Friday, November 11, 2011
Today was not good. Today was not fun. Tomorrow is another one.
Remember the other day when I said the 'threenager' attitude was really funny?
Well, today it was not.
Today, she pushed me. Attitude, meltdowns, refusing to listen, demanding things - it was constant all day.
I wanted to click my fingers to turn her back into her usual, wonderful self. I wanted to kick myself for having such stupidly unrealistic expectations that once my working week was over we'd blissfully enjoy each other's company. I really wanted to walk away.
There were so many moments that I didn't know what to do.
I felt out of my depth today. Way out of my depth.
And I'm not proud of how I handled any of it - making her apologise to her swimming teacher (seriously, who does that?), forcing her to sit in the corner (all that does is make us both feel like crap), going home instead of to a friend's house (all that did was make ME miss out on some fun), ignoring her (that really doesn't work), blah blah blah.
I got caught up in this whirlwind of emotional punishment, acting on impulse and anger and doing things before I thought them through. The one thing that I try so hard to avoid in my parenting.
And then, at the end of the day when I felt like all I had no energy left, she threw a balloon to me. I jumped up to catch it. She laughed. She laughed so much that she fell over.
We played with that balloon for half an hour, and we both laughed the whole time.
How I love that kid.
And boy am I glad that tomorrow is a fresh start.
Posted at 8:13 AM