Wednesday, September 14, 2011
My week in all its honesty
What I want to write is a lighthearted post about something random. What's in my head and my heart is anything but.
It's been a rough week.
What I'm trying to write now is a cryptic hint at sadness, that won't hit you over the head with my problems.
What's at my fingertips is just the truth. My week so far...
The nervous excitement that I might be pregnant - only to find out I'm not. And dreading the likelihood of more doctors' visits, more tests, a change of medication.
Haunted by vivid dreams and fear right now.
Heading into the city for what was meant to be a fun catch up with some blogging friends, ending up in a panic attack as I drove - and having to go straight back home.
Safely back home, sitting on my couch, tears streaming. My husband's words, his beautiful reassurances, soothing me until I fell asleep.
Feeling overwhelmed with everything I've taken on. So tempted to stop everything, and yet so determined to just keep going.
Wondering when this all happened. I used to be stronger than this, I think. And then I remember times like this before, and I realise my strength has always been in pushing through it.
Don't let the fear take over.
And the rest of the week lays ahead of me - friends, family, spending time with my man and our girl.
I'm going to take some time this week to just be. Go for walks. Laugh. Re-read some favourite books. Sleep.
Posted at 8:24 PM