Preschool committee: do I or don't I?

A quick but burning question for you today...

Abbey starts kindergarten next year, where she will be for the next two years.

This arrived in the mail this week:

Do I or don't I? I always thought the answer would be a straight out no, but there's a part of me that feels I should be involved and help out the place that's educating my daughter.

Tell me - have you joined a preschool committee? Should I do it?

The day job

When people talk vaguely about their jobs, I always wonder what they actually do.

Office jobs in particular can be hard to pinpoint. Long, fancy titles are thrown around and they don't often mean much to people who don't work in that business (or perhaps even to people who do!).

When I'm playing the corporate game, I'm usually found in Human Resources - it's what I've done for most of my working life, it's the field I studied. Anything to do with people in a business - that's my job.

I've come to realise I'm best at one aspect of that - which just so happens to be something most people I meet hate doing: processes, systems, procedures, documentation, plans, policies. Exciting stuff, huh? (Bet you never realised how much of a nerd I really am.)

The work I'm doing now - a contract role with the company I worked with for nine years before having Abbey - covers some of that stuff I enjoy, but is less on the HR side of things. I'm finding myself wading through workflows, trying to understand processes, mapping it all out, writing up reports, making recommendations, talking to lots of people and madly learning as I go.

I took a few quick snaps over the last few days to show you what my working week has looked like, in case some of you are as curious about what people do all day as I am…

Fun times.


For now, though, my working week is over and it’s time to slow down for a few days. Ahead of me – family, cuddles, walks, baking, writing, planning new projects for my future (what? I suck at slowing down!).

Recharging before hitting my stride into another busy week.

Bring it on.


Now it's your turn - tell me, what's your day job?

When one door closes...

... another opens. So they say.

For our very last meal of the Malaysia Kitchen campaign, we decided to do something different - having been out as a family, taught our little one to eat spicy foods, and had a date night, we thought it would be fun to have Malaysian as it's (in my mind) really intended: with friends.

Sharing big plates of delicious food is the ultimate in eating with friends, and I have a real soft spot for cuisines which offer that.

This time we ate:

Wontons, Lohbak and Peking Duck

Beef rendang, basil chicken, prawns with curry leaves, roti and peanut sauce, nasi goreng

And for the first time EVER, I ate with chopsticks! I was unbelievably proud of myself.

Best Malaysian dessert I've tried - Penang Crepes with coconut filling

We had a great night - lovely company, good food (not the best Malaysian we've had, but still good), nice wine.

The whole thing was tainted by a little sadness on my behalf - I've really enjoyed being part of the Malaysia Kitchen campaign, and I'm sad to see it end. There are some amazing Malaysian restaurants hidden throughout Melbourne - all you have to do is look. Thanks for having me, MK!

And a HUGE thank you to the lovely people at Ogilvy PR for inviting me to be part of this.


We ate at Cherating in Kew East, an inner suburb of Melbourne, with thanks to the Malaysia Kitchen campaign. 

How to jump in The Deep End

I wrote this over the weekend, had my finger paused over the 'send' button to email it to another publication. But I couldn't do it. It means too much, it's too special to me - and so it has to be here.

I was eight years old and the long summer holidays were in full swing. I stood on the edge, poised to jump, while my sister and friends yelled encouragement from the pool.

It was The Deep End and I was terrified. I thought, What if I never touch the bottom? Or worse, what if I do hit it? What if I never emerge to the surface again? Who will save me? What will happen if I stay down there too long and run out of breath?

I talked myself out of it again and again. The voice in my head told me not to try something unless I knew, without an inkling of doubt, that I would succeed.

Don’t jump. You never know what might happen.

*

We are taught from an early age that it’s important to like yourself. We spend years trying to feel comfortable in our own skin, learning the complexities of our personalities and the ways in which we differ from others. We question, we learn – and we accept.

I was always pretty sure of who I was; it was the acceptance part of that equation that was somewhat alien to me. And then, approximately one minute after I learnt acceptance, I became a mum and my world changed… just as the clichés had promised.

I had an image in my head that I was quite certain would come to fruition: a career-focused mother with her child in full-time care. I’d hate playing with my child, enduring the park as a duty every so often when the nagging got the better of me, and turning the television on at any given opportunity. And most importantly of all: I wouldn’t change, and I definitely wouldn’t lose myself.

There is nothing wrong with a lot of those things, in isolation. Together they make me wonder why I wanted children – and the only answer I can come up with is that my instinct knew better than my conscious thoughts.

The mother I am couldn’t be further from that image. I stay at home with my daughter (except for a few stints here and there), working from home around her needs and wants. I not only offer to take her to the park, I even join in on the slides and swings. I bake with her, happily walk and chat with her for hours on end, and we do craft activities together (and I laugh at the horror my former self would be feeling at such a prospect).

I believe myself to be a more patient, present, fun, giving mother than I had ever imagined.

Which all sounds good, right? Easy? Not so for me.

You see, I had done the unthinkable – I’d changed. I jumped into The Deep End, not knowing where it would take me, and found it lived up to my biggest fears: I stayed down too long and ran out of breath.

I ached for something to get me back to my old self, the person I knew so well. I often say I felt trapped during that time, and what I mean is that I was trapped by myself – my own rules and perceived limitations.

They were like an anchor dragging me to the bottom of that pool – and the bottom was a long way down. Luckily I never reached it. Nearly, but not quite.

I remember the exact moment I started kicking again, reaching the surface gasping for breath. Somehow I had shaken the anchor of expectation and I could swim freely. Acceptance is freedom.

I've spent some time getting to know my new self - the one who likes being home rather than finding excuses to get out, the person who likes to bake and play games rather than sit in a boardroom, achieving so much less than I ever anticipated and yet gaining so much more. I no longer worry about other people thinking of me as 'just a mum', which used to be my biggest fear in life.

It’s exhilarating, you know. Jumping in The Deep End and not only surviving, but thriving. Learning that there’s nothing left to fear.

Realising that I’m just me. And that’s okay.

*

I stood on the edge, looking down into The Deep End. I didn’t know what to expect, or how far I’d fall. I didn’t know if I had the ability to do it, or if I’d fail at my efforts.

Eventually I realised. It was now or never.

I jumped.

Maybe I've always been braver than I thought I was.

I want to wear my party dress

"Mummy, I want to wear my party dress today."

And in my mind, I think through our sunny Sunday plans - a walk/trike ride, a play at the park, coming back home to play some more. A party dress is so unsuitable.

"Okay," I say. "You can wear your party dress."

And she's ecstatic about that answer.

This sums up my little girl perfectly - she loves beautiful clothes, accessories, and pink (much to my horror). She also loves getting dirty, being loud, adventuring and being active.

I love it.

The lazy guide to skin care + Giveaway

I am very, very lazy when it comes to skin care and makeup. I want to look good, but I can also think of about a million things I'd rather do than stand in front of the mirror putting things on my face.

My daily face routine is four steps that take about one minute all up: cleanser, moisturiser, BB cream (used to be foundation, but I'm converted as you'll see in the video below!), and any other makeup (concealer, eyeliner and eyeshadow are for days I have extra motivation). Done.

In all honesty, I wouldn't use anything if it wasn't for the fact that my skin is as dry as a reptile's and needs a lot of help!

Part of the simplicity is also about using accessible products - I won't make a special trip for skin care products, so finding things I like on the supermarket shelves is ideal. Oh, and inexpensive is another must - I need to use bucketloads of moisturiser, but I don't want to take out a second mortgage to do it. I did dabble with more expensive products in my higher-earning days, but soon stopped when I realised they're not actually better than the supermarket brands.

To me, it's about having a few products that work really well, keeping it simple, and getting out of the bathroom.

And now, a vlog. Yes, I braved a video post even though I hate being on video. And please don't mind my daughter still being in her pyjamas, hair everywhere, and throwing a little tanty... (Oh, and my skin care routine is quick - but videoing with a young child on my lap is not. Although she is rather entertaining.)

Here are the products I use:

Simple moisturiser and cleanser

Garnier BB cream (technical name: Miracle Skin Perfector)

Garnier roll-on anti-dark circles

Body Shop honey and oat scrub

I've also been given samples of a few other Garnier products and they seem really good, so if you don't have time to scour the shelves they'd be a good place to start.

Now - it's giveaway time!

Win one of 10 Garnier BB miracle skin perfector packs!

This cream hydrates, has SPF protection, evens skin tone, corrects blemishes and 'boosts radiance'. It's definitely worth a try - and you could win one of 10 packs (which will have both the light and medium toned creams) I have to give away, just by commenting below.

Give me your best lazy skin tip or tell us one of your favourite products in your comment, and I'll select the 10 winners.

Competition ends Thursday 29th September at 5pm AEST. Australian residents only.

Renovation Reveal: My Office

A year after our renovation began, I'm very happy to have our final room done! (Although I still have more rooms to reveal here.)

This is a space I've been dreaming of for years - floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, a home for my computer that isn't the dining table, a space for all the paperwork. It's a neat-freak's idea of heaven - which is why I love it so much.

Originally, I was planning to fill the office with Ikea furniture. But the room is an odd size - which brings me to a little deviation here, to tell you this room was already in the existing part of the house and used to be Abbey's room. It looked like this back then:

Anyway, the Ikea furniture - there would have been gaps everywhere, so we enlisted a cabinetmaker friend (who also did our laundry, kitchen and ensuite) to the task. And we couldn't be happier with the result.

The only problem? There are so many shelves I can't fill them - and that's something I'm a little ashamed of. For a couple who love books, Steve and I have a pretty sad looking collection. I'll have to put some work into fixing that.

Here 'tis...

I bought the red chair last year - not knowing what the office would look like or how it would be fitted out, but certain that I had to have a red chair.

This print is from Lemon Tree Lane

Although Steve's work have been kind enough to print the other wall stickers in our house (will show you soon!), I looked online for a world map and found the exact print I wanted in the perfect size for this space - so I bought it. It's from The Wall Sticker Company.

This gorgeous embroidery is from my good friend Cat at Wouldn't it be Loverly

Photo taken when Abbey was 18 months, by the lovely Lou Lou Portraits

This print inspires me every time I go into my office - a present from one of my very best friends

The motorbike on the top shelf was the first present I ever bought Steve, who was missing his motorbike when I met him. That was twelve years ago and he still vows he'll have a real motorbike again one day. (While I'm convinced he won't.)

She's going places

Today I’m going to shut my ranty mouth – it always gets me into trouble – and just share a photo.

It’s one that sums up my little girl, who goes about her life with such focus and determination.

She's going places.

A (yummy) gift to my daughter

I am very strict with my daughter's food. Too strict, in many people's opinions. Take her to a restaurant, and I'll determinedly avoid the 'nuggets and chips with softdrink' kids' menu. Take her to a birthday party and I'll hover when she's near the food, putting the fruit or other savouries in front of her as I remove the lolly bowl. 

Why? Because I know the difference food choices can make to your entire life.

I have very specific eating habits. I like to eat every couple of hours, small amounts (that are - oops - sometimes not so small amounts) very frequently. I like to eat as healthily as possible, while still indulging my sweet tooth. I don't believe in diets, I don't believe in deprivation. Everything I like, I have in moderation.

I have what I believe to be a healthy, balanced approach to food.

But these habits took a long time to form. I took any chance to over-indulge my sweet tooth as a kid, and spent my teenage years barely eating during the day and then stuffing my face with hot chips and packaged foods after school. In my early 20s I'd eat takeaway and rubbishy foods every day.

Now that I'm old, I know how different foods make me feel.

Eat rubbish and I feel like rubbish - no energy, headaches, migraines, digestion issues. Until the last few years I thought it was normal to have headaches all the time, to crash mid-afternoon and feel terrible for the rest of the day.

Eat well and I feel great - energy for anything, no bloating, no headaches, no migraines, rare colds.

So, when people tell me I'm too strict with my daughter's food intake I reply, we all have our focuses and our priorities. We all have different things we believe are worth fighting for. This is one of mine - and I have my reasons. While I don't expect others to adjust their party food or what they do with their children, I have the responsibility to do what I think is right for my daughter. (Side note - this is about balance, not deprivation, and I offer her choices for a limited number of treats.)

So, no, she can't have the lollies when I know she's just as happy with fruit. She can't have the nuggets, chips and softdrink when I know she'll love seafood, salad and milk.

Because that healthy, balanced approach to making food choices? That's a gift I want to give my child.

Going gently

After my little breakdown earlier this week, I'm now spending some time focusing on the little things in life. As a couple of wise and wonderful blogging friends (thanks Ruth and Suz) put it: going gently. I'm taking it quietly and doing the things that make me feel good. Like...

Listening to music, dancing around the house and singing. Loudly.

Right now it's Jack Johnson's beautiful lyrics capturing me.

We got everything we need right here 

And everything we need is enough 

It's just so easy 

When the whole world fits inside of your arms 

Cooking (and eating). Taking the time to make lovely food is what I call my indulgence - it makes me feel good.

Walking. We're often spotted wandering our local streets - it's our time together to chat, to escape, to just be together.

Shopping. Today I spent a couple of hours browsing the shops - just me and a little portion of the money I've been working so hard for lately. Just because.

Friends and family. Laughter, surrounding myself with wonderful people.

Reading. Need I say more?

My week in all its honesty

What I want to write is a lighthearted post about something random. What's in my head and my heart is anything but.

It's been a rough week.

What I'm trying to write now is a cryptic hint at sadness, that won't hit you over the head with my problems.

What's at my fingertips is just the truth. My week so far...

The nervous excitement that I might be pregnant - only to find out I'm not. And dreading the likelihood of more doctors' visits, more tests, a change of medication.

Haunted by vivid dreams and fear right now.

Heading into the city for what was meant to be a fun catch up with some blogging friends, ending up in a panic attack as I drove - and having to go straight back home.

Safely back home, sitting on my couch, tears streaming. My husband's words, his beautiful reassurances, soothing me until I fell asleep.

Feeling overwhelmed with everything I've taken on. So tempted to stop everything, and yet so determined to just keep going.

Wondering when this all happened. I used to be stronger than this, I think. And then I remember times like this before, and I realise my strength has always been in pushing through it.

Don't let the fear take over.

And the rest of the week lays ahead of me - friends, family, spending time with my man and our girl.

I'm going to take some time this week to just be. Go for walks. Laugh. Re-read some favourite books. Sleep.

Breathe.

Third birthday wrap-up

And so, another year of birthday celebrations come to an end.

I'm still fairly new to this being-the-mum-of-a-birthday-girl thing, but I'm learning that every year it's a little emotional for me. I end up reflecting over the last year, and then I look at her baby photos, tearing up with pride at my amazing little girl.

This year was an interesting birthday.

The day itself was a bit of an anticlimax for us all. Steve took the day off and we intended to have a lovely family day - me baking in preparation for the party, him putting together her birthday present, and her playing happily.

But this was her present:

Which did not go well with the rain and hail that was bestowed upon us. She ventured outside with her Dad during breaks in the bad weather, to build and then have a little jump on her new present, but spent most of the day inside staring longingly at it. 

She also kept asking about her party. Where was it? And where were all her friends? In her mind, birthday equals party, and as her party was held the day after she was a little lost on the day.

But then the party day arrived and we had one VERY happy girl.

A big favourite here in the hills is Puffing Billy, an old steam train that meanders through the hills - everyone loves it. The barbeque at the park was the victim of more bad weather, but no one seemed to mind too much - the adults huddled in the shelter and the kids braved it (as kids do) and kept playing.

My little girl donned a beautiful party dress, chosen by her, and ran and twirled and laughed and played. She sat in the window of the train with the big kids - and her party was just as much fun as she had imagined.

Most of all, she revelled in the fact that all the people she loves most were there to celebrate her special day. Thank you to everyone who helped make it the wonderful day it was.

Little things

From little things, big things grow.

Happy 3rd birthday to my beautiful girl. xxx

Food, wine, company - it's date night

I tried to talk, but instead dissolved into laughter.

He poured more wine into my glass – which was also hysterically funny – and smiled as he took another sip of his coffee.

Clearly I was not the designated driver for our evening out.

When I became part of the Malaysia Kitchen campaign, I knew I wanted to use one of the meals as a chance for Steve and I to go out alone. Purely for research purposes, you understand. Having blogged about Malaysian food as a great family meal, and using it to teach children about eating spicy food, I wanted to show it in another light.

So, imagine this light: the room is dim, candles are flickering, barely-shining globes are hanging in bird cages from the high ceilings. It’s time for a date night with Malaysian food.

Omah’s in Port Melbourne is well known and has a great reputation. And people who know it will say three things about it: great food, beautiful location, and AMAZING WINE.

Steve and I ordered a banquet – something I cringe at the concept of, except that these banquet options have an impressive line-up of food: duck sang choy pow, tempura oysters, spicy chicken… all delicious. The beef rendang was the best I’ve had so far and my favourite dish of the night, while Steve was very impressed with a five-spice calamari dish. Then, while Steve polished off the remains of our dishes, I saved room for dessert.

I’d never tried a Malaysian dessert before, so I asked the waiter for his recommendation: tapioca pudding, which was quite similar to rice pudding (but nicer). I’ve never been a fan of Asian desserts, but this may be a turning point in my view on that.

And we accompanied it all with a bottle of red wine. Yes, the word on the street was correct: the wine list was fabulous and I took some convincing to move on from the list of French champagnes before agreeing to a red.

The evening’s conversation descended rather abruptly at a point somewhere between me saving room for dessert and actually eating my pudding. With Steve driving, the task of finishing the bottle of wine was on my shoulders, and I took it very seriously – that is, until it hit me suddenly and left me in fits of giggles, no longer able to hold a sensible conversation. But that’s okay – sensible conversations are overrated.

No, I don’t get out much.

However, in my defence, the wine was good. Really good.

As was our night out.

When was your last date night? Did you get a bit carried away like me?

(Also, it's apparent that mood lighting, an iPhone and good photos don't mix - sorry about that!)

We ate at Omah's in Port Melbourne, with thanks to the Malaysia Kitchen campaign. 

Bye-bye toddler

This week, my Little Miss A will turn three. There is non-stop talk here that 'I'm nearly three, but I'm two first' and 'I'm going to have a party, and Mummy and Daddy can come'.

Three.

This means the toddler years are officially over, and we say hello to the label of 'preschooler'. This has me reminiscing over the last two years...

Toddlers are intriguing - for little people, they live BIG. Life with a toddler can be fun, dramatic, frustrating, exhausting, inspiring and funny... all within ten minutes of being woken at 5am.

For me, the toddler years were an unexpected delight. Everyone warns about the 'terrible twos' but we found it wonderful. It's been a time that we not only got to know Little Miss A's continually emerging personality, but so did everyone around her. She has gained the independence she was craving since birth, and yet remains a vulnerable little one at times.

She has learnt millions of things.

As for the two most famous toddler traits - tantrums and fussiness? What a let down. Tantrums started right on 12 months, but we soon learnt some strategies to avert them... most of the time. The fussy eating we were warned about never showed its face, and we watched with delight as she ate everything from prawns to yum-cha to curries and all-important vegetables.

These two years of toddlerdom have seen so many changes.

We've said goodbye to daytime naps, hello to more waking during the night than during her baby year, and she gave up nappies (except for nighttime) with ease. At swimming lessons she no longer needs me in the pool with her, she has outgrown her baby carseat, grown and grown and grown - in height and shoe size.

She has taken everything in her stride. Moving from a cot to a toddler bed to a big bed? No worries. Her first haircut? She sat still and it was over in five minutes. A major house renovation? She found it exciting and is in love with her new room. Toilet training? Done in three-and-a-half days. Childcare and babysitters and sleepovers? Whatever.

The most noticeable change, though, is probably her speech. At 12 months she could say some words, but at three years she can speak sentence after sentence, sing entire songs and boy, does she come out with some hilarious phrases.

Goodbye toddler years - I'm surprised to say that I loved them.

And hello to the next stage of our little girl's life. I can't wait to see what this brings.

The Help, past and present

This post is sponsored by Nuffnang.

1960s America seems a long way from modern day Australia.

I saw the new movie, The Help, over the weekend, in which a time past is portrayed in a terrible - although ultimately wonderful - fashion. Those were uncertain times, filled with racism, facades, hypocrisy, violence and extreme bravery.

It's a time far from our minds now. These days we have laws in place to protect people and, anyway, Australia is far from the deep south of the USA. Those crazy Americans.

Why, then, was the message I took away from the movie so far removed from that notion?

When faced with the topic of outsourcing one's life to 'the help' all I could think was that we seem to do it even more in some ways now.

When I watched the racism and its effects, which brought tears to my eyes and made my shoulders tense, I thought about how far we have yet to go.

I talked to my Mum, who came to see the movie with me, and realised this was all within her lifetime. Not even a generation ago, people thought others who looked different were so alien and, worse, so offensive. In such recent history some human beings were treated as if they were nothing but the dirt we walk on.

Then something further occurred to me. Here, in Australia - same deal. Aborigines at that time weren't allowed to vote, weren't counted as Australian citizens, often weren't even able to keep their own children. They were treated as dirt, too. (Dirt? To describe either of these situations? People respect dirt, know that it has a purpose and is part of the life cycle of the earth. Perhaps 'treated as nothing' is a better way to describe it.)

Suddenly it doesn't all seem so far from home, does it?

And is life any better now? I guess some would think so; after all, there are laws in place these days. But laws and human behaviour are two very different things.

When I watched the movie and saw the effects of maintaining a facade on life, of women being treated as second-class citizens, I knew that these are still issues in our society, too. Still there are people looking down upon others if they do things differently or have other beliefs.

It might not be so obvious, so aggressive, much of the time. But being passively discriminatory is not any better, and I wonder if it's even worse in some ways.

And when I saw the absolute bravery that it took to stand up and be counted, to live a life as it was intended to be lived - I knew that, too, still exists. There are people pushing past barriers, making changes, living big dreams. Courageous souls.

A movie about a time past, and yet it inspires such thought about our life. Right now.

*

Thanks to Nuffnang, I have three double passes to see the movie The Help (in cinemas now!), and three copies of the book upon which it is based, to give away to three lucky readers!

How to enter: 

1. Simply leave a comment telling us what strikes you as the biggest similarity between life then and life now.
2. Make sure your comment includes some way of contacting you - your blog URL, Twitter handle or email address.
3. Watch this space to find out if you've won!

{Note: Australian residents only. Giveaway ends at 5pm Friday 9th September 2011 (AEST). Good luck!}




A big thanks to Nuffnang for sending me to see this movie and treating me to a high tea, with inspiring guest speaker Sarah Wilson, afterwards.

Things I learnt this week

Going back is never about going backwards - life moves forwards indefinitely.

Things can be the same yet so, so different, all at the same time.

Feeling excited anticipation at spending time my daughter is lovely, but I don't want that every week long-term.

I have THE most supportive husband ever in the history of husbands.

It's odd that I don't want to work in an office long-term when I come home to a clean house, a roast dinner and a glass of wine awaiting me.

All the things I love to do can live happily ever after, together.

Maybe I do still want it all - but my idea of 'all' has changed.

Building a career on common sense and instinct was the smartest thing I ever did. They're not skills that fade or are forgotten.

Confidence can make a very speedy return.

Creating a new ending to a part of your life you look back on with bitterness is empowering.

Sometimes I have to know my limitations, keep my goals in mind and hold myself back. Just because I can see what will work doesn't mean I have to do it.

Working with people you like and respect will always inspire you.

My priorities in life haven't changed. It's just that now, I control them.