Don't Get Me Started... Oh Wait

I should have known it was only a matter of time.

Really, we've been very lucky that our builders are such lovely, considerate, neat men. But, with all these other tradies - roofers, plumbers, electricians - coming to work on our house, it was bound to happen.

This was something I noticed about our builders when they first came to speak with us. It was a conscious thought - something we would need to talk about if they were inclined to do this. But I forgot about all the other tradies. Amidst all the other things going on, I hadn't given it any more thought.

But then, yesterday, it happened. I was washing the dishes and there was one of the plumbers, right outside the kitchen window.

Smoking. And I knew exactly what he was about to do with that butt. I watched as he stamped it into our front garden. Not. Happy. This was something I knew about the builders right from that first meeting - after all, they didn't smell of smoke. If they had, I would have spoken to them about the binning of butts.

I went outside and spoke to them - very, very politely and extremely restrained. I didn't go on the rant I wanted to; I merely asked them to put their butts in the bin because we have a toddler who is likely to find them and put them in her mouth. They were very apologetic and I thanked them profusely for understanding.

I restrained from telling them it's just a revolting thing to do, littering like that. (Clearly I should have, though, because half an hour later he was putting a butt on our front nature strip. Sigh.)

I stopped myself from telling them not to smoke anywhere in eyesight of my daughter. Ideally I'd like her to never know about smoking, to live in a world where it doesn't exist. Unrealistic much?

Yes, I was very restrained. Especially considering the rant I go on in public if I see anyone littering with a cigarette butt, or the huge fuss I make if someone blows smoke near me or Abbey.

Like I say, it was bound to happen. With tradies coming in and out all day, every day, it's just lucky - and probably goes to show how much smoking has reduced in society - it hasn't happened before now.

Unless I've not seen it... (excuse me while I go outside with a magnifying glass.)


Megan

Healthy Living Part II: Balance

I spoke about my eating habits in Part I, and have since made a conscious effort to improve what I eat. It's only been a week, but so far so good. I'll give you an update on that soon. I was going to do Part II as exercise, but I've actually made another change to my life in the meantime. It's all about my approach to work/life balance - which, to me, falls into the category of 'Healthy Living' as it improves my wellbeing. Anyway. Here's what I've done...

My life of late has felt like it's spiralling out of control. I wasn't being the mum I wanted to be, and nor was I achieving the work I aimed to do. I've been exhausted. I spent all day and all evening, every day of the week, almost glued to my computer, but not getting a whole lot done because I was stopping and starting and distracted. It took me ten times as long to do anything.

At first I thought it was just because I have a toddler. Makes sense, right? I persisted.

But then something changed. Abbey started acting clingy towards me. For the first time ever she was constantly demanding my attention. I wondered where my independent little girl had gone. I blamed it on being some two-year-old thing, and still I persisted with life as it was.

Then I put two and two together. I'm still slightly blinded by the huge flash of that light bulb moment.

I thought back and realised my most frequently used words to Abbey were 'Just a minute', 'Wait' and 'I just have to do this'. A two-year-old does not understand such phrases. She was becoming impatient with me, and I with her. I remembered that, lately, when I turned to my computer, she had started to cry and pull my hands away. I knew that when she asked me a question, she had begun to immediately follow that with the word 'Wait'.

This is difficult for me to say. I feel like a terrible mother.

I don't want to make it sound worse than it was, however. She was still fed, we played the odd game here and there... I wasn't completely ignoring her. But my principles about the amount of television she watches were slipping, and I was doing whatever was easiest in order to give myself more time to get things done.

When I was being a mum, I was half doing that and half focusing on other things. When I was doing other things, I was half focused on being a mum.

I was seriously exhausted. This, right here, is what I believe to be the root of all the problems I spoke of in my first Healthy Living post. The reason for my diet slipping, my exercise taking last priority and my terrible new outlook. Everything was based around the things I had to get done.

Something had to change.

I made a decision. My laptop was to remain firmly closed, until such time as the one - yes, back to one - show each day I let Abbey watch. Show over equals laptop shut. Until such time as Steve comes home and looks after her, or I arrange for someone else to help me out. At worst, my computer is shut until such time as Abbey is asleep.

I made a decision to do things properly. When I'm being a mum, I'm there for Abbey and I'm giving her everything I can. Having said that, I don't intend to completely annoy her by following her around and doing every single little thing with her. No, I still value her independence. I do other things that being a mum involves - cooking, cleaning, reading a book (research does say that kids need to see their parents read, and who am I to argue with that?), going for walks, running around, taking her to visit other people. But it comes down to this: my daughter is not something to be juggled in a balancing act.

And when I'm working or writing or whatever, I'll do that properly. I'll give that the attention it deserves. Because I'm not into bad quality.

I have some dreams I want to pursue, but it shouldn't be at the expense of my family.

It's a new outlook for me, but I feel better for it already. I think it's the right thing to do. Having gone from a stay-at-home-mum to a work-outside-home-mum to a work-at-home-mum, I'm still finding my feet here. I am far from finding the perfect balance, or the best version of my life, but I feel one step closer.

I think it's a healthier approach.

Do you have any rules you try to stick to in order to achieve balance in your life?


Megan

This Moment

If I could wrap Abbey up right now and keep her at this age forever, at just-turned-two, I would.

It's somewhat of a surprise to hear myself say that, because in so many ways the toddler years are hard work. But for this moment, right here...

I'm lying in bed, eyes shut, dreams just beginning to turn to thoughts, my body teetering towards the edge of the mattress. Next to me, having snuck in during the night, is Abbey, arms and legs sprawled out messily. She is still asleep and I lie for a moment, watching as her little hands twitch every so often and she rolls to her side as she sleeps.

I remember her as a baby in the hospital, as I tried to sleep on that first day. Right from that moment, I found it impossible to sleep with Abbey in the room. My eyes are glued to her little chest rising up and down, her toes twitching and the little sighs and facial expressions she makes in her sleep.

Then she makes a move. Still with her eyes shut, she reaches out her hands, searching blindly. When she finds her beloved teddy bear, she strokes the tassels on his soft hat and gently falls back to sleep.

I could get up, I could do some work while she sleeps. There are a million things to be done. But I don't do any of them. I lie there and watch her sleep, see her smile as she wakes to see me there. Even then, I don't rush to get up. We stay there for a while longer, chatting, giggling and laughing.

I begin my day with a heart full of love and happiness.


Megan

I'm Loving...

So, did you notice the fresh new look here at Writing Out Loud?

I was lucky enough to win a new blog banner from the very talented Amanda at Calico and Co!

I first found out about Amanda's work through the lovely Cat of Wouldn't It Be Loverly, and followed her links to Amanda's Made It store, Lemon Tree Lane, where she sells beautiful cards and prints.

I bought this one for my new office:

So when I won a new blog banner by Amanda, I was really excited. She has been so lovely to deal with and, in no time, had sent through three concepts for me to look at. This was a fantastic effort in itself, considering I answered her questions about what I wanted with a lot of statements like 'I don't know', 'I'm not sure' and 'Um...'. Yes, I was a really helpful customer.

But Amanda came up with the gorgeous speech bubble above - and I love it.

What do you think?


Megan

Word Of The Week

Abbey's words of the week this week are...

Go Saints!
Pronunciation: Doe Saints
It's AFL Grand Final week here in Melbourne - and today is the big day! - so we've been teaching Abbey to cheer for the team. 'Go Saints' has been chanted in this house a lot this week and, as all good parents do, we're brainwashing our daughter!


Megan

Renovations: Days Twenty-Eight And Twenty-Nine

It's been a quiet week on the renovation front.

The builders had nothing else to do until the roofing guys had caught up with them. And the roofing guys had some other work to do in between ours... so we have a third of a new roof.

But, I love looking at the photo above - it shows the comparison between our existing tiles and the new colourbond. And we are SO happy with our decision!

Other than that, Steve and I have been painting the back decking with undercoat and trying to sort out the inside of the house. We have to move Abbey into the spare room shortly, as the builders will be cutting through into the existing part of the house.

The builders also spoke to us about moving out for a few weeks soon - the minute they have to begin working inside, we have to get out. I mean, imagine a house full of builders' tools, holes in walls and roofs and floors... and a two-year-old.

It's all about to get messy here.


Megan

Footy Fever

Today the lovely Naomi, friend and blogger over at Under The Yardarm, and I are swapping blogs. To talk serious business: tomorrow's AFL Grand Final, where my team, St Kilda, will be taking on Naomi's team, Collingwood.

Neither Naomi nor I ever - ever! - imagined sitting here writing about football, or being involved in the friendly rivalry that this game inspires. We both grew up without so much as a second glance at the AFL ladder - but our kids are enjoying a somewhat different experience...

A few years ago I knew nothing really about football. Hubby didn't watch and the kids were unaware of its existence. I made all the right noises at work for the yearly footy day, but that was about it. A move to Victoria changed all that and now myself, The Green Eyed Girl and The Blue Eyed boy are members of what is, without a hint of bias, the best team.

One eyed you say? Maybe. Just a little. But Collingwood runs in my blood.

The story goes, as told by my Dad, (one of the all time great story tellers) that his grandfather was Collingwood born. Literally. In an ally. I can hear Dad's voice now as he tells his grandchildren the tale.

"Your Great, great grandfather was literally born on the streets of Collingwood." Now this may or may not be entirely accurate, but as Dad also says, "Never let the truth stand in the way of a great story". Truer words were never spoken.

Whatever the accuracy of my family beginnings, it is now legend and we are forevermore Collingwood people.

In the past few years I have been to a number of games, some with my Dad and kids, some with friends and their kids. Even Hubby and my Mum have come to a few. Every game we go to we win. The Blue Eyed Boy is certain he is a lucky charm. I tend to agree. I also agree that once I enter the hallowed place that is the MCG I become another person, or, another version of myself. The bogan that I am sure resides in all of us just a little, finds its way to the surface. And I like it.

At first when we started going to the games I was not really sure what was going on... The Blue Eyed Boy would say, Mummy who is that player? Um... I don't know was my usual reply (while thinking, but he looks mighty fine in those shorts) ... Mum why do the crowd yell BAAAAAAALLLLL the Green Eyed Girl would ask, er, I haven't got a clue sweetheart.

Fast forward to this year, and a nail biting match at Etihad Stadium between The Hot Pies and the cold dogs (Collingwood and Western Bulldogs) - imagine a nice family all sitting together, looking refined, laughing, chatting, paying loving attention to their children? I was sitting next to them. Yelling BAAAAAAAALL and YOU MUST BE FARRRRRKING JOKING - WHAT ARE YOU BLIND??? And Oh My God HARRY YOU BLOODY BEAUTY! and RUUUUN Leon RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! not to forget ONYA DAISY!!!!

At three quarter time while Hubby took the Blue Eyed Boy off for a food run, and The Green Eyed Girl chatted to BestPam and her lovely children, I stood and talked tactics with a complete stranger. Well, she was kind of a stranger, she had her members lanyard and was wearing black and white, so more family member than stranger.

Along with my transformation is the children's. The Blue Eyed Boy in particular. He has gone from a wide eyed little boy to an eleven year old wise to the game. He sits on the edge of his seat at games yelling and throws his hands up in despair, disbelief or in pure joy. He proudly wears his guernsey on game day as well as when we don't go to matches and has learnt to talk footy banter with people. Perhaps the best part of the game is standing, united by the joy of a win, side by side with my kids and my Dad in a sea of black and white proudly singing out team song.

This year has been a big one for Collingwood. We have not won a premiership since 1990. Before that our last win was 1958. We are the team others love to hate. We are strong, we are resilient. We are ready. But, that is all I will say, because, like all true footy tragics I have developed my own superstitions and I don't want to jinx anything.

Thanks Naomi! You can read my post on Naomi's blog here. Oh, and - Go Saints!


Megan

Being An Aunty

After the birth of my sister's third child - a beautiful little boy - two weeks ago, I am now an aunty seven times over.

Three nephews and two nieces on my side of the family, and two nieces on Steve's side, ranging in age from ten years to two weeks - they're all gorgeous kids.

Being an aunty is so different to being a mum. Mainly because you just get the fun bits, without the sleepless nights and tantrums. But since having Abbey, I also love seeing her develop relationships with her cousins.

She sees six of her cousins (the seventh lives in Sydney and we're yet to meet her!) regularly. And her face lights up when she does.

Abbey looks adoringly at ten-year-old Miss S and tries to do everything she does; she runs around crazily with six-year-olds Mr L and Mr H; plays with and avoids cuddles from almost-four-year-old Miss E; loves but clashes with three-year-old Miss C; and gently pats the little two-week-old baby (Mr as-yet-unnamed!).

And she loves it when her mum stops working and does fun things when the kids come over - like going to a kids' day at the local tulip festival with the very gorgeous six-year-old Mr L yesterday:

A tractor ride! 

In the craft tent 

Running among the tulips (Mr L trying to hold Abbey still for a quick photo!) (Yes, Abbey has a blue nose from the stamps in the craft tent!)

Megan

We Have A Winner!

The winner of my first ever giveaway - the headscarf, not the child (although, depending on the day...!) - is....

Comment number 7 (not counting my comments responding to you all, of course!) belongs to... Lori from Random Ramblings of a SAHM!

Thanks to everyone for entering! Lori, I'll send you an email now.


Megan

Healthy Living Part I: Diet

I've been thinking about my lifestyle recently (after reading this post by the lovely Jane, whose attitude towards these things I share) and I think I know why I've been struggling a little.

You see, I'm constantly exhausted lately. Through the fog of tiredness, I can see the shadows that suddenly seem permanently housed under my eyes and the state of my skin. It's not good.

I'm sure there are a number of factors causing this:

1. My diet has become more about grabbing whatever happens to be quick to prepare, rather than what's healthy.
2. I'm barely exercising.
3. I'm working too hard. I push and push and push myself.
4. Aside from work/writing, I don't do anything for myself.

(Sound familiar? Anyone nodding along with me here?!)

But all of those things are within my control.

I'm going to try and make some changes, beginning with my diet (I'll do another post about exercise, and perhaps another one about taking some time for me).

(By the way, when I use the word 'diet', I mean it in the long-term lifestyle sense. I don't do 'diets' as a short-term or fad thing. Never have and never will.)

Here's what I currently do in terms of food and drink:

Breakfast - either two eggs and multigrain toast or a bowl of porridge.
Morning tea - whatever happens to be around. Preferably something sweet.
Lunch - leftovers from the previous night's dinner. If nothing is quickly available, I'll just snack on whatever is in the fridge.
Afternoon tea - whatever happens to be around. Preferably something sweet. Will also snack on some nuts or biscuits and cheese during the day.
Dinner - either meat and three veg or pasta and meat sauce or risotto.
Dessert - something sweet.
Drinks - I'll have a glass of orange juice with breakfast, then drink water all day and usually with dinner. A couple of nights a week I'll have a glass of wine with dinner.

Honestly, I read that and I just want to yawn. And eat chocolate.

So here's what I need to change - and I can see it SO clearly now that I've written all that (and been honest with myself, even though I really wanted to write more interesting things there!):

Breakfast - I'm a creature of habit when it comes to breakfast, and I think my options are healthy enough. The only thing I'd probably change is to also have some yoghurt - I love a big brekky.
Morning tea - fruit. I will need to force myself. I don't like fruit. (If you have any ideas to make fruit more interesting, please feel free to let me know via comment or email!)
Lunch - I often used to eat pasta for lunch, which I think would be okay. Dinner leftovers are usually healthy too. Otherwise, if I get back to planning my meals and food shopping a bit better, I could have something like a chicken salad or - as a faster option - a multigrain toasted cheese sandwich (not too often - I don't like bread, although I can handle it if it's toasted to a perfect crispy brown, absent of any soft bits). (Yes, I am a crazy woman.)
Afternoon tea - probably more fruit. (Ideas pleeeease!)
Dinner - we used to eat such great dinners. Fresh pasta, beautiful vegies with nice sauces, trying new things. Now we've gone back to basics and I'm not happy about it (basic is good, but not all the time). This is just a matter of taking the time to plan a good meal before doing the food shopping, and seeing the time it takes to cook a good meal as worthwhile. Which it really, really is.
Dessert - okay, I don't intend to fully cut out sweets. But I think once a day should be plenty!
Drinks - I think I'm all good there. I just need to make sure I drink enough water, as busyness can make me forget about it at times.

I've also taken a look at the old food pyramid (remember that from your school days?!) to see where I sit:

Vegetables - five serves

Fruit - two serves

Dairy – two serves

Meat, eggs, nuts, fish, lentils, etc. – one to two serves

Breads, cereals, rice and pasta – four to six serves

(Source 1, Source 2) My big downfalls have always been fruit and dairy. So I'll really have to focus on those I think. Everything else should be okay with my new plan.

Oh, and as a matter of interest, and because I found this information a little difficult to come by, I thought I'd share the healthy eating guide for kids too (this is for toddlers up to about eleven years - it only changes very slightly after that):

Vegetables - two to four serves

Fruit - one to two serves

Dairy – three serves

Meat, eggs, nuts, fish, lentils, etc. – one to two serves

Breads, cereals, rice and pasta – three to five serves

(Source) Interesting to note that Abbey's diet is virtually perfect according to this. Anyone sense a bit of 'do as I say and not as I do' in this household?

How about you? Do you feel you need to make changes to your diet? Do you feed your kids better than yourself? Any food ideas to share?


Megan

Love, Marriage And Renovations

I was up to my neck, surrounded by boxes as I cleaned the spare room. Boxes filled with books, memorabilia going back the almost ten years we've been in our house... and earlier.

Sitting behind the bookshelf was a huge frame. I pulled it out, wondering what it was. Would it be some amazing photograph I'd forgotten about? Or a print given to us years ago?

I was sadly disappointed. There was a picture, yes. A forgotten one, oh yes. But it was a picture that had possibly been placed there by one member of the household who had been hoping the other would forget it existed. An enormous, revoltingly purple, tacky Phantom comic print.

Apparently it's worth a lot of money, but, seriously, would you hang that in your house? No, I thought not. Me either.

Marriage tip 1: When you don't like his things, gradually and sneakily move them to a carefully planned hiding spot.

Steve and I have often struggled with this dilemma: who has the final say in decorating the house? We both live here but we don't always like the same things. And compromise is rarely possible in these situations. (To be perfectly honest, we're both far too stubborn for compromise to work in many situations.)

Take, for example, the time I decided I wanted all the carpet removed from the house. We had already taken it out of the main living areas, kitchen and laundry to uncover beautiful hardwood floors, but I wanted to go further: I wanted polished wooden floors in the bedrooms as well.

Steve said no. It would be too cold, he argued. My plan was to have a rug in each room, and pointed out that the moment we step out of the bedroom, our feet would be on wooden floors anyway. That's why socks and slippers were invented. Still, Steve said no.

He came home from fire brigade one Sunday afternoon to find the carpets removed from the bedrooms. And, I might add, he loved it.

Marriage tip 2: When you can't agree, just do it anyway.

Our next disagreement was with paint colours. I wanted a feature wall in the lounge room. Steve said no, he didn't like feature walls. He hadn't learnt from the last time and went to fire brigade again, coming home to find various colours painted over the wall. There was no choice but to paint it - a dark red wine colour.

He said, that's it - one feature wall is enough. But I was hooked. I wanted more. Steve said absolutely not. The next time he left the house, he came home to a green wall in our bedroom. (I might add that he did like both feature walls. But this one is only a semi-win, as I no longer like them. Oops.)

Are you sensing a pattern here?

Marriage tip 3: If he goes out, he must suffer the consequences.

Now, here we are undertaking a major renovation. We not only have to decide on flooring and paint colours (which has actually gone surprisingly smoothly this time!), but house plans and layouts and furniture and, well, everything.

You may recall the beginning of this renovation, when we argued in front of the builder. Steve had spoken to the builders about one aspect of the plans and made some changes that we hadn't spoken about. I changed them back, with his eventual agreement of course.

Marriage tip 4: Argue until he finally agrees, just to shut you up.

As for the inside of the house, I have a clear picture in my mind of how each room will look. The problem is I tend to forget to share this information with Steve, and he has an entirely different image in his mind. Then I get frustrated that he doesn't share my opinion and become intent on trying to change his mind.

Marriage tip 5: It's all about communication. Who knew?

And the Phantom picture? Well, I'll be sure to communicate my thoughts on that.

Marriage tip 6: If you don't want to say something to your husband, ask him to read your latest blog post instead.


Megan

The Lingo

Life in the twenty-first century has brought with it its own language. We should be making things easier, but I find it all kind of complicated...

Friend - This should be a relatively simple term. I mean, someone is either your friend or not, right? Wrong. Now, there are friends on Facebook and actual friends. The term must be clarified in conversation (although I wonder why people don't just stick to the one type of friend (you know, actual friends), rather than Facebook friends that are what - fake friends? Enemies? Strangers?).

Follower - A follower of your blog or twitter account, which is quite straightforward. Except that speaking of your 'followers' makes you sound like the leader of some bizarre cult or something.

Emoticons - Why are so many people winking at me all of a sudden? No one ever used to wink unless they had dirt in one eyeball.

LOL - Laugh out loud. Although many of the things people 'LOL' at aren't actually worth a loud laugh. And I recently overheard a conversation - yes, an actual verbal conversation - between a couple of teenagers and when one said something vaguely amusing, the other said "Lol!" I wondered why she didn't actually laugh out loud, rather than say she found it funny enough to laugh at loudly?

As for nouns and verbs - Do I blog, or do I have a blog? Is it a tweet, or am I tweeting? Do I click onto Google or am I Googling?

And so many acronyms: LOLZ, FTW, FFS, LMAO, ROFL, IRL, BTW...

OMG it's all so confusing.

Is there any online language that confuses you?


Megan

Renovations: Days Twenty-Six And Twenty-Seven

The last couple of days have seen a few noticeable changes.

Namely, the near completion of external walls, and the installation of windows!

This process also included the replacement of two existing windows, in our lounge room and dining room. Those two had to be double-glazed - it's to do with their position in direct sun and the energy rating. Or something.

While I spent Saturday out walking and visiting, to get Abbey out of the builder's way, Steve got outside and began undercoating the back pergola (we want to paint it before the laserlight goes on).

This truckload of steel was delivered, too. This coming week will see this installed as our new roof (weather permitting)!

The builder also had a little chat to us about the next stage: cutting through to the existing part of the house. Which is Abbey's room (soon to be my our new office!). So, if you don't hear from me much this week, you can be sure I'm up to my neck in boxes, as I remove the contents of our spare room and move everything in Abbey's room into it.

I'm reminding myself: it will be worth it. It will be worth it.


Megan

Word Of The Week

Abbey's Word of the Week this week is...

Tunnel noun
Pronunciation: Tunny
This week has been all about the tunnels in the house. No, we're not building secret passages as part of our renovations! - I mean the tunnels Abbey was given as presents.
First, there was the tepee that Steve and I made (you can see that here). Abbey refers to that as her 'tunny'.
Then, my parents gave her a train set for her birthday - just a simple one that can be made into a figure-eight. But Nanna knew exactly what else our little girl needed, having watched her play with the trains at her house. A tunnel was donated from Nanna's toy collection to Abbey's - and she sits playing with it for hours on end ('Train tunny!').


Megan

Photo Friday: Pretty

I felt like doing a pretty Photo Friday this week!

I love a good flower photo - and I think the best ones I've ever taken were in Samoa earlier this year. The colours were so vibrant, it was wet and humid so there were beautiful, glistening raindrops on the leaves.

An amateur photographer's dream come true!

Do you have any photos to share this week? Just leave a link in the comments!


Megan

I'm Loving... And A Giveaway!

This is the second in a new series of posts called "I'm Loving..." where I tell you about the things I love online.

And this one has a giveaway with it!

One of my favourite online stores is Eternal Creation. Not just a place that sells kids' and adults' clothes and accessories - this is an amazing story about ethical trading. Australian designer, Frances Carrington, moved to northern India, at the foot of the Himalayas and began this online business (read Frances' story here, and a wonderful interview with her here). So inspiring!

I've purchased a few things from Eternal Creation so far - a few cute pieces of clothing for Abbey and a dress for myself.

Most recently, I bought Abbey these divine fairy wings, which arrived in a parcel postmarked from the Himalayas:

Be still my heart.

Okay - now for giveaway time!

With thanks to Eternal Creation I have one of these gorgeous headscarfs to give away to one of my lovely readers:

(It's the same pattern as the one my model Abbey is wearing in the photo above, but it's a brand new headscarf still in its packaging.)

I found the headscarf to be a great child's accessory on a recent beach holiday. It protected Abbey's head but didn't get in her way, and she could wear it in and out of the water.

The headscarf is for girls of any age - it is elasticised so it fits from babies right through to older kids (Abbey loved putting it on my head, and it even fit me!).

To enter, you need to do two things:

1. Make sure you're following my blog - so that I can track you down if you win! (I'd also love you to follow me on Twitter and Facebook, but I won't get too bossy...).

2. Head to Eternal Creation's website, have a flick through their amazing selection and come back to leave a comment telling me what you love on their site!

Easy! The giveaway closes on Wednesday night, 22nd September 2010, and I'll draw the winner at random on Thursday morning, 23rd September. Oh, and Australian residents only please! 


Megan

Renovations: Day Twenty-Five

A couple of pictures to show you the progress.

The state of our roof - but not for long. The installation of our new colourbond roof is starting tomorrow!

And the beginning of WALLS!

Megan

A Post About A Tepee

When it came to birthday presents for our little girl's second birthday last week, my husband, Steve, and I gave lots of thought to what we could buy.

We ended up with a few smaller things - puzzles (one of which you can see here), musical instruments, a special book and a DVD - but still wanted that one big, main present for her.

Steve had seen tepee style things in the shops but they were $200+ which seemed a little excessive. But we loved the idea of it - a little hideout for Abbey, somewhere she could put her toys, organise things (something she loves doing!) and have her own small space.

Then I remembered seeing something online - a tepee pattern (for only $4) on a blog that I love, Childhood 101.

I suggested to Steve that we make one using this pattern, and we both loved the idea - so I bought the pattern and headed to Spotlight for some material.

The pattern was really simple to follow - it was my/our first sewing project! (the hardest thing was figuring out the sewing machine I'd bought a while ago with the best intentions...) - and we made a couple of slight alterations. We decided not to have a floor to the tepee, instead attaching rubber feet to the base of the poles and putting a couple of crossbars across the sides, as the floor would provide stability that we lost when we decided not to do that.

Anyway, here it is (don't look too closely - my sewing skills are far from perfect!):

Cute, hey?

Head here to purchase the tepee pattern.


Megan

My Toons

I've been thinking for a little while about doing a post on the music I love. I've been avoiding it because my taste in music can be a little, well, um, bogan (and I might lose a lot of readers who discover they couldn't possibly follow a blog run by a bogan-in-disguise).

But then the lovely Naomi over at Under the Yardarm posted this - Tuesday Tunes. And I wanted to do one too. So, I'm taking the plunge.

Last week, on the last day that my little Abbey was one, I was in a baking frenzy in preparation for her party. At one point I stopped, turned the music up and grabbed my little girl - and we danced around the kitchen. We spun and twirled, we danced cheek to cheek and we laughed and laughed - to these tunes...















What do you like to drop everything and dance to?


Megan

Why I Love To Travel

Travel.

When I hear that word, I smile. I imagine myself having fun, seeing new things, meeting different people, experiencing exciting adventures.

I picture untainted beaches, blue water, burning hot deserts, snow-covered mountain peaks, cities that never slow. I see palm trees, the highest waterfalls, rivers, buildings disappearing into a smoggy skyline.

I feel the sunshine warming me through to my core, white sand between my toes, jumping into the clear blue water. The cold of the snow as I roll it between my palms, and the way it falls to pieces like powder as I throw it.

When I think of travelling, reality never comes to mind. I never associate travel with day-to-day minutiae – paying bills, work, financial worries, housework, dealing with the needs of a child.

Travel is synonymous with escapism.

Funny, because it also involves lots of detail: saving money, planning around children, fitting in with the requirements of work, family and other commitments.

From as early as I can remember, I have dreamt of travelling. I don’t know where this dream came from. Mine is not a travelling family. The furthest we ventured when I was growing up was the next state. No other members of my family dream of travelling or spend their days planning the next trip in their imagination, listing out all the places they want to see in their lifetime and hoping to find a way to continually escape from the real world.

Like me.

I want to have crazy adventures, looking back wondering how I managed to do something but secretly knowing the adrenaline had spurred me on. I love the feeling of having done something I would never have dared think I could. Scrambling across rocks, hiking up the steepest slopes to reach the mountaintop, revealing the most amazing vistas. A secret treasure, a view over the rest of the world, when they don’t even know you’re watching. Seeing something you feel that no one else knows exists.

Taking a photograph to keep on your wall for the rest of your days, a reminder of the wonderful times. Something to give you that feeling inside each time you see it.

Time to just be me, without the pressures of work or other demands. To just have fun.

Travel. The word makes me itch to jump in a car or an aeroplane. It makes me smile.


Megan

The Party!

Last week, my little Abbey turned two. We held her party on the weekend - here's how it went...

 

The theme was spring!

The day began with a list a kilometre long, so Steve and I got to work early. I soon discovered that decorating the cupcakes was a little difficult for me, so Steve did them! Then the guests arrived and it all kicked off with the kids running around, soon heading out into the backyard and showing that my decision not to organise party games was a good one - they were all very taken with a game called 'chase the chooks around the yard'.

They ran and ran all day - until cake time (the cupcakes, plus a lemon meringue cake for the adults, that went so quickly I didn't have a chance to take a photo of it until it was almost gone!). And then they played some more.

And then it was present time! Our friends were so generous with their gifts for Abbey, and she loves them all.

And the day ended as all good days should - with a couple of glasses (or, um, bottles) of champagne shared with a gorgeous friend.

I was so relieved that it all went so well.


Megan

Renovations: Days Twenty-Two, Twenty-Three And Twenty-Four

The last few days have been all about colour for us.

While the builders have been removing tiles and working with the electrician to get that side of things sorted, Steve and I have been looking at so many colour samples that they were threatening to all blur together.

I'm happy to report that we have made some decisions.

Our new colourbond roof will be a dark grey.

And we have been playing with external paint colours and decided - much to our surprise - on an emerald green and a dark grey that matches the roof.

We hope these colours will complement the beautiful red cedar boards.

What do you think?


Megan

Photo Friday: Self Portrait

I've always been terrible at taking photos of myself. My aim is all wrong - I usually end up with a shot of the background.

Last weekend, when I was all made up to attend the Melbourne Writers Festival, I stood in front of my bedroom mirror and took a photo. Sure, it took about three hundred clicks to get my whole face in the shot - but better late than never, right?

It also shows off my new haircut (very short again)!

Okay, confession time: I did have to crop it a bit. What else did I do? I added a vignette (black border) and created an interesting mix of black and white with sepia tone. The dark shades make me feel a bit mysterious (which I'm clearly not, if you've read any of this blog).

How did you go this week? Any photos to share?


Megan

Two

She is funny. It's rare that we're not laughing when Abbey's around. She has developed a real sense of humour that is just like her Dad's... the same glint in her eye before she does something funny and the same desire to do anything - anything! - that will get a laugh.

She is brave. She will hurt herself, run over for a quick kiss better and then continue with what she was doing. If we try to give her some sympathy for a particularly rough tumble, she'll push us away - she has little tolerance for such things.

She is busy. She never stops. Ever. She spends her days pottering around, organising things and sorting out her toys. The only time she sits down is for a story; even when she watches television she'll stand up.

She is independent. 'I do' is the current phrase. This is spoken when getting into her carseat, getting out of her carseat and out of the car (even out of a high four-wheel-drive), walking anywhere, turning book pages, doing her teeth... everything.

She is a chatterbox. She has so many words in her vocabulary that I have no idea how many words she can say. She'll repeat everything and anything, attempting even the toughest sounding words. It's a rare moment that she isn't talking - and we love hearing what she has to say.

She is determined. She will try things over and over again, until she gets it. She knows what she wants and she doesn't give up easily.

She is clever. We're constantly surprised by the things she notices and remembers. We are always amazed by the things she can do.

She is outgoing. There is nothing shy about our Abbey. She will approach anyone, talk to anyone. She is sure that everyone loves her - and why wouldn't they? - and will approach them with such certainty that I am in awe of her confidence.

She is a character. So full of life, of fun, of personality and quirky little moments. She lights up our lives.

Our little Abbey has always been amazing. And this has never been more true than Abbey at two years old.

Happy birthday, my little darling.


Megan Mum

What Should Be A Non-Issue

I've spoken before about my thoughts on this, but the issue has once again raised its ugly head.

I think our fears of childhood obesity have gone too far.

Today, Steve and I took Abbey to her two year check at the Maternal Child Health Centre. All was fine and we were happily bragging talking about Abbey's progress with the nurse. We're lucky enough to have a really lovely Maternal Child Health Nurse who has been really helpful in the past.

She always made us feel good about our parenting and we would be really boosted after a visit to her. Abbey was a big baby, born just shy of 10lb (4.5kg) and putting on lots of weight as a baby. While I was trying to block out comments from some people around me who seemed to be so focused on obesity that they couldn't see the difference between a chubby baby and an actual problem in later childhood, this nurse was always really positive about Abbey's health.

But I was so disappointed today when, after weighing and measuring Abbey and entering the figures into the computer, the nurse began looking at Body Mass Index numbers. She sat down and talked to us about how it was all okay, because Abbey was just within the 'normal' range.

I dismissed what I felt she was insinuating and quickly changed the topic. I looked at my beautiful girl, who is just perfect in every way. I remembered noticing her little ribs through her chest last night when I bathed her, and looking at her still-slightly-chubby arms and legs and feeling thrilled that she still has a few little rolls. I thought about my body image when I was a child, and I felt incredibly sad.

I know that I may be over-reacting - after all, the nurse did talk to us about healthy foods and not giving our child too much 'screen time', and some parents need to be reminded of that stuff. I know that she's just doing her job and trying to help children be given the best start in life - and I fully support that aim.

But, despite that, I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable about having that conversation. Perhaps it's because I had the knowledge of Abbey's lifestyle (eating healthily and a maximum of half an hour 'screen time' each day - during which time she stands and dances, rather than sit down!).

Or perhaps it's because a healthy two-year-old should not have to be the subject of such an analysis.


Megan

Countdown To The Big 2: The Last Minute

With just one DAY until Abbey's second birthday, it's time to get serious. We've talked about her turning two, the party food and the goody bags (for her party on Saturday) but, as with everything, no matter how organised I feel there are always a heap of last minute things to do.

Here's where I'm at:

The presents are bought and wrapped!

The goody bags are all put together (except for the homemade cookies).

The flowers are ordered (I haven't told you the theme yet though, so I can't tell you why!).

I'll be on a baking, decorating and cleaning frenzy for the next two days before the party (why oh why do we feel it necessary to clean before a party?!) and quietly freaking out that the weather is so terrible that we have to have 16 kids and 30 adults inside. (That is, unless you follow me on Twitter and Facebook where I may be freaking out about a little more loudly.)

I think I may also add 'purchase 30 pairs of ear plugs' to my to-do list.


Megan

Really

I wrote this a few weeks ago but didn't want to post it. But, after talking about it with some friends, I thought it would be good to share it. To show you all that life here isn't always perfect...

I recently wrote about all the things I do (here) and how I manage to achieve everything I want to in a day.

Now, it's time to tell you the other side of the story.

That is, it doesn't always work.

There are great days, wonderful weeks, where everything falls into place like clockwork. They are the times I love, the days I fall asleep happy at the thought of everything I have achieved.

Then there are times like I've been having this week.

I'm tired.

My brain is in overdrive, not with wonderful, inspiring, coherent thoughts. No. With random, muddled, frustrating semi-thoughts.

The house is a mess. There is stuff everywhere. The floors are dirty. The washing is piling up.

I haven't cooked in days. Lucky I have a husband who enjoys cooking and has made sure meals are on the table.

And writing? Work? Well, it's getting done. Slowly. I'm not very productive when my befuddled thoughts get in the way.

Why? Why do I have weeks like this?

Is it because I'm getting less help with Abbey? Is it because she's sick or clingy or grumpy? Maybe because of some other outside factor?

No.

I've come to realise that it's just me. I do this to myself. It comes from all the pressure I put on myself.

No one else is pressuring me. Not one person in my life is being demanding or pushing me for more.

It's just me. I'm overwhelmed by my own expectations.

And it takes a lot to overwhelm me.

I'll get over it soon and be back to my usual happy self. But there's the truth for you - how do I do it? Well, I don't always.


Megan

Renovations: Days Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty And Twenty-One

I have four days to catch up on, because late last week was rather uneventful... unless you're interested in hearing about Melbourne's shocking weather.

No? Okay, let's press on...

After working out the back while waiting for the roof trusses to arrive, the builders have been able to continue with the extension.

I now know what roof trusses and fascia boards are:

In other roof news, we made a decision about the roofing material (the builders asked us about tiles or colourbond). And the answer is... a whole new roof for the entire house! In colourbond!

Now comes the decision about colour...


Megan

Melbourne Writers Festival

When I saw the program for the Melbourne Writers Festival, I was in awe - so many great workshops and seminars, so many authors I'd love to hear present their topics.

Then reality hit and, with limited toddler-free time at my disposal and a number of other commitments, I knew I had to choose wisely. I also wanted to select events that would relate to my dream of writing for children.

I ended up at two events over the last weekend of the Festival: a three-hour fiction workshop on the Saturday and a one-hour seminar on the Sunday. Here's how they went:

Saturday: The fictional character development workshop was held at the Wheeler Centre in Melbourne's CBD. Housed in a renovated wing of the State Library of Victoria, a beautiful nineteenth century building with a rich history, the Wheeler Centre is the new hub of writing for Melburnians.

I found myself in a small room on the fourth floor with fifteen other attendees and, with all the discussion of conflict with characters, I couldn't help but ponder the confusion of the setting we were in. Here was a grand old structure, with ornate design and stunning detail, fitted out with the ultimate in modern detail. With its nineteenth century origins combined with twenty-first century lighting, lifts and resources, it was the perfect place to sit and discuss conflict.

Led by Scottish author Louise Welsh, the workshop was an insightful, hands-on, three-hour discussion between a number of writers and aspiring writers. Each one of us was so completely different in our ideas, aspirations and writing styles that it made for an interesting session.

There is something amazingly refreshing and inspiring about being in a roomful of people so passionate about what they do, sharing character sketches that open your mind to different ways of approaching your own fiction.

It's also very liberating reading your own work aloud to a group of strangers - a daunting task for someone like me doing such a thing for the first time, until I realised that everyone else was feeling the same way.

Sunday: Australian authors Steve Toltz, Angelo Loukakis and Rebecca James were the presenters of this one-hour discussion about building suspense and revealing secrets within a novel. Having never read any of Toltz's or Loukakis's work, I was particularly looking forward to hearing from Rebecca James, whose hugely successful first novel was one I really enjoyed (you can read my review of Beautiful Malice here).

Rebecca was funny, engaging and honest and I loved her admission of a lack of planning with her book, instead just writing and seeing what came out.

Toltz and Loukakis had entirely different perspectives and, interestingly, both choose to write long hand rather than on a computer, talking about the ways in which one's thinking can change depending on their method of writing and the setting they are in.

This session was held in a cinema - a place that provides its own feel of intrigue and suspense - at Federation Square.

I'm already hoping to be able to set aside more time next year to attend more events. This fantastic Festival really does have so much to offer writers and book-lovers, and there are countless inspiring people sharing their talent.


Megan

Father's Day

In this house, we don't celebrate Father's Day or Mother's Day.

Steve and I visit our own parents and buy them gifts for each of those days - that's just what we've always done. But when we became parents ourselves, we opted to ignore Father's Day and Mother's Day.

Why?

Firstly, because Abbey is too young to know about it. It just seemed another reason to buy each other presents rather than it having anything to do with our daughter (although I have to admit, I have in the past bought Abbey presents for Father's Day - a cute t-shirt and a book about daddies!). When Abbey's older, if she chooses to make a small gift for us or do something on either of those days, that will be great. If not, that's great too. Either way, we won't expect, or want, expensive presents or a big deal made about it.

Secondly, we didn't feel like we needed a set day for it (whatever 'it' is that we're supposed to do on Father's Day and Mother's Day - I'm not really sure). It just feels a little contrived.

So, today, here's what we'll be doing: Steve will visit his parents, with Abbey, this morning while I'm at a quick seminar at the Melbourne Writers Festival. Then we're all heading to my brother's house this afternoon to catch up with his family, perhaps our other siblings and our parents. It'll be lovely, but it doesn't have to be Father's Day to be that way.


Megan

Word Of The Week

Abbey's Word of the Week this week is...

No adjective
Pronunciation: No
Used to give a negative response; expressing disagreement or contradiction.
That's correct - it's been one of those weeks. The word 'no' has made an appearance in Abbey's vocabulary. Previously it was a cute little 'noo-noo-nooo-nooo' used occasionally, but now it's a clear 'NO' (said in a whiny kind of voice) used at any opportunity. Even when she agrees with something she has enjoyed the power of the word 'no', said while she goes ahead and does whatever was requested.
Here's hoping the word is used less in this house next week.


Megan

Photo Friday

Welcome to Photo Friday, where I share with you a photo from my week - an excuse to get my camera out and have a play.

This week, it's as though Abbey knows winter should be nearing an end. At least, her toes are telling her so. Every time I put socks or shoes on her feet, she pulls them straight off - her toes want to be free. So we played outside barefoot.

This photo is of Abbey and our dog, Taylor (I've talked about the two of them becoming friends here).

Here is a typical day in our backyard - Abbey wandering around, stopping to smell the flowers (you can see this little chair that a friend cut for her from a gum tree log in this post), Taylor always close by...

I didn't do much to this photo - no cropping (although I broke the rules with last week's photo, I do like to frame a shot well rather than cropping it) or dramatic adjustments. I just increased the exposure ever so slightly - and that's it.

Do you have a photo to share today? Leave a link in the comments!


Megan

My Story - One Woman's Experience With Breast Cancer

The - and I'm already stuck for words here. Do I say shock? Fright? Dread? Horror? - whatever it may be, of cancer has hit my family too many times. None of them are my stories to tell, so today I'm handing my blog over to the most amazing, influential woman in my life, to tell her story. A mother of four, grandmother of five and three-quarters, wife, pharmacist, cancer survivor; here's my Mum...

This story begins nearly sixteen years ago. Heading off to the GP for the necessary pap smear and breast examination. All was fine until the doctor found a lump in the left breast. (I hadn’t felt the lump myself, even though I had developed the habit of a regular self examination, having known two young women in their 30’s with this dreaded disease.)

So off to a specialist for a mammogram and then a biopsy of said lump. “No worries” was my whole attitude. No history of this in my family and, at 45 years old, I had every expectation that all would be well. And it was - all the tests showed a benign lump. Good - on with things! With four children, ranging from a 21 year-old son trying to find his feet in an adult world, two teenage daughters in high school and the baby of the family just starting kindergarten, I was far too busy to worry.

For a few months anyway. Six months went by, and I became increasingly nervous about the lump. I had no changes but wanted to remove it out of my breast and out of my life.

So, it was off to hospital for this procedure, with everyone on track for Mum to be home that evening and life to go on as before.

Picture this then - coming out of the anaesthetic, the most severe nausea, specialist leaning over me and the unimaginable words: “There’s a problem. The lump is malignant. You’ll have a week to decide whether to have a mastectomy or a lumpectomy". Then leaving me to lie there in the recovery room, having assured me this was no mistake - he had the right woman. I was left to the nursing staff, who were so busy trying to settle my nausea that no-one told me why my husband wasn't there to share this. (I later found that his mobile phone was out of range and the doctor couldn’t wait any longer.)

Finally my husband came in and many tears were shed by us both. Reassuring each other that it would work out fine, he went off to organise my discharge and get me home.

To this day, I don’t know how he managed to tell our three older children and ring my parents and his, and brothers and sisters as well. Somehow he did, finding the strength to deal with it all while I put myself to bed, still feeling that this was a nightmare and I would wake up and find all was normal.

After a visit to the doctor a few days later, I found that if I had the lumpectomy, then I would need a course of radiotherapy to ensure that no malignant cells were missed.

Surprisingly, I made my decision quite quickly - and it HAD to be MY decision entirely. I knew that radiotherapy has lots of potential adverse effects, and really didn’t want to put myself (or the family) through that. Also, I was very nervous of the very small risk of a lumpectomy and subsequent treatments missing rogue cells, and the cancer rearing its ugly self elsewhere, so I decided to have a full mastectomy.

A week later, there I am with bandages over where my left breast used to be.

All my family were amazing - so positive and supportive. I didn’t allow myself to ponder the future (I can be a bit of an ostrich about unpleasant things!).

Then the long road to recovery - and I was one of the lucky ones. There was no spread into the surrounding tissues or into the lymph nodes. Fantastic! Though taking Tamoxifen every day for five years was a pain, and the regular checkups that are now annual events and no longer feared as once they were, are a further reminder of my blessings.

All this was fifteen and a half years ago - for a few years, every ache and pain brought the fear - is it cancer? - but gradually that fear has gone. And I have trouble sometimes remembering how long ago this all happened.

I’ve never wanted to undergo the risks of further surgery to have a new breast. And the scar on my chest - when I take any notice at all - serves as a reminder of how very lucky I am and how blessed in my husband and children. And that I’m here to love all of them and my wonderful grandchildren (five of them and number six nearly here!).

Thanks Mum. Love you.

A reminder to all women to check regularly for lumps. Read here for more information about when and how.


Megan