I quit the sugar quit

A confession: I'm off the wagon.

Yep, after all my bleating on about quitting sugar, I'm swallowing my sweet sugary words. In my defense, I did always say it was a trial and that I wanted to incorporate moderation back into my life - so in part I'm still on track. Not a complete hypocrite.

And I've learnt a lot in the last couple of months:

I have a big appetite. Many people say that quitting sugar decreases their appetite and makes them think about food less. Not me. I think I just have a huge appetite regardless!

I haven't experienced any physical changes. I had wondered if eating less sweet stuff would help with a few 'issues', but it hasn't. Worth a shot, though.

I understand my aversion to savouries. Remember when your parents would tell you to eat a meal so that you could have dessert? I've realised I haven't grown up - that's still my way of thinking. I tolerate savouries because I know I should, all the while wanting to get to the good bit. The best thing this last couple of months has taught me is to enjoy my meals more.

Extremes don't work for me. Not with food, anyway. It's got to the point where I can't think of what to eat, so I won't have anything - and not eating enough makes me feel terrible.

I've started feeling deprived. And when you feel deprived, you do weird things. I bought a chocolate bar at a supermarket on the way home one day. Then stopped again and bought another one. A packet of jelly beans another day. This binging is worse for me in a lot of different ways than just eating dessert now and then.

I've never felt guilty about food until recently. I've always had a healthy attitude towards food: if I feel hungry, I'll eat; if I feel like eating something, I will. No guilt, no calory counting, no questions. That has led to me eating more sweets than I probably should make a habit of, but on the whole I eat really well. I'm going back to that approach.

There are other reasons. A lot is going on right now and I feel I'm putting too much pressure on myself. On top of that is being on a medication that messes with my blood sugar levels - and so, if I feel off and need a quick sugar hit to get me through (before having something more sustaining) then I will.

And so I conclude that it was worth a try - and it has taught me a lot about how I eat, my attitude towards food, and it's made me more conscious of what I eat. Which is always a good thing.

Now I just need to remember that moderation is the key. It's what works for me.

Oh, and feel free to say you told me so.