Planning With Kids - you know the blog, now read the book

I first met blogger Nicole Avery at a local blogging meet-up last year. I knew who she was as soon as she walked in the room - the charisma and presence that comes across on her blog was unmistakable in real life.

The second thing I liked about her was that she had thought to make and bring BLTs for everyone, whipping them out just as we all began thinking how hungry we were. (Lifesaver!)

Recently, Nicole was approached by Wright Books to turn the idea of her blog into a book. Lucky woman, you might say. Yes, that's true - but it's also a result of sheer hard work.

And, of course, planning.

Planning With Kids, the blog, was created as a way for Nicole to share tips for making life simpler. The overall theory of the website is to use various ways of organisation - meal planning, rosters for the children to lend a hand around the house, timetables, budgeting and more - to leave more time for parenting and the fun things.

Let's face it - there are day-to-day tasks around the house and in parenting that none of us enjoy terribly much. And so, I tend to agree - and have found from my own experience - that streamlining the mundane things makes life easier. Better.

The book has the same theories behind it, and provides practical tips that have worked for Nicole, her husband and their brood of five children. Age-appropriate tips for children up to twelve (the age of their oldest child) to help around the house, a how-to meal planning guide, and step by step instructions for budgeting and saving are all part of the sections on running the house.

And then there is parenting. While not strictly a 'parenting book', focusing instead on the planning and organisation of family life, there are major parenting considerations when doing this. For example, setting and changing routines, preparing for a new baby, toddler tactics, introducing children to the internet and school readiness.

Finally - but definitely just as importantly - comes a section for You. Making time for yourself and your interests is an important part of being happy in your life, Nicole suggests, and offers tips for making this happen. (We all know how simple it is to 'forget' to schedule time for yourself amongst everything else that a parent must do!)

Along the way, there are tips from other parents - some with one child, others with eight, but all useful, practical suggestions that have worked for different families, sometimes offering a backup to Nicole's words and at other times an alternative approach.

There is more - much more - in this book, and I recommend you check it out. It is not written in a preaching tone and Nicole never pretends to have a perfectly scheduled family or the eternally neat display home, but she does share her experiences in making life as a parent, and as part of a family, better.

But the thing I love about this book the most? Nicole's natural, friendly personality shines through.

Check out Nicole Avery's popular Planning With Kids blog

Buy this book online

Meet Nicole at a book signing!
Sydney - Rouse Hill Fri 3rd June
Brisbane - Chermside Fri 10th June
Melbourne - Southland Sat June 25th

Renovation Update: officially finished

Amongst the big goals in life, we often have mini-goals.

We've had a lot of these throughout our renovation (for newer readers - we undertook a major renovation to our home last year, and you can catch up on that here).

When our builder finished here just before Christmas, the house was not yet complete. For a number of reasons, we chose to finish some rooms ourselves. And so, the building inspector asked me when we would be likely to have the house ready for final inspection. "Before Easter," I replied.

Since then, we've had that aim in mind: to having our Certificate of Final Inspection (also known as the Certificate of Occupancy) by Easter.

A week prior to Easter, we rang the building inspector. "It's finished!" Steve told him. He came, he saw, he approved and he promised that the certificate would be in the mail the following week.

The start of the next week, the week before Easter, I checked the mail excitedly. Nothing. When the Thursday before Good Friday came, I watched the postman drop something into our letterbox. It was one small, unassuming-looking envelope.

It was our Certificate of Final Inspection. We had scraped it in, made our mini-goal of having it before Easter.

And now? Now, the renovation is 'officially' over.

But, as we all know, 'official' and 'unofficial' are two very different things. The building inspector doesn't care, for example, if we have two tiny things missing from a couple of rooms (which I'm awaiting eagerly so I can reveal those rooms to you!), and the paperwork doesn't depend on me having an office to work in (I'm still working at the dining table... and sometimes on the couch). The bank doesn't care if we haven't finished painting, and no one seems to mind if we haven't fully furnished the house yet and can hear the echo of our voices in some rooms.

So, while we may not consider it finished yet, it's nice to reach some of our mini-goals and see progress.

We're getting closer to the end. I think I can, I think I can...

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A Great Easter Break

The Great Ocean Road in Victoria is known as one of the best drives in Australia, if not the world. Its dramatic coastal scenery, wild weather, amazing wildlife and stunning bushland makes for an experience like no other.

Despite it being just a couple of hours drive from our home, we rarely visit this spot. That may change in the future, having been reminded of how Great it is - and having found a couple of perfect camping locations.

Here is our Easter break on the Great Ocean Road...

Check before you send (a community service announcement)

Recently, two things have occurred that I want to highlight to you:

1. My older brother sent a text message to our Mum. This text message was intended for his wife. The error resulted in many frantic phone messages to Mum and I, trying to stop her from reading the message. Funny, yet awkward.
2. My younger brother sent a text message to me. This text message was intended for his girlfriend. Luckily (for all three of us) it was a harmless message and we had a laugh about it. Crisis averted. Just.

Because of these occurrences, I am prompted to send a very grave community service announcement to my readers (other than that my brothers need to be more careful - that message is only of use to two potential readers)...

Check Before You Send!

Not checking before you send can cause embarrassment, awkwardness and a physical condition known as A Red Face. It also results in much teasing and laughter (at you, not with you) and reminders of the occurrence (blog posts, for example) for the rest of your life.

Be warned.

This could happen to you if you don't Check Before You Send.

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How to have a blissful Sunday afternoon

Step 1. Stop painting skirting boards when the pain is threatening to destroy your knees for good.

Step 2. Find a place out in the sunshine. (This spot, Cardinia Dam, is just ten minutes' drive from our home. It is a place where the carpark can be full yet the place is not crowded, where walkers and joggers and cyclists can co-exist harmoniously, where the cheers of 'Hip-hip! Hooray!' can be heard in the distance as a birthday gathering reaches its peak.)

Step 3. Lament over the fact that waterskiing is not allowed here.

Step 4. Once you stop whining about that and coming up with bribery possibilities that might force Melbourne Water to allow waterskiing (just for us, you understand), hold your husband's hand, walk and enjoy the sunshine.

Step 5. Watch your daughter look out over the water, talk about the reflections of clouds in the 'mirror', spot different coloured trees in the distance, collect rocks, watch bugs and... run!

Step 6. Make your way back to the car. This is a very slow process, as said daughter's legs will now be tired and she will insist on walking on your feet.

Step 7. Drive home, promising yourselves to come to this spot more often.

Voila - a blissful Sunday afternoon.

Reach for the treetops

Never stop reaching for the treetops.

And then reach some more.

Things I Know: the toddler edition

Today, for something a little bit different, I thought it would be fun to join in with Yay for Home's Things I Know...

I know that when a toddler is truly exhausted, they will ask to go to sleep. (At least once in their lives, anyway.)

I know that sometimes you need technology-free time. Because when a child sees everyone with their iPhones, she wants to do the same. (And time away from screens is good for the soul.)

I know that on a big outing, a toddler's highlight will be the train ride in. (A lesson: the journey is just as exciting as the destination.)

I know that toddlers embrace life with every inch of their being. (Note to self: be inspired by that energy and enthusiasm.)

I know that toddlers love their family even more than the life they live so hugely. (And this one has lots of them to love!)

I know that I could spend all day playing with my toddler as she throws her arms around me and yells, 'Gotcha!' Yep, you got me.

Finding comfort

As the weather cools, the darkness comes earlier, the bush changes colour and the rain falls, I find myself turning to comfort food.

It's lucky, then, that these days my idea of comfort is vastly different to what it used to be.

In previous years, I've turned to chocolate and cakes and takeaway as my comfort. Now, I'm turning to...

Freshly baked Hot Cross Buns. Turns out the overtly sweet and dense buns in the shops are not how HCBs are meant to be, and discovering the joy of a light, fluffy, truly fresh HCB is something I'm loving. (And the crosses aren't those boring ones made of water and flour - these are made from fresh, buttery pastry. Oh yes.)

Homemade soups and stews - warmth from the inside out, this is the ultimate comfort food for me right now.

A steaming cup of tea - I don't enjoy standard tea or coffee, and rarely indulge in a hot chocolate these days, but a hot cup of peppermint tea is warming and relaxing, and appeals to all the senses.

Plus... a book to reread. Because I don't have a great memory, I can reread books again and again. And again. And still wonder what happens at the end. But picking up a book that I've read before is such a comfort, knowing it will be easy and relatively non-suspenseful.

What do you take comfort in during the cooler months?

What happens when your fears are realised?

I recently wrote (over at Mamamia) about my struggle finding work. In that post, I wrote:

“There is some concern that all you’ve done is stay home for the last two years.”

And, just like that, I’ve been dismissed. Quickly swept aside.

I never expected to be on the receiving end of words like these. In fact, this was once my greatest fear and I took measures to prevent it from happening. At least, I thought that’s what I’d been doing.

That was my greatest fear.

It terrified me.

Do you know how liberating it is to have your big fear realised, and still be okay? To be more than okay - happier than ever?

I feel...

free.

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Me time: sometimes it's a necessity

I was in agony. Every movement hurt. I parked the car, closed my eyes, took a deep breath and looked up.

It was then that I noticed a massage centre had just opened not far from my house. I slowly removed myself from my seat and walked to the door. I saw the 'Closed' sign but I didn't care. I knocked anyway.

The lady saw me, saw my baby bump and the way I was moving and booked me in for that afternoon.

"I need to splurge and do this for myself," I said, half to myself, feeling guilty at the cost and the time. It felt indulgent.

She shook her head. "It's not a luxury; it's a necessity. You have to take care of yourself."

Over the next few months, I saw her every week. Each treatment was painful, but helped me move better for the rest of the week. She gave me exercises and stretches, too, that helped make it more bearable. I'm not sure how I would have got through the pregnancy without her help.

Fast forward more than two and a half years. Two years of making every minute of every day about giving, focusing on someone else before me.

In the depths of my darkness, the phone beeped. A message from a Shiatsu therapist who had worked at the massage centre (now closed), and who I had seen a couple of times.

I rang her straight away. Now, I see her every few weeks.

It is an hour of heaven.

A time to have someone ask me: "How are you?" and really listen to my answer. Someone to help me find ways to make things better - physically, emotionally and nutritionally.

Still, I feel indulgent sometimes. Guilty. Then I hear that first voice in my head: "It's a necessity".

She's right. And I return to my family happy, relaxed and rejuvenated. Healthy.

One hour a month. It's not much, but it's a dozen times a year that I'm putting myself first. It can make all the difference.

Remember when you had to wait for things?

"Take a photo, Mum! Show me, show me!"

Waiting for photos to be developed before seeing them.

Waiting for a movie to be released on video (!) before watching it.

Waiting for the next outing to the shops before buying something.

Waiting for the newspaper to be delivered before reading the news.

Waiting for a friend to call to chat.

Waiting for a letter to arrive to know how someone is.

Waiting for a song to come on the radio to tape it. (I'm sure I spent hours of my childhood doing this!)

Waiting to get home before making a phone call.

Waiting in queues. (At least, without a recorded voice telling you how important you are.)

What else do you remember waiting for?

Mums - have a business idea?

If yes, this is a must-see!

Huggies have recently launched their fantastic MumInspired Grant Program.

MumInspired will award a total of $110,000 (five mums each to receive $20,000) to help them act upon their child-related business idea. In addition there will also be a People’s Choice Award, which will enable the public to vote for their favourite MumInspired grant recipient to receive an additional $10,000.

Huggies say that, "with the trend of ‘mumpreneurs’ rising in Australia, [we] wanted to provide a genuine opportunity to help Australian mums act upon their entrepreneurial ideas, whilst balancing work and family life."

Submissions for the Huggies MumInspired campaign are open until 1st May 2011. Mums are encouraged to submit grant applications with ideas that focus on nurturing the relationship between mother and child, and be aimed at mums with children aged 0 - 4.

Head to the website to read more and to apply: huggies.com.au/muminspired. (The website also has lots of good business tips!)

Living Offline

I'm sure you haven't noticed, but I spend a lot of time online. I know, a shocking revelation.

Being online means a lot of things to me. Writing, managing websites, finding opportunities, promoting, emailing, chatting to friends and reading. It means I absorb a lot of information, my mind is always busy and there are often several pages and programs open at once.

I have my working/writing days, when I'm online all day, and on the other days I'll check in frequently.

It makes things fairly constant. While we're at the park, for example, I'll whip out a blog post on my iPhone. When we're sitting down for lunch, I'll reply to some emails. When Abbey goes to bed, I'll catch up on the rest.

I love all that - I'm good at being busy. But sometimes it's just as great to take a break.

Yesterday I had lots to do, and I had that feeling that I was falling behind with things. So I shut down the computer (something I rarely do) and did them - I painted, cleaned, shopped for furniture, restocked the house with food, made some phone calls (I know!), played with Abbey, and in the evening I sat on the couch and watched trashy TV with Steve.

Usually, I'd do all these things with emailing and online stuff in between. Yesterday, though, I couldn't do it all - and I feel all the better for it. My day felt less cluttered, more productive and focused and my mind was most definitely clearer.

I think I might schedule an offline day each week.

How about you? Do you set time to be offline? Do you find it can all get too much at times?

Positivity makes the world go 'round

"I'm concerned you will fail..."

As a teenager, these words were enough to make me want to lie in bed and hide under the covers for a very, very long time.

They were spoken by my Year 12 English teacher. Yes, she thought I might fail English. Of all subjects, this was the one I was best at, so if I was going to fail it? You might as well tell me I was terrible at everything.

Mum had other ideas, and encouraged me to prove that teacher wrong, to show her that I had it in me to not only pass, but blitz it. Which I did, resulting in an almost top mark. In hindsight, I think that's exactly what my teacher hoped I would do. I think she used those words very purposefully, wanting to make me do the best I could. What she didn't realise was that she chose the wrong person; if it wasn't for my mum's constant encouragement, I would have just given up. Hidden from the world.

It seems that should have been a warning sign - I'm prone to wanting to hide in bed when things get overwhelmingly negative in my life. (And by 'overwhelmingly' I mean 'even slightly'.)

I didn't write after I finished school, until I began this blog. That's eleven years of having that teacher's voice ring in my ears. That one thought of failure was enough to scare me away from my dream.

But, I'm getting better. When I recently had some not-so-positive feedback on a manuscript, I almost stopped writing again. I actually didn't write any fiction or do any manuscript work for a few weeks following, feeling almost paralysed with self-doubt.

Then, after a recent rejection, I took a day off writing. I spent a day swearing I couldn't do this, that I was terrible, blah blah blah. Then I woke the next day, sat down and read through the feedback (that this particular editor had put together very thoughtfully) and used it to improve the manuscript.

From eleven years, to a few weeks, to one day.

I'm learning.

This week, I've had some positive feedback (which I have had a lot of during all that time, by the way - I just seem to have focused on the negative). And I couldn't be more thrilled. This is what I live for.

I'm smiling, I feel I could conquer the world. I'm convinced - I can do anything.

Positivity makes the world go 'round.

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ebook Review: Art Not Craft

The Art Not Craft ebook has been put together for parents of children aged 12 months to five years. It contains ideas, knowledge and information that will benefit parents, but the real winners here are the children.

Take my family for example...

My toddler loves art and creating - but my husband and I are both hopeless with such things. I'll admit, my idea of art time for our daughter is putting a few crayons and some paper on the table. You can imagine, then, how happy she is that I now have some fresh ideas.

I can just about hear her thinking, 'The fun stuff is finally starting!'

Art Not Craft has been written and compiled by early childhood educator, mum and blogger Christie Burnett, from award-winning parenting website Childhood101. Using her varied experience, Christie has put together a pile of ideas for helping children unleash their creativity, as well as tips for parents on putting together an art space, finding materials, recipes for playdoughs and clays, and more.

Why 'art' and not 'craft'? you might ask. Burnett explains that the two are often confused, but art is defined as "an opportunity for the child to express their individual creativity" rather than more structured and outcome-based craft activities. Having art time is important to a child's development, allowing them to not only be creative and original with their activities, but to express thoughts and emotions that they may struggle to verbalise.

Art Not Craft helps parents to foster this creative development, and is laid out in a practical, useful and easy to follow manner. Drawing, painting, printmaking, collage and sculpture - it's all here and it's great for parents and wonderful for children.

Don't miss this gorgeous ebook.

Click here for more details and to buy the ebook

Special offer - during the month of April, enter the discount code CREATE to receive Art Not Craft at the discounted price of $12.95 (RRP $15.95).

I was going to paint, but...

"I was going to paint, but I don't know where you've put all the stuff," I said as he walked in the door.

Ha! I thought. That'll teach you for hiding things. Clearly, this was not my smartest moment - for a few reasons:

1. Why would Steve hide the paint from me? If anything, he'd be likely to put it in plain view so I'd get the guilts and, you know, paint.
2. Why was it a punishment to Steve if I didn't paint that day? It would all still be there, unpainted, the next day and the day after and the day after, and so on - just sitting there waiting for me.
3. We have a deal, whereby he does all the rolling (walls and ceilings) and I do all the brushing (architraves and skirting boards). Therefore, if I don't paint some architraves they won't be done - and who will that annoy more? Yep. Me.
4. The paint was, in fact, sitting in plain view. Oops...

Steve laughed as I stood there in my proud defiance. He laughed and he pointed at the tins of paint - which were sitting by the front door, where I walk past them approximately five thousand times each day. They've been there so long I don't even see them anymore.

"Well, how about the brushes and stuff?" I asked. NOW I've got him! I thought. (See above for why this was still not a smart thought.)

Steve laughed again, opened the door to the study - MY study, if you recall all my previous renovation posts - and pointed to the pile of painting implements. Okay, but in my defense, the room is unused right now. (Except by Steve, apparently.)

Today, I painted. Only because I had no excuses left.

Why are they so sad?

Where we live, in the hills, Abbey can run pretty free. I let her wander near me, only holding hands when we cross roads.

Strangers smile and talk to her and to me.

I don't think I've ever been for a walk to our local shops without running into someone we know, stopping for a chat.

Put the two of us into the middle of the city, and we're like fish out of water.

We smile at people - and they look at the ground to avoid eye contact.

Abbey chats to another child - and mothers glare at her and move away.

And my little girl's recurring question of the day was, "Why is he/she sad, Mummy?"*

Just one reason we love being in the hills. Because a town with wizards and hippies, while not perfect or filled with happy people all the time, does teach a child that it's okay to be friendly.**


* Except when we met with some friends (Annie, Naomi, Suz, Mal and Jim - and some of their kids), who showed her that being in the city can mean smiles and happiness.

** I do love Melbourne! but I don't think I was born to be a city dweller.

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If you April Fool me, I WILL be mad

I'm a scrooge of many 'days'... Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day - I don't like them. This may stem from some deep psychological dislike of being told what to do... but that's another story for another 'day'.

But there's no day I dislike more than April Fool's Day.

I'm not a person who will believe just anything - in fact, I'll struggle to believe things on the best of days. Truth is stranger than fiction, as they say, and I'll search for the proof of almost anything someone tells me.

And on April Fool's Day, I'm even worse. I'm looking out for lies and practical jokes, trying not to read or listen to anything.

I hate that feeling.

Yes, I'm a 'day' scrooge.

Be warned. April Fool me and I will be angry.

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