Thursday, November 17, 2011

So? What are you going to do?



I cuddled my girl to sleep tonight and as I did, I opened my eyes. Right there, just millimetres from my face, was her teddy bear. He stared at me with those big inquisitive eyes, and if he could think or talk (which he might be able to; who am I to question that?) he would have been interrogating me: So? What are you going to do?

And if he could think, I don't doubt that he'd first be thinking of Abbey. What are you going to do to make life best for her?

*


When Steve picked Abbey up from childcare today, he told them that she'll be finishing up in a couple of weeks. He told me they were devastated. They love our little girl.

Where once I felt guilty for putting her in there, I now feel guilty that she won't see her friends anymore.

Childcare is odd like that - your kids form relationships with children you don't know, and you can't keep that friendship going because you never see the other parents.

The ladies asked if she'll be back next year, and Steve shrugged. Partly because he didn't want to tell them that it's unlikely. And, I suspect, partly because no one knows what I'll end up doing next year.

*


Twelve years ago, an eighteen-year-old girl left school and went to university, just as she'd always dreamed.

She only lasted one semester. She got impatient and decided Tafe would be quicker, an easier way to get out there earning a living soon. She spent a couple of years studying her dream job: travelling, writing. And when she finished she turned her back on it for a safe corporate job so that she could buy a house and live happily ever after with her man.

For twelve years she's known it, felt it - that there's more out there for her.

*


It's like a rerun of a corny drama show on the telly.

Will she follow her heart and her emotions, or go with her head and the yearning for security?

Everyone knows what they want to see someone do. But do they dare do it themselves?

Or do they just tread their own way and be damned to both the dreamy and the sensible paths?

*


So? What are you going to do?

 
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23 comments:

  1. MelanieNovember 17, 2011 at 8:15 AM

    And isn't that THE question right now......

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  2. Karen @ The Rhythm MethodNovember 17, 2011 at 8:32 AM

    I think you have to tune into yourself, and listen to the beat of that song that makes you want to dance all night. Abbey will grow up knowing that there is value in reaching beyond what is sensible and comfortable.

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  3. Life In A Pink FibroNovember 17, 2011 at 9:09 AM

    Do the thing you love. It will work out. Even if you have to do other things for a while as well. It will work out. Trust me. I can't tell you how much pleasure I get out of telling my boys that I love my work. My one wish for them is that they love theirs as much once they get there.

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  4. Sarah PietrzakNovember 17, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    Do it Megan. You absolutely can xxx

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  5. Mum on the RunNovember 17, 2011 at 9:59 AM

    A fulfilled you is just what your home needs.
    :-)

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  6. LucyNovember 17, 2011 at 4:59 PM

    Megan, I have alwasy done what I can see in my head. If I can create a movie strip - all colour, all moving, of what I want my life to look like, I jump in. It is hard and crazy, but it is without regret.

    xx

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  7. zoeNovember 17, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    Wow, so so many similarities and anxieties. If you don't try there will always be that 'what if', but it's a brave path I've not yet stepped onto myself. Mum On The Run puts it perfectly. X

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  8. Megan BlandfordNovember 17, 2011 at 7:46 PM

    Oh Karen, I adore your way with words. That line is sticking with me and encouraging me - thank you. xx

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  9. Megan BlandfordNovember 17, 2011 at 7:48 PM

    Thanks Al - I'm such an all or nothing sort that I do struggle to get my head around doing both for a while, but it's what I'll probably have to keep doing for a while longer. I often feel a bit selfish for trying to do something different, but you're so right - being able to tell my girl that you CAN do what you love is so important.

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  10. Megan BlandfordNovember 17, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    Oh, I can SO see it playing out in my head. Thanks for the encouragement Lucy. xxx

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  11. Megan BlandfordNovember 17, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    Very true - thanks for the wise words, as always :)

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  12. Megan BlandfordNovember 17, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    You're a legend. xxx

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  13. Megan BlandfordNovember 17, 2011 at 7:53 PM

    Thanks Zoe :)

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  14. CatNovember 17, 2011 at 8:14 PM

    I have said it before and I will say it a million times more but I truly believe you're destined for huge things lovely. I think life has a way of working itself out the way it should when you make considered decisions that plug into your self awareness (I sound like a hippy!) and I don't know many people who are as self aware as you. I think you're resilient, talented and a wonderful friend to boot. The world should be so lucky to have more like you in it. You don't have to know the answer to all the questions but your inner voice is do clever you'll find yourself doing wonderful things in the future that may match your past dreams or may indeed present you with things that you never know you dreamed

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  15. NaomiNovember 17, 2011 at 10:35 PM

    I'm doing what I want to do, well I'm getting there. :) My hubby is too. And that's what our kids will learn, do what you love, be who your heart tells you.
    It's not all beer and skittles. And in the process it has meant selling the family home we were making and renting. But it's worth it, it's all so worth it.

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  16. MelissaNovember 18, 2011 at 2:13 AM

    Sounds like you and my Hubby are in the same place. I know what I want to do and who I want to be, but he's still struggling to find it for himself. He knows who he is as a father and husband, but as for his job? Its just to make ends meet at the moment and not very fulfilling. Sadly he doesn't know what direction to take or even have any inspiration as to what new to try. I give him all my support, but its something that he has to find on his own.

    I hope you find what you're looking for and follow what makes you happy. And if it doesn't work out? At least you gave it a go and thats one tick in a box.

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  17. caz makepeaceNovember 18, 2011 at 5:27 AM

    Don't think about it. Just 1...2..3 jump into your heart's Passion and what your gut says. The only place truth lives

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  18. Megan BlandfordNovember 20, 2011 at 2:19 AM

    I love that you were able to see your goals so clearly and took the chance. Love it. x

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  19. Megan BlandfordNovember 20, 2011 at 2:19 AM

    Stacks of love to you Cat. Your words mean so much to me. xxx

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  20. Megan BlandfordNovember 20, 2011 at 2:20 AM

    That means a lot coming from you Caz - I really admire your ability to follow your dreams and make it happen. Thanks for the inspiration :)

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  21. Megan BlandfordNovember 20, 2011 at 2:20 AM

    Thanks so much Melissa :)

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  22. I think I sold out… but I’m back.November 21, 2011 at 7:41 AM

    [...] The comments on my post about what I want to do made me think about this too (although that post wasn’t about this issue, the comments about spending your time doing the things you really want to do extend to anything in life) [...]

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  23. Rachel HickingbothamDecember 7, 2011 at 9:41 AM

    There is big stuff out there for us all, we just need to keep moving forward, dreaming big with our heads up. Go for whatever you dream for. My family is so much happier when I am.

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