Monday, August 29, 2011
A person you haven’t met before, or perhaps who you’ve met but haven’t spoken to for a while - what do you do?
Are you one to approach them and say hello, or do you stand back and wait for them to make the first move?
I’ve been called a ‘snob’ many times in my life for doing the latter. That happens to people who tend towards the shy end of the spectrum. You watch from the sidelines, agonising over whether to say hi, wondering if you’ll be ridiculed, hoping they haven’t noticed you.
Meanwhile, the other person is often doing something similar. They have their own insecurities, and think you consider yourself too good to speak to them. The balance of power is ultimately taken by the one who makes that first move. The one who is seen as confident enough to walk up and put themselves on the line.
These days, I’m much more at that socially confident end of the spectrum, unless I feel REALLY unnerved by someone. I sometimes need reminding now, that others aren’t always comfortable doing the same.
I find myself labelling people as ‘rude’ when they don’t say hi – but I shouldn’t make such assumptions.
Are you a first-move-maker or a bystander?
Posted at 7:43 PM