The Challenge of a Lifetime

The more I write, the more respect I have for writers (and I had a lot of respect to begin with).

It's a tough job, full of ups and downs, battling your own self-confidence and pushing yourself beyond the limits you thought were there.

I knew it would be hard. As crazy as it sounds, that's one of the reasons I wanted to do it. See, I've done everything in life pretty easily; the challenges have been small. Sometimes I think I could have lived most of my life with my eyes shut, just on auto-pilot. I wanted - needed - something big, to prove that I have it in me to push myself.

For me, having spent just over a year writing, there have been a lot of wins so far. With my first manuscript, for example, I had another author asking to be part of it, even before it was written. That same manuscript has received some encouraging feedback and is currently being considered by a publisher.

I've had some wonderful successes with my blog: having people read it (!) and relate, being included in Kidspot's Top 50, receiving wonderful comments and opening up the chance to meet lots of different people. Being asked to speak at the Aussie Bloggers' Conference next month is a definite highlight, and there are more doors and opportunities opening as we speak.

A short story I wrote has been accepted in an anthology for charity, and I've had many articles accepted for publication.

Can you tell I'm trying to remind myself of these highs?

Sometimes, when you have a low, you need to do that. Really, I've had a wonderful first year of writing, and I need to remind myself of that during these times.

I took a bit of a blow recently. My second manuscript, my first attempt at a novel (for children), received some criticism that wasn't exactly glowing. Not all negative, but not great either. And spending the best part of a year writing something, only to be told that it still isn't good enough, makes you feel very low. The best word I could use is... weary. I just felt over it.

But as much as it felt like it, this isn't a step back. Anything that teaches me more about the craft of writing is a good thing.

And so I shall persist. I shall wallow for a small period of time, and then forget about it for a while before I can return to that project with less emotion. I'll work on other things and continue to put myself and my work out there so that I can learn from others, and become better and better.

I'll push past the nagging voice in my head that says, 'Give up. You're no good.'

This is the challenge I always needed, and I'm up for it.