I Feel The Need

Do you know what I really, really need right now?

A big, huge, massive dose of retail therapy.

In my former life, with disposable income and free weekends and lots of time alone, I shopped a lot. That doesn't mean I had lots of amazing clothes or accessories or anything. Oh no, I tend to worry too much about spending money and instead stare longingly at things and wish I could just be an impulse buyer and forget the guilt.

I tended to buy for 'need' rather than 'want'.

Then I'd come home and yearn for said things and drive Steve insane until he'd ask me to please just go and buy them. When I did, I'd then become guilty and return at least some of the things.

Yes, I miss my (ahem) carefree childless shopping days.

But at least I had the time to keep going back to the shops to yearn, to buy and then return (actually, I didn't really have the time, but I did it anyway). And I had the money to spend, if I let go of the guilt for a moment (I'm only tight when it comes to spending money on myself, I promise!).

There are a few things holding me back from such a shopping trip now. Partly money, but I won't go into that (one word should suffice: renovations). But also because shopping with a toddler is not quite the same as shopping alone. Alone, I don't have to wait out a tantrum or juggle snacks and drinks and other distraction devices. Other than chocolate, that is. And any toddler-free time is spent on other things. Writing. Working. Catching up with friends. Sleeping.

Then there's the other problem. What's the point in shopping for clothes when I'm almost always at home anyway? Any yearning I have for lovely new clothes comes back to the sensible thought that I won't wear beautiful skirts or high heels at home. It's jeans and sneakers all the way these days.

But how I'd love a long, dawdling shopping trip. A girl can dream, right?


Megan