Yesterday morning I published a blog post. Usually once a post is up, I put links on Twitter and Facebook and read comments during the day. Simple.
Not this time. In fact, this particular post only stayed on my blog for half an hour.
The post was about my self-confidence, or lack thereof when it comes to job interviews. Never comfortable with blaming others I felt I needed to think more about what I was doing wrong. Two comments on that post came in and Ihad a panic attack realised why I shouldn't have published it.
See, there's a difference between taking responsibility for the part you play in something, and completely blaming yourself for everything. I'm very, very good at the latter. If there was a job in that, I'd be considered the worldwide expert, I'm sure of it.
I listed the things I think are reasons I haven't got a job this year - there were several of them, some my fault and some on the side of the interviewers. To blame just one of those things is silly and dismissive.
Not this time. In fact, this particular post only stayed on my blog for half an hour.
The post was about my self-confidence, or lack thereof when it comes to job interviews. Never comfortable with blaming others I felt I needed to think more about what I was doing wrong. Two comments on that post came in and I
See, there's a difference between taking responsibility for the part you play in something, and completely blaming yourself for everything. I'm very, very good at the latter. If there was a job in that, I'd be considered the worldwide expert, I'm sure of it.
I listed the things I think are reasons I haven't got a job this year - there were several of them, some my fault and some on the side of the interviewers. To blame just one of those things is silly and dismissive.
To make all these things public makes me feel stupid, and that's the reason I removed yesterday's post. I wrote it hoping others would relate - and some contacted me to say they'd read it and could relate, which was wonderful - but sometimes this whole 'putting myself out there' thing is hard.
To say no one wants to hire me is not the whole picture, and it gives you this image of me that's far from what I, and the people who know me, would perceive as correct. To say I'm lacking in confidence, or let you in on my internal dialogue during the interview process, makes me sound like a blundering mess. Which I'musually not.
To say no one wants to hire me is not the whole picture, and it gives you this image of me that's far from what I, and the people who know me, would perceive as correct. To say I'm lacking in confidence, or let you in on my internal dialogue during the interview process, makes me sound like a blundering mess. Which I'm
With my friends and family, I laugh at myself. I make my mistakes sound funny - here, though, they can come across as overly serious and self-pitying.
Yesterday's post made me realise something - I need to take action. It's time to move on from my mistakes, stop being dismissive and talking myself down, give myself a pep talk and get over myself.
I am an intelligent, educated, skilled person with a lot to offer. Look out world.
(Now, please excuse me while I play some 80s power ballads, about living life and being awesome, really loudly and sing at the top of my voice...)
(Now, please excuse me while I play some 80s power ballads, about living life and being awesome, really loudly and sing at the top of my voice...)
24 comments:
Phew, I'm glad I got in quick today, because I missed yesterday.
Good luck with the hunt. I mean, good luck to the hunted, not to you of course, you're awesome.
Missed the original post but so relate to today's! Give youorself a break - you are brilliant!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsnYrH3BUP8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JRgHol94Xc
There's really noone better.
You go girl!
Rock on, sista! We all need to let a little go every once in a while. That's why there's always a delete button. ;)
Write that last line 100 times before your next interview.
Funnily enough I went to read it because I am on the same path as you at present, and wallowing in some serious self pity at my lack of success. I feel you, I blame everything on myself and my lack of confidence as well but after a tearful discussion with my husband last night I came to the realisation (with his help) that I too need to be more positive about the process, to own it, to harden up and never give in. So I am with you 100% on this sista! Fingers crossed for us both we see happy endings (if not soon then eventually!) xx
I didn't see the original post, but you go girl. Unleash that amazing, intelligent, creative and in demand person you know you are.
You go girl!
When I realised I needed to get a job, around two years ago, I found myself in a puddle of self-pity, but mainly because I didn't want to work and because I didn't want to go back to the kind of work I did before quitting to have my second child.
I remember giving myself lots of pep talks about all the skills I did have, all the successful interviews I've done, all the positive feedback I've received in the past. All this made me feel more confident about getting a job, I knew my worth and my employability hadn't gone out the window just because I'd been out of the workforce for four years.
The key for me was remembering that all my skills were transferable to any industry, any employer. I even used everything I learnt as a mum to show employers my additional skills and value.
Some jobs are for you and some aren't. Imagine the perfect job for you and aim for that. Put all your effort into that... Good luck!
Do what Claire said, with Eye of The Tiger playing in the background!
Amen, you are awesome!
I know the feeling only too well.
This time 2 weeks ago I thought I'd never get work again, and if I did, that I wouldn't cope. Last week I worked 3 days (I haven't done that for 8 years) and I have 2 days already for next week. My confidence has soared. I can do it. And it will happen for you...when the time is right. Good luck. xx
Since following/reading your blogs, have been impressed with your command of the English language. with that behind you, nothing is totally impossible! Everyone of the comments made are worth reading again (and again): they all contain the truth. But, in the end, it's down to you - and believe me, without even meeting you, really believe you've got what it takes. Just remember, there's a lot of folk in a similar situation, and possibly looking to work in a similar field. How about trying something completely "out of your ambit", but bring ALL your skills (previous work, writing ability, mothering ability etc. et al) and focussing on the new area? Good luck - and let us know how it's going. We're all crossing fingers, getting "prayer mats" etc. out in your favour.
Beautyfull written!!!
Especially this part:
"With my friends and family, I laugh at myself. I make my mistakes sound funny - here, though, they can come across as overly serious and self-pitying.
Yesterday's post made me realise something - I need to take action. It's time to move on from my mistakes, stop being dismissive and talking myself down, give myself a pep talk and get over myself"
Can see myself in that soms times.
Good luck whit that pep talk!!!
Love Marie
Thanks for this post. I missed the previous one you spoke about....but this was well worth the read.
I find myself constantly laugjing and telling things, talking things, posting things about myself to which afterwards I ask myself "is this a good thing?" my husband and I just had a conversation a couple of days ago about this... me talking and laughing about myself
I have made mistakes....and I laugh about them to make me feel better about them i suppose. But I am told that its ok..... we all make mistakes.
I hope your job hunting situation turns around for you. I have not been on many job intervies but i hate them. Hang in there and remember it's easy to get wrapped up in self pity when things are not going the way you want. But have hope and faith, and most of all have confidence in yourself. You can do anything!!!
Your amazing!! and your style is so good! We are rooting for you!!
we are following you pls follow us back!!
www.shervinsworld.com
Why do some of the most brilliant people in the world (i.e. you) have trouble with self-confidence and some of the biggest pillocks strut around with their head up their butt? It is one of life's big conundrums and it annoys me big time. I'm so glad writing it has spurred you on though as you deserve to be hellishly confident. I really liked this post because I have been so struggling with a post about my perceived issues and I just can't publish it... so many do though I suppose they are just braver... I don't know. Thanks for sharing and I hope the right job comes along soon... (they're like husbands really, not many compatible ones out there) Nic xx
I love that you can look at yourself give yourself a stern lecture. I do that from time to time and I always thought I was crazy for talking to myself even if it was self-motivating. Thanks for showing me I am not alone. :)
I read yesterday's post but didn't comment. I'm relieved you deleted it after having a good think. Don't short change yourself. x
I think I know what you mean, I'm glad you can at least realise intellectually that the way you sometimes feel isn't truth. I hope we can all do that sometimes xx
Blah, wrote a lengthy response & it ran away. The main point I want to make is that I think you're awesome & totally trust that the right role for you will come along. I'm thrilled you're focusing on the positive parts of the wonderful person you are. I know I come across the same way you speak of too - earnest in particular. Much love sweetie. Xxxx
Never set boundaries for yourself. You should read "Step on a Crack, Break your Mother's Back" from my blog - reflectionsfromthetail. If you want to live a powerful life, you just have to go for it and BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, no matter what !!
Keep your head up, girl!! There are a lot of people in my life going through the same crisis as you. But I think all you need to do is stay persistant and eventually a job will come along that will make you forget that you ever needed one. I'm rooting for you
Headthinkweekly.blogspot.com
I missed the post, but I think we're all capable of thinking less of ourselves than what we should. We're our own worst critics!
Stay focussed on what you want. You'll get there. :)
My people have a saying: If you can laugh at yourself, you're doing alright.
It's a healthy sign, laughing at one's mistakes, as long as you learn from it.
I really enjoy reading your blog. I learn something new or have something affirmed which helps me keep my balance.
Job hunting is never easy, particularly if you get the sort of interviewer who, for whatever reason, do make job hunters feel worthless. There are some, so just remind yourself that you'd probably not like working at that particular place with HR people like that.
First impressions work both ways.
Oh my gosh! Those shoes!!
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