It's hard not to get sidetracked and turn blogging into a numbers business, rather than a people game.
This week, I was mentioned as one of Blogger's Blogs of Note - pretty cool, really. Except that the after effects are unnerving me a little.
In the last two days, the number of visits to my blog has doubled. The number of followers has doubled. Comments are coming through faster than ever.
But as I notice new visitors looking back over some older posts, I realise once again all the things I've written here. Things that I've never minded people reading - when those people were mostly people I knew or was likely to chat with on Twitter or meet at blogging events.
I know, I'm writing on the internet and I should be aware of this stuff, but it still felt small.
I guess the biggest thing that worries me here is that line between sharing about myself and writing about my daughter. My blog was always intended to be about me, with Abbey only coming into my writing as I talked about parenting. That is, my experiences in parenting rather than her story, her childhood.
It crosses your mind, the whole thing of putting your child up on the internet. It's like sending her out into the world - communities are wonderful and you can trust the great majority of them and you like to look on that positive side. Then there's that big 'but' that hangs in the air.
I want this to remain a space to write, to write whatever, and feel comfortable doing so. I want my blog to have that same small feel, yet still grow with my writing and my profile. I want to keep the same readers, the friends who come here and join in a conversation just as I do on many of their blogs.
Maybe this is just my fifteen minutes of attention and things will calm down soon.
Maybe the answer is to ignore the numbers and just do what I've always done.
This is a bit of a rambling post - sorry about that. I'm not sure if I'm talking more about numbers versus community, or staying true to yourself and your audience, or the big issue of children's privacy. It's all floating around my head at the moment.
Who knew this blogging caper could be so confusing?
PS - to new readers, welcome to the confusion that is my brain! ;)