Ask me as a child what I wanted from life, and I would have said 'everything'. Ask me as a teenager and I would have been a little more specific: 'career, travel and settle down later on'. Ask me in my early twenties and I would have laid it all out: 'career, money, travel, house, marriage, children'.
My mantra was I Want It All.
Our grandparents didn't have any option - the men worked and were happy to have a stable job, and the women stayed home and raised the kids. Our parents didn't just change those rules, they burnt the rule book and threw a party to celebrate.
Our parents taught us to want more, to expect more. They told us we could have everything, and they showed us how possible it was.
I have a problem with this mantra though. In every aspect of life, we're taught something entirely different. Look in a toy store and you're told you can choose one thing - you can't have everything. Get a job and you know you can't be the worker AND the boss AND the best friend to all AND work in all departments - you need to choose which field you work in. Play a game and you know you can't be the dealer AND the banker AND a player AND all the other roles.
Then we come to life in general. In a small game, we can't be everything - we all know that. In the mini-life that is an office or a business we know that. But in the biggest game of all - life - we're taught to want it all, to be it all.
It makes no sense. It's impossible, yet we exhaust ourselves trying.
What I want to teach my daughter is this:
♥ Set your sights on some things, do them, and do them well.
♥ Aim high in those things you choose to do.
♥ Work hard to achieve them.
♥ Sometimes it won't work out, and that's okay; it was worth a shot.
♥ Learn from that and set your sights on something else.
♥ And, most important of all, you don't have to be everything to be a success in life.
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8 comments:
I LOVE this, truly very wise words that we should all heed. In fact I think I'll go back for another look and commit them to memory for my own life...
Good one! I like those things you want to teach!
I definitely think that we are spoiled for choice these days. Even for someone like me, who is still trying to figure out exactly what I want, there is just so much to think about.
Unfortunately, all these different options that we're given make us feel like we need to have it all, and consequently, when we fall short (because it is IMPOSSIBLE to give 100% to EVERYTHING) we feel like we've failed.
Those are some great words of advice for you to pass on to Miss Abbey. xxx
Ultimately I think we need to figure out a way to be happy with our lot in life, happy with the choices we make, the things we do, and enjoy every second, rather than worry about what we don't have, haven't done, etc. etc. Maybe then we truly can have it all, if having it all means being happy and at the end being able to say, "Yup, I had it all, and I appreciated it."
I have to disagree with you, or perhaps it's just a matter of semantics. Maybe it is not so much about wanting it all, but about knowing what you want and not being afraid to go for it.
I was brought up thinking I couldn't do very much at all, I couldn't dream big, or dare to be different. It is only lately that I've allowed myself to dream big, to be clear about what I really want and to maybe even believe that I could get there.
I certainly do now want it ALL, that would be just too overwhelming, but I've let my life experiences teach me what I do NOT want and now I am reaching for what I DO want.
I am teaching my kids that they can do and be anything they want, all they have to do is try and work hard for it.
Very thought provoking post, Megan. Thank you..
Your post has given me goosebumps! Love what you want to teach your girl
xx
your little girl is lucky to have such a clever mum! I agree with your sentiment, wanting it all is exhausting and means that you are constantly playing catch up.
I think we do have to learn to be happy with what we have got, and then know how to add a little more and a little more and so on
Gill xo
SO very true and great lessons to teach Abbey and err, me too! :) xxx
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