Quiet, friendly, non-chatty, distant, neat. Those are some of my favourite words to describe my ideal neighbours.
We have one set of neighbours just like that. They keep to themselves, they're quiet and when you see them in the street all you need to do is wave and smile. Perfect.
Then there are some not-so-perfect neighbours, like those who have parties every second weekend. That annoys me, but I can live with it. Or those who go outside their house to have their big arguments. It's just unfortunate that their preferred spot for yelling happens to be right outside my daughter's bedroom.
But the ones I find unbearable are the nosy ones.
The retired couple who live across the road from us are always home. That's fine, they're entitled to be there. But I, too, am almost always at home. And we happen to have big windows facing the street, where anyone passing by (not many; it's a quiet street) can see into our lounge room, dining room and kitchen. This was not a problem until these particular neighbours moved in.
They love to look into the windows of our house, and make no attempts to do this subtly.
One day, I was sitting at my dining room table, typing on my laptop. Abbey was sitting next to me, drawing. At one point I noticed she had stopped and was looking out the window, and she then began waving. I looked outside and there were the neighbours - standing in our front yard, waving to her. I got up and moved us to another room.
Another day, I was looking after my niece and playing with her and Abbey in the lounge room. We played cars and trains, we danced and we acted silly. When I looked outside, I was surprised to see the neighbours standing on the street, watching us and laughing. I closed the curtains.
The day after I had friends over for lunch last week, they came over as I was getting out of the car and asked what the event was and why we had so many people over. I told them, but what I really wanted to say was: 'Mind your own business'.
Maybe I'm the rude one here, but I really do prefer my neighbours to be of the smile-and-wave variety. I don't want to feel as though I should rush in from the car or avoid going outside when they are there, in fear of being bailed up in gossipy conversation for a length of time.
But I'm trying to be on my best behaviour. After all, as Steve likes to remind me, the nosy neighbours are the ones likely to notice if something goes wrong when we're away on holidays or out for the day.
There is nothing to be gained by upsetting them.
Except, of course, some peace and privacy.
What type of neighbour do you like? Do you have any neighbours that make you want to move to a very isolated, large block of land?
Megan
7 comments:
I hear you.
We are, thank fully, lucky in this respect. Wave and smile only.
(In fact, our neighbours probably are smiling through gritted teeth at us, the very noisy family of five with screechy kids and fishwife Mumma.......)
Over the years of many many house moves, we have been not so lucky. So I feel your frustration........xx
That is a little creepy, if you ask me! We don't even know our neighbours on one side (they're kind of a distance away) and the other side are smile and wave neighbours. Just as I like it! ;)
We've never really had much to do with our neighbours, which has suited my family just fine.
Although we do have a pretty weird family living next door. Two adult men (I mean about 50ish!) and their parents. Sometimes when I run past their house, the 50yo son will yell out "HULLO SWEETHEART, JUST GOING FOR A RUN, ARE WE?!" which creeps me out.
But then other days, he will stare blankly at me and not say a word. I don't think he is quite right in the head, which is sad, but to be honest, I do prefer when he stares blankly.....
I'm with you - I prefer to be on a smile and wave basis with my neighbours. I don't mind a quick chat either, but forget cups of tea and backyard bbqs. Not my thing.
But Steve is a clever man - it is true that they will probably be the first to notice if anything is wrong.
I think perhaps they are probably kind of lonely. Maybe they don't have grandkids, or don't see their grandkids and so are taken with Abbey. Old people LOVE little people. And after all - she is incredibly gorgeous! So, it's probably harmless. And they're just trying to be friendly.
Please don't think I'm wrapping you over the knuckles here - just that I have elderly parents and I can imagine them being taken with a small child. Altho - standing looking in the window is a bit strange!
Well, you now know about my the Jogging Lady in my street, and now I should tell you our next dr neighbours, also an elderly couple, who moved in to their house to "downsize" from their last home. Problem is: they bought a house. With a yard. And they don't want to maintain it, so they're cutting trees down left, right and centre, including bushes that separate our front yard and now it looks unsightly! We had words. In fact, Hubby sent me out to talk to them, because he knows I'll tell it like it is. They are now cutting their side back, but leaving our side, but the damage has been done - there's a big space where I can see right on to the side of their house, where there used to be lovely bushes before that. Ugh!
I mean, why buy a house with a yard if you can't maintain it?
Sheesh.
Rant over.
My idea of neighbours is, if you can see their lights at night, they're too close.
I can get along with neighbours, but have had some (mostly with little yappy dogs or loud music) that have driven me to screaming SHUT UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! over the back fence.
So I would prefer to build my own home out in the middle of no-where and never have to think about neighbours as long as I live.
Lotto dream.
I have been thinking about your post all week....
After I read your post and comments on Friday, something interesting happened:
Our "new neighbours" (been in the house across the road since before Christmas!) came over and knocked on our door with a variety of delicious home made treats and an invitation to a housewarming/getting to know the neighbours bbq the following day.
Given that I am heavily pregnant (as you know) and it was my babies due date the following day, I made my polite excuses and said I would obviously have to see how I was feeling. Her enthusiasm and excitement at our impending arrival was actually very touching.
When she left, my husband commented:
"Isn't she just lovely? That's the kind of neighbour you want to have!"
The next day, feeling fine, I decided that I should at least make an appearance to show that we appreciated the gesture.
The only neighbours (S & S and baby A) we have a strong relationship with, were also going and so I ventured across the road with them.
All our immediate neighbours were there and I was welcomed (embarrassingly) like a celebrity.
To be honest, the last thing I actually felt like was to talk about the baby that clearly was not keen to join us that day. However, so many of the neighbours had commented that they were thinking of us, and had been wondering had junior arrived?
I hadn't known that they even knew I was pregnant! (Granted, a woman looking like a hippo is very hard to miss!)I was quite touched.
As each of them left, they all offered assistance in anything I needed, cooking food for me when we come home and their very best wishes. All said they were eager to hear the news, but did not want to intrude.
So S & S have devised a plan and offered to put a pink or blue balloon on our fence so the neighbours know of juniors arrival and gender and so we would not be bothered by knocks at the door.
On that note, Mrs S has become one of my very good friends in the past couple of years and we have especially bonded over the birth of her daughter, Baby A, and my pregancy.
She has been generous with her time, support, maternity clothes and gifts for junior before they have even arrived! At my baby shower she went home to pop baby A to bed and once she noticed a lot of cars had gone; she came back over with her sleeves rolled up and did the dishes for about an hour and a half so I didn't have to! What a treasure!
So, whilst I thought that I agreed with your post wholeheartedly, the weekends events showed me that there can be a happy medium between no-one around and "nosy neighbours" who stand in your front windows peering in.
Thank you for making me think about this and subsequently realise how lucky I am to have good neighbours. (and in the Case of S & S - GREAT neighbours).
xo xo
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