Friday, December 2, 2011

The office



They look boring, all desks and chairs and office doors and partitions. But the inside of an office is anything but.

I love people watching and eavesdropping on conversations, and there's no better place to do that than in an office. Especially as a relative outsider, when everyone around you feels comfortable with each other. That's when the best stuff can be heard.

Like the day one of the girls was bemoaning her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. They'd just found out that the boyfriend had to pay off a loan for the ex - although it took everything I had not to turn around and tell her that her boyfriend was lying to her; of course he knew a loan was in his name. The loan was for the ex-girlfriend's boob job. And the slagging match that followed was, well, hilarious actually.

Then there was the time the men stood around comparing notes in the world's least likely competition: whose wife had been tougher in labour. 'It's all about the epidural, then it was easy,' said one. 'Nah, mate, my missus only needed the gas... and I gave it a go too; it's good stuff!' I watched a third listen in and as he sat back with a smug grin on his face I knew what was coming. He waited for silence and laid down just one word: 'NATURAL.' There was audible shock amongst the men, and it was clear who had won. I honestly never knew it was such a badge of honour to men!

Then my inner HR geek comes out and I listen for all the clues of who's doing well and who's not, all tellings-off and exasperations. I have a keen sense for who's not doing their job well, who will be quitting soon and who won't even have the chance to quit. When someone loses the passion for what they do or where they are, it's glaringly obvious. And it's intriguing stuff.

One man told the girls about his weekend, relaying his activities with his family and finishing with: 'And then I gave my wife a facial'. All the girls were impressed - 'Aw, that's so sweet!' they gushed - but one spoke a little too loudly and some of the other men overheard. Much laughter ensued, and the teasing began: 'You had a facial too! I can tell - look at your skin!' the men jeered.

And being in the office for 'Movember' was odd, too - men that I had thought were nice enough, I suddenly looked at with suspicion during November. I'm sorry, I know it's for a good cause, but those things just look creepy on most men.

Then there was the girl who got a new tattoo over the weekend, showing a photo (it was in a spot she didn't want to share in real life) to everyone. The comparisons started, of course: look at my tattoo, oh I've got one too. I'm ashamed to say I participated in that conversation, upstaging them all with a 'Well, I've paid $1,000 to have my tattoo removed... and it's still there.' I really shouldn't admit to that, actually.

These conversations are the reason I'll miss the office a little bit. I love working from home but I do miss some of that interaction - and eavesdropping.

So next time you think of an office job as boring, remember there's much more going on in there than first meets the eye.

9 comments:

  1. he he he made me giggle...

    I have never worked in an office, but it sounds oddly like the banter in home corner in the 3-5 year old room in child care! LOL

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  2. Some days I long for the quiet of an office job... no mess, no paint, no outside time. Wearing clothes with no paint would be a novelty as would a day of just adult conversation. But I think I'd miss what I do now.

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  3. I've worked in several offices. I always had a sense that the 'powers that be' were very keen for us to become boring cogs in the wheel. But I always gravitated towards the workers with a good sense of black humor and a bit of a rebellious streak and we managed to have some fun and get in a bit of trouble. I was lucky enough to make some good friends who I still catch up with now that I'm no longer working away from home.
    Have you seen 'Office Space'? Classic movie.

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  4. How true Megan. It can be both interesting and suffocating at the same time.

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  5. With all the new open plan offices, I would have a field day listening in on conversations and phone calls!!
    A friend rang me in secret from her office stairwell yesterday!
    :-)

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  6. So funny Megan and as someone who has done a fair bit of temp work I have to agree! So interesting to eavesdrop and place people for their words versus the unspoken words. That social interaction is what I miss about office work. My day job gives me interaction with the (adult) students more than peers and I jump at the chance to attend meetings and morning teas when I can. And I want to know more about this tattoo of yours ... How did I not know that?

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  7. Open plan offices are terrible when you're trying to do something in private - but SO good when you're as nosy as I am!

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  8. Black humour and a rebellious streak? Doesn't sound like you, Clint! ;)

    I haven't seen that movie - will have to look it up!

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  9. Oh Cat, this stupid tattoo! It's a tiny star on my ankle that I had done as soon as I turned 18, the one impulsive thing I've ever really done. No one ever notices, but it bugged me so much I went to the extreme of having laser treatment to remove it. The thing cost $50 to have put there, and wasn't as painful as I thought it would be - but I've spent $1,000 and been in SO much pain trying to have it removed. 10 treatments and it's still there, just a little bit faded - and I'm too scared to go back and ask about it in case I'm tempted to waste anymore money on it!

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