It's hard not to get sidetracked and turn blogging into a numbers business, rather than a people game.This week, I was mentioned as one of Blogger's Blogs of Note - pretty cool, really. Except that the after effects are unnerving me a little.
In the last two days, the number of visits to my blog has doubled. The number of followers has doubled. Comments are coming through faster than ever.
But as I notice new visitors looking back over some older posts, I realise once again all the things I've written here. Things that I've never minded people reading - when those people were mostly people I knew or was likely to chat with on Twitter or meet at blogging events.
I know, I'm writing on the internet and I should be aware of this stuff, but it still felt small.
I guess the biggest thing that worries me here is that line between sharing about myself and writing about my daughter. My blog was always intended to be about me, with Abbey only coming into my writing as I talked about parenting. That is, my experiences in parenting rather than her story, her childhood.
It crosses your mind, the whole thing of putting your child up on the internet. It's like sending her out into the world - communities are wonderful and you can trust the great majority of them and you like to look on that positive side. Then there's that big 'but' that hangs in the air.
I want this to remain a space to write, to write whatever, and feel comfortable doing so. I want my blog to have that same small feel, yet still grow with my writing and my profile. I want to keep the same readers, the friends who come here and join in a conversation just as I do on many of their blogs.
Maybe this is just my fifteen minutes of attention and things will calm down soon.
Maybe the answer is to ignore the numbers and just do what I've always done.
This is a bit of a rambling post - sorry about that. I'm not sure if I'm talking more about numbers versus community, or staying true to yourself and your audience, or the big issue of children's privacy. It's all floating around my head at the moment.
Who knew this blogging caper could be so confusing?
PS - to new readers, welcome to the confusion that is my brain! ;)
47 comments:
I started a newspaper column about being pregnant, which turned into a newspaper column about Ella, which turned into a blog about both girls. Now there's no going back.
At this age it's not affecting them, but I do question what will happen years down the track. I think it's hard to write a personal blog without them, but I'm also conscious of revealing locations, telling people when I'm not home, that sort of thing.
The numbers thing you just have to block out, or it can start to affect your writing. I learnt that a long time ago.
Sorry, this answer is definitely rambly! Ha! :)
I am very new to the world of blogging but for the reasons you have listed are the ones that helped me decide to be very vague in my information. I have every intention to reveal true fact about my past, present and future but I'm hoping that this will also help people be more honest with the issues I am facing.
I have 8 beautiful children, a great husband and what appears to be a wonderful life but yet something is missing. My journey through this is to discover that link and find my true self. Wish me luck:)
Hope you can relax again soon. xx
Congratulations on the BON. I understand your apprehension and stress about it. It suddenly elevates the pressure doesn't it? All those bloggers that I know who have been BON'd say the same. Now what do I do? Do I write for entertainment value or do I write for myself. I say write what makes you happy. This isn't about how many followers you have. This is about you writing what nourishes you from the inside. Earlier this year I was nominated for 2 Canadian Weblog awards and although I won't know until January whether i won in any category, I took it in stride. Heck yes I was excited..and then I remembered that I write for myself. And the person coming to read it, the intention is always to make some sort of difference. Period.
I just found you today thanks to BON so that's one + to being in the spotlight. :)
Beautiful entry, there, I like how you get so personal and I hope you have a wonderful summer with your daughter.
I don't think that you are wrong for thinking this way at all. i do think though that anyone with a blog or who even just posts stuff on the internet PERIOD should be aware that once it's on the internet, it's there for good. you should always only say/do what you feel comfortable with on here.
xo dana
thewonderforest.com
I think what Yvette from Happy Child said rings forever in my mind (this won't be quoted verbatim): "If you're not comfortable having it up on a billboard on a busy road, don't put it online."
When I wrote in the beginning, I didn't really think about 'strangers' coming to read my blog. I honestly thought it would be more my friends, mums from school and family that would read it.
There are a few posts that I have deleted from my blog recently. Because I mentioned other people (not in a nasty way or anything) that I realised perhaps I shouldn't have, and one friend got a little upset about something I wrote a loooong time ago (she only recently discovered it) - and rightly so when I read it back. Also, I'm a lot more thoughtful about what I post about the boys these days. I wrote one post about the 9yo some time back that I deleted, because I suddenly imagined mums from school reading it, maybe mentioning it around their kids, the kids then teasing him. He doesn't need that. I want to be 'real' on my blog, but everything has to be posted within reason.
I'll be honest, I'm glad I don't post pics of my kids (esp after hearing Misc Mum's story at ABC), but firstly - I'm ultra paranoid about privacy, and secondly it prob wouldn't be a big deal, to be honest. And I can't think of anything you've posted that I think you should delete. I really can't.
Just post within your own comfort zone, and don't worry about the numbers.
And remember the billboard analogy.
:)
xxx
I have had a few moments of concern and I am the very opposite of private!! I haven't been blogging long and I do it for me so I am pretty OK with people reading it and I decided to use photos of my kids because they are already on their preschool/daycare website, my facebook and the facebook page of the pre-school/daycare, and as my blog is about me, parenting and they are in my life (LOL!) they are included.
I am one who started following this week, but I've been reading for a while off and on!
I noticed your followers jump up. Firstly, yay you!!! That is awesome news. But I totally get your fears as well. You can tell by reading your posts you love to write. Just focus on that I think and see what happens. You'll probably make loads of new twitter friends. (I'm actually a little embarassed about some of my early posts - but it's me - worts and all). Again Yay you :O) Caz
In the words of my all time hero Oprah, just surrender, and trust the process. This is a honour and you should be blessed that your wonderful writing now is reaching many more people. Enjoy the ride!
Hi Megan, many congratualations to you for your been featured on the July's Blogs of Note.
A friend of mine has been blogging for ten years and about a year ago decided to begin referring to her children by nickname rather than first name. I thought that was a good solution, allowing her to continue writing about them but preserving some anonymity. It's a solution that also makes her children un-Google-able, should a friend search for them down the road.
http://sintelligently.blogspot.com/
Congratulations :) you have very nice blog :)
Oh wow congrats megan this is awesome! I love reading you, keep at it :)
i can understand you, I started a blog just amontgh ago and talked a lot with my husband about the topic. I just talk about my son just baout my son and do not talk about things he does.
Hey fo r me it was hard enough when my parents did show my friends awful photos from me and repeat the same , when Katharina storys.
I do not think that we have to decide when the first time is our kids are topic of the Internet.
Greetings from germany
I have been watching your followers go through the roof and thinking just this very thing. Must be a strange feeling? I know what you are saying here. But exposure for YOUR writing is a good thing. I am very pleased more people will now get to read what you have to say.
Gill xo
You're a cool blogging mom that's what I say. I'm just started my very first blog here on blogger recently and this post of yours made me realize something - that your blog is something you just want to do for yourself and the people you care for. It's not really about having great number of readers, you just wanted to share your thoughts and experience with somebody who can relate to you and in turn, share theirs to you... Great post!
When I began, I thought I wanted the numbers. But then it freaked me out when I got comments from strangers.
I'm with you - I like to know who I'm talking to, and I can understand why this would be unsettling.
But as Gill says, I think it's wonderful exposure for a wonderful writer and you deserve your time in the spotlight. :)
Oh gee,
I just noticed you google follower widget, wow.
And all these comments from people I have never seen, I can imagine how you are feeling.
My blog was always just our little family, to share with family and friends and it has grown to be posts I share with the blogging community.
As Popps is getting older I think I would post less about her, pre school is a little different, kind of because all babies really do the same thing, toilet train, start kinder, do play doh, but by primary they are significant personalities, who can read what you write.
I am rambling too. I thought you BON was truly great, in some weird way I hope I never get one, think I would be too frightened to write anymore.
Yes, I'll admit I was one of the many who recently started following you but this is an amazing blog. I'm so interested about most of the things you write about, and I enjoy your writing style. It's nice to see so many similarities with language between you and I and I'm sure to read it all eventually. Thank you for inspring me! :) Oh, did I mention that I'm only fifteen?
I recently began blogging - my husband moved to another state, out of necessity, for work. I've stayed behind with our kids. We are now maintaining our relationship as a long distant couple. I write. I tell stories.
Interestingly, I saw your blog on the BON list and decided to follow because you too are a mom.
Ironically, I just returned to your site to try to figure out how you've gotten so many followers - and what do you know? ... You are expressing your feelings about that exact subject. I say, just write. Entertain those wishing to read. Kudos to you.
And I see you got a spammer, too.. ;-)
Congratulations! I hope it turns into longer term gains and helps you achieve your goals...
To new readers : welcome to the wonderful world and words of Megan!
Well done on being a Blog of Note, Megan. That's wonderful to be recognised. I know exactly what you mean though... my traffic has grown steadily and every now and then it freaks me out a little bit. But then, nothing has really changed. It's still public, it was always public.
You deserve to have lots of readers, it's as simple as that. x
Is this a wonderful world or what? A blog of note from Down Under is making huge waves Up Above. The world is just one big happy globe filled with people connecting around it in a huge group hug.
Bravo for squeezing that hug a little tighter.
It is unsettling when suddenly you see a bunch of new people reading and then possibly judging what you write. I say just go with it, keep doing what you do!
Hey there,
Congratulations on becoming a featured blogger. :)
Hopefully one day soon all us newbies will get their chance to get some decent traffic.
I like how your blog looks, what particular format are you using?
http://blitzkriegdating.blogspot.com/
Perfectly reasonable response. Your blog is worth reading, and provided you keep control over it (and Abbey, too), you've nothing to worry about. Just you keep on writing: it's a release for us folks to be able to follow your blogs and read, and make comments on them (hopefully, helpful and worthwhile!). Cheers. Isobel
I'm a newbie to your blog, and I'm really enjoying what I'm reading. I don't have many people reading my blog now...and I expect I would feel the same way if all of a sudden a flurry of new readers appeared.
Just keep doing what you're doing...that's why I decided to read :)
www.adayinmyheels.com
Your concern about your child's privacy is understandable.
You need to be more careful henceforth.
www.moversndshakers.blogspot.com
Congrats on being featured in the 'Blogs of Note'. Your blog is so natural and fun. Hope you will not be so dazzled and find positivty in what you want to accomplish.
Keep it up and good luck in finding the answers :)
I understand your concerns about your personal information and all this hoopla...maybe the doubled numbers will stay up there, and maybe--as you said--it will die down in a little while. That being said, I think you are the best judge as to how much to put up here; it's your blog, your life, your rules. :)
I will admit, I'm one of the "doublers" who saw you on the "blogs of note"....perhaps it's shallow of me, but I saw the layout of your blog and immediately decided to keep up on this, even before reading anything!
And after reading some stuff...cool blog :)
Congratulations. You have a wonderful blog....fun, interesting, and a delight to read. I understand the feeling about putting yourself out there to the world...somewhat exciting and somewhat unnerving. One of the fascinating things about living in the world of blogging. :)
¡¡Tu préstamo en solo 48 horas!! ,el mejor prestamo personal,credito personal o prendario e hipotecas de la manera más comoda, fácil y segura. En sólo 3 minutos podes obtenér tu crédito sin garantía. Respondemos todas nuestras solicitudes de prestamos personales en 24 hs hábiles.
Just dropped by. But keep up the good works.
Congratulations on the BON...I started blogging for the exact opposite reason. I want folks to read what I write (and not just my dh or my Mum or my bff). And while I am working to get noticed, I thought that blogging would be a way to allow people to see a glimpse of who am I and what I am about. After years of hiring people and then running my own business and "interviewing" clients, I think of blogging as a way for people to see who I am and what I am about, and to get an idea of what goes into my writing.
Keep up the great work.
I am your newest follower.
Kim
I have often had the same misgivings you shared while writing my blog about the reality of life after masatectomies due to breast cancer. Public revelations of such intimate details of my life have been justified by thoughts that I could help some one. The blog is a chance for brutally honest conversations about each of our realities and perhaps a launching point to explore nonconforming opinions about current cultural expectations(i.e. reconstructive surgery). It is my sincerest hope that others are encouraged, inspired, emboldened and less lonely by reading our blogs. If some one feels less alone in their difficulty, be it parenting or breast cancer, because we offered up our stories, that is a very good thing. I think blogging can be the modern re-invention of neighbors drinking coffee in eachother's kitchen. It is generous of you to invite us into your kitchen!
I am new to blogging. I started it because I found this an easier way to express and it is something that is truly mine. Also I hope to improve my vocab!
I loved this article of yours. You portray your emotions lucidly.
Already inspired, I look forward to reading your posts.
Your Latest Follower,
Rachit
Funny. I'm pretty new to the blogging world too. When I first began writing, it was to tell the story of my horrific divorce and get it all out of my head and off my chest. Then when I realized people were reading, I went back and edited my kid's names out of all of it. I also changed my Ex's name for good measure. Now, I love when I see that my numbers are up. When I get positive feedback on my stories it can truly brighten my day. In my current living situation, a compliment from an old friend, or a new reader can be all it takes to put a smile on my face. I very much enjoy your blog so far and look forward to reading more. If you're at all interested, my blog is: http://hereallyatecrackersinbed.blogspot.com/
"Maybe the answer is to ignore the numbers and just do what I've always done." I think that's what I would do.
Best regards,
Mark.
Oh Megan, I understand this totally. Be true to yourself, no matter what (and if necessary, put the posts that are too personal back to 'draft' so only you can visit them.)
Blogging is so much more than just numbers.
xx
I've literally just started to blog and I can't get it out of my head that I'm writing to an audience. The fact that you write so freely is probably why your writing is such a good read!
"PS - to new readers, welcome to the confusion that is my brain! ;)"
I'm also a new reader and found your blog through blog of notes. Actually blogging like any other things have its own downside and advantages. Yeah, we could write what we want, what we feel and tell the world all our ideas, but in doing so, we are also giving out our own privacy to others. Anyway, your blog had been a help especially to those parents and individuals who could relate to your experiences, just like it did to me.
Cheers,
Cathy@littman stethoscope
So am I allowed to read? I'm fifteen and new to blogging completely and quite enjoy the rants and opinions that I've read so far. In a word I'd say you were brilliant and hope that you continue blogging the way you feel appropriate.
TTFN!
I know what you mean. I write a small blog (just started about a month ago). I decided to put a link on my Facebook page and suddenly I had alot more readers. I was intimidated because now I would be writing for people I haven't seen in twenty years who might be judging what I write or what I am doing now. Things have calmed down a bit, and I have decided to write for a sympathetic(empathetic?) audience. It's a freeing feeling.
I like the truth in what you wrote...although I'm a small-time blogger (82-ish followers), when I started my blog, I made sure I never mentioned my kids' names or anything specific about my family. I don't know if there is a *true* focus on my bloggy, but it's just fun. AND I am trying really hard not to focus on the newness of new followers or the loss of some or of people who don't follow back. In other words, I'm trying really hard not to worry about the numbers...really just want to get to 100 so that I can be on book tours...
Still lovin' your bloggy! (Um, sorry for my own rambling just now!)
First and foremost I love that you wrote "welcome to the confusion that is my brain!". I am brand new as in just a few days into this blogging adventure and am still not sure how to do it, but know that I want to. I love your blog!! I love that you share what's on your mind and in your life, for me it reminds me that despite what's going on in the world there still can be a community feeling even if it is via the web.
Post a Comment