Sometimes foods?

I've had a bee in my bonnet ever since Abbey was old enough to eat solid foods.

Back then, at the tender age of five months, we were asked often and by many people when we were going to give her things like chocolate, ice-cream, fast food, and so on. I found myself fighting a battle that I've fought daily ever since.

It occurs to me sometimes - given that Abbey was a beautifully chubby baby and toddler - perhaps people think my food stance is weight-related. That is nowhere near the truth. What this is about is teaching good habits, and just being healthy.

It's about not just doing what others do; we're raising our daughter in what we feel is the best way for us and for her. Just doing the best we can with the values we choose to hold as important.

There are a lot of buzz words in modern life that I struggle with. 'Sometimes foods' is one.

When we talk about 'sometimes foods' or 'special treats' we use the term pretty loosely. Kids are let loose at birthday parties because 'it's not an every day thing'. We'll head out for lunch and have a dessert for 'a special treat'. They'll go to Maccas after school 'as a treat'.

See what I'm getting at? Life is so full of treats at every turn, that it isn't a special thing or an occasional treat anymore. 'Sometimes foods' are actually turning into 'everyday foods'.

We've started talking to Abbey about her food choices, about how different foods make her feel and what they do. We talk about good food as something that gives us the energy to play and helps us grow. And we let her have the occasional treat. (And sometimes, when a certain mother-in-law is involved, we have no say in it at all - three serves of dessert it is!)

We gave her a bit of space at a recent birthday party to have some lollies and chips and things (not to go completely crazy with them, though!), and watched her as she did exactly what we expected: hit a sugar low and struggle to deal with the feelings that brings.

And we talked to her about it when she calmed down. We explained that's how too much of those foods makes us feel; that a little bit is okay but too much - well, how did too much make her feel? 'I cried,' she said. 'And I felt sick in my tummy.' Yep.

She's three. I don't expect her to remember this one occasion forever, or even at the next party! or to let that stop her when the temptation is there. But I do believe these discussions are important.

We talk about food in relation to its purpose and the way it makes us feel, in the hope that this gives our daughter a strong foundation for her choices in the future.

Birthday parties are held all the time in a child's world these days, and every shop we go into has a temptation of some sort. We kid ourselves that all these occasions constitute moderation, and I choose to be really mindful of that.

It's not perfect and yes, it's done with the 'ideal' in mind. It's not a weight of expectation on her, just some assistance as she grows up. It's not a reaction to societal issues, it's a set of lifestyle choices for many other reasons. All of which is exactly what we each do in every other part of parenting.

And I honestly don't see why that should be such a battle.

Camping for beginners

Whenever I write about my love of camping, I get comments asking how to do it. Lots of you want to give it a go but don't know where to start - and I can see why. Walking into a camping shop is overwhelming and if you don't know exactly what you're looking for I can understand why you would walk out thinking it's all too hard.

So at the suggestion of some commenters, I decided to write a how-to for beginner campers.

This post covers the basics of camping, the absolute minimums of what you'll need. You'll notice in the shops that there are thousands of other accessories available; you can go as 'luxury' or as basic as you like, but this guide should see you through a few trials to see if you like the experience before spending all that money! It will also give you a chance to think about which additional things are important to you.

I'll go through each category to consider, with a list at the bottom of things you'll need.

Where to go?



There are three types of camping: caravan parks, camping with some amenities (often found in national parks, for example), or bush camping without amenities.

The first two types are easy to locate: a book or a Google search will tell you where these spots are. The third - roughing it - can take a little more ground work: bush campers like to keep their spots quiet and hidden, so the best way to find them is to search a little harder online or talk to other campers.

My best tip for deciding where to go is to ask yourself a few questions:

What am I comfortable with? You might want full amenities, or you might want to try going into the bush and finding a quieter place.

Where can I get to? The type of vehicle you have will dictate where you can go, to a certain degree. Some bush camping spots are accessible only by four-wheel-drive, so you'll need to research this first.

What interests you? You might want to go for walks, you might like to go for drives, or any number of other activities - which will help you rule out certain areas.

Wherever you end up, I recommend leaving your campsite and doing some exploring - see the area you've come to visit.

Shelter



The most important thing you need is a tent (note that there are other shelter options such as caravans and camper trailers, but tents are the cheapest and easiest option). There are so many tents on the market that you may find this step confusing, but luckily many of those include some really reasonably priced options that are also good quality.

We have slowly upgraded over the years - from a tiny lightweight hiking tent, to a small dome tent (a great starting point - easy to put up and cheap to buy), to our current three-roomed tent.

This is not something to purchase on impulse - before you buy a tent you should do some research to check its quality. Read reviews online and check out the manufacturer's reliability, because no matter how much you love camping, if your tent leaks or blows away it will ruin your trip.

You may also like to consider other shelters too, such as a shade tent or even a tarp (a cheap option that we still use, with ropes to tie the corners around trees). It's great to have some shade or shelter from the rain without having to hide away in your tent... but not a necessity.

Bedding

You'll need something to sleep on and it's up to you how comfortable you are with the options available. Basically, you can use a blow-up mattress or a sleeping mat (which can be quite thin and will certainly straighten out your back! This is what we use and prefer, though).

You can purchase sleeping bags or, if you want to keep costs down you can just take your own bedding from home.

Cooking



When it comes to how you'll cook, you have two options:

Gas - you can pick up a basic single-burner gas cooker for $20, which you can use to heat food or cook just like a stovetop.

Fire - you'll need to check if fires are allowed at your camping spot. If so, and if you want to try cooking on the fire (I'll post some camping recipes here at some point, too), you'll need some good cooking gear. We have this set from Hillbilly Camping (the stand, hot-plate, frying pan, jaffle maker and camp oven), who are local to us - it's great quality gear that will last forever.

Please note that even if you're going to cook on the fire, you should also take a gas cooker in case of bad weather conditions.

Food



So what can you eat? We started off quite basic when we began camping - sausages, chops, pasta mixes - but we've progressed as we've realised you can actually eat really well while camping. If you're unsure you can pre-cook a couple of meals at home and just reheat them on your gas cooker, or you can give things a go from scratch.

The first thing we do when planning a trip is work out a meal plan. Eating well while camping is just like eating well at home: it all comes down to planning.

A good esky/icebox with a couple of bags of ice will keep your food and drinks cold for at least a few days.

Water



The water situation comes down to where you're planning to camp. It's usually safest to take your own in water containers, unless you know the area has clean water.

If the spot you're headed to has a river, you can use that water but should boil it before drinking.

Toilets

The big question I'm asked when I talk about camping is about toilets. Camping can mean no amenities and you need to think about how you feel about that. After a few trips, though, it becomes a non-issue.

When it comes to toilets, there are three possibilities (but always, always pack your own toilet paper!):

Full facilities - Usually found at caravan parks.

Drop toilets (sometimes called a 'long drop') - This is a toilet seat over a hole in the ground, and used communally  just like a normal public toilet (but without the flush!). Many popular bush camping spots will have these, and they're okay in some situations - without going into too much detail, let's just say that they aren't the most pleasant smelling things on a busy weekend.

No toilets - In this case you'll have to dig a hole. Sounds terrible? You'll get used to it. It's worth going behind a tree a few times over a weekend in order to see and do the amazing things you will while camping. (And one visit to a drop toilet on an aforementioned busy weekend will have you wanting to dig your own hole!)

BYO toilet - you can buy chemical toilets and a toilet tent. But be warned, someone has to empty it afterwards!

Showers

Again you'll find a few possibilities:

Full facilities - Usually found at caravan parks.

No showers - Sounds bad? Again, you just need to get over it. There are a few tricks to staying as clean as possible, though. One is to stock up on baby wipes, bring a facewasher, and just do your best. Or, if the weather is warm and you're camping near a river - go for a swim (don't use soap or shampoo in the river, though) and you'll instantly feel better.

BYO shower - You can buy a battery-operated shower and a shower tent - it won't be your greatest showering experience, but it's enough to have a quick wash.

A summary of the equipment you'll need

• Tent


• Shade tent or tarp (optional)


• Sleeping bags (or bedding from home)


• Gas cooker


• Fire cooking equipment (optional)


• Billy for boiling water


• Lighting (torches and/or lanterns)


• Esky


• Water containers


• Cooking equipment (pots, pans, plates, cups, cutlery, serving spoon, tongs - you can bring these from home)


• Chairs

Remember - these are the basics, an absolute minimum. Anything above and beyond this is really a personal preference, but this is a good start.

Good luck, and wishing you all lots of happy camping trips.

(Go on, give it a go - you might just enjoy it!)

(Oh, and let me know how you go - I'd love to hear your camping stories!)

I'm tired of mediocrity

I'm tired of mediocrity.

I want to teach my daughter that life is more important than a career.

That when you’re asked what you want to be, you don’t have to answer with a job title.

I want to show her that you need to work hard, but not necessarily in a traditional sense.

To follow her heart and let it take her to high heights.

I want to show her that she can achieve extraordinary things.

I want her to know that risks are hers for the taking.

And so are adventures.

But how am I to show her that?

No matter how well I do at things, everything I try is so damned mediocre.

Not crazy or all-consuming.

Never risky or extreme.

Just so standard. Boring. Suburban.

I want my daughter to know she can reach for the extraordinary.

But then I'm torn - right now she doesn't want amazing.

She just wants to be. And to be loved. That, she has.

 

This week at my place...

I went shopping for new clothes for the little growing machine. While there, she requested we also go shoe shopping and I agreed it was a good idea. Especially when I spied these little beauties.

I might have picked up a quick purchase or two for myself as well - those infamous glasses and a new maxi dress.



We had a family dinner at our house to celebrate my brother’s 21^st birthday. We all ate lots, drank lots and laughed lots – and embarrassed our brother with funny stories from his childhood.

My brain reached capacity and I spent some time at the office trying to form sentences. And failing. And being laughed at. I’d then text Steve complaining about being exhausted, but got little sympathy as he’s been working nightshifts.



Our fridge failed to cool things adequately. And although I should have noticed this when I baked and didn’t have to soften the butter, I actually noticed when I had a glass of wine. Lukewarm white wine on a hot day is all kinds of wrong.

Abbey learnt a skill that’s highly valued in my family: tongue curling. My mum can’t do this (or click her fingers) and we feared our girl might have inherited this gene. There was a big sigh of relief when we realised we can still keep teasing mum.

I started blogging at Swim Kids, a wonderful initiative between the Royal Life Saving Society and Uncle Toby’s. I’ll be over there once a week for the rest of this year and I’d love you to pop by for a visit if you have a moment!

What's been happening at your place this week?

 

Worthwhile

Things have a habit of turning up in my life just as I need them most.

I wrote earlier this year about needing some time to myself every so often - not to write, not to work and definitely not to do things around the house. To stop and relax. Less time to myself than for myself. At that point, my thing was Shiatsu therapy - something I still think is amazing.

But not long after writing that post, my Shiatsu lady stopped work. She had a baby. (There's a long history of this happening to me - every time I find someone helpful they fall pregnant.)

Since then, I haven't done anything for myself. And I can feel the difference - mainly in the pain running right down my neck and shoulders from all the stored up tension.

Last week, a flyer was dropped into my mailbox. It got my attention, so I rang the number and had a chat to the lady who answered. This lady runs a business from her home (which is only a few minutes from my place), where she has set up a Pilates studio and offers small classes. They include day-time sessions that - get this! - also have a child-minding service for no extra cost.

I booked in for the next day.

After the class, she asked me to do something for the next session: write down some words about how I felt afterwards. No worries, I said. Easy.

And so here I am, sitting down to do my 'homework'. I took a nice big piece of paper and started writing. But I've stopped already, with the page having just one word on it:

WORTHWHILE

It's so easy to forget how much we need things like this. Whether your thing is a massage, a Pilates or yoga session, a gym workout, a jog or a walk - whatever it might be, it makes you feel that you're worthwhile. That you're important enough to invest some time in.

I must remember this from now on. I need something in my life, just something small, to make myself feel that way.

What makes you feel worthwhile?

 

I quit the sugar quit

A confession: I'm off the wagon.

Yep, after all my bleating on about quitting sugar, I'm swallowing my sweet sugary words. In my defense, I did always say it was a trial and that I wanted to incorporate moderation back into my life - so in part I'm still on track. Not a complete hypocrite.

And I've learnt a lot in the last couple of months:

I have a big appetite. Many people say that quitting sugar decreases their appetite and makes them think about food less. Not me. I think I just have a huge appetite regardless!

I haven't experienced any physical changes. I had wondered if eating less sweet stuff would help with a few 'issues', but it hasn't. Worth a shot, though.

I understand my aversion to savouries. Remember when your parents would tell you to eat a meal so that you could have dessert? I've realised I haven't grown up - that's still my way of thinking. I tolerate savouries because I know I should, all the while wanting to get to the good bit. The best thing this last couple of months has taught me is to enjoy my meals more.

Extremes don't work for me. Not with food, anyway. It's got to the point where I can't think of what to eat, so I won't have anything - and not eating enough makes me feel terrible.

I've started feeling deprived. And when you feel deprived, you do weird things. I bought a chocolate bar at a supermarket on the way home one day. Then stopped again and bought another one. A packet of jelly beans another day. This binging is worse for me in a lot of different ways than just eating dessert now and then.

I've never felt guilty about food until recently. I've always had a healthy attitude towards food: if I feel hungry, I'll eat; if I feel like eating something, I will. No guilt, no calory counting, no questions. That has led to me eating more sweets than I probably should make a habit of, but on the whole I eat really well. I'm going back to that approach.

There are other reasons. A lot is going on right now and I feel I'm putting too much pressure on myself. On top of that is being on a medication that messes with my blood sugar levels - and so, if I feel off and need a quick sugar hit to get me through (before having something more sustaining) then I will.

And so I conclude that it was worth a try - and it has taught me a lot about how I eat, my attitude towards food, and it's made me more conscious of what I eat. Which is always a good thing.

Now I just need to remember that moderation is the key. It's what works for me.

Oh, and feel free to say you told me so.

 

I think I sold out... but I'm back.

[caption id="attachment_1339" align="aligncenter" width="550" caption="A little fairy told me I sold out"][/caption]

For the first year and a half of my blog's life I was totally against the idea of working with brands. I just didn't see it fitting here, instead wanting to keep this space advertisement-free and perhaps even use it as a platform from which to gain some paid writing work elsewhere.

This past few months, I gave myself some time to try it out. I've worked with some brands, written sponsored posts and attended events hosted by big businesses. This, combined with the discussions out there in the blogging world, have helped me draw some conclusions about what I want to do here from now on.

Thinking back over this year, the one main conclusion I've come to is that I sold out. I think it's a pretty natural reaction: suddenly there are offers coming from all angles, products and money being thrown into the mix, and compliments about your writing and your level of influence. It's hard to not get caught up in it, although I'm a little ashamed at myself for doing so. I'm not happy with some of the things I've written about, and I have this strange feeling about having acted as a promotional tool for huge corporations all for a measly three-figure sum.

More than that, I feel strange about being told I have 'influence'. It doesn't sit well with me, and I'd like people to visit this space for some good stories rather than to be influenced about what to buy. Writing Out Loud is an extension of my life, and I don't spend time in my life spruiking products. It feels a bit like I'm using you guys - the more I tell you what to do, the more money I earn. It's weird.

And so, I've developed some strict guidelines for myself, a way to continue working with brands on my terms. I'll use a combination of that and good old gut instinct to decide what to do and what to politely decline.

For a start, I've pulled out of the big one-size-fits-all advertising agencies. I do hope to continue working with the smaller ones, who I can talk to about tailoring a campaign or idea to suit this space.

When I do write about something, you can be absolutely certain I'm doing it for the right reasons. That being because it's something I completely believe in and that has something to offer you, too.

If I'm invited to more events, I'll take those in my stride. I do love them for the opportunity to learn and most of all, to meet and catch up with other bloggers. But I won't let my Twitter stream read like an advertisement.

I'm going to put forward my own proposals to work on projects I really want to do. The worst that can happen is they say no and I keep doing what I'm doing. The best that can happen is, well, lots of cool stuff!

It's time to run my own race, and do what's right for me - and for you.

What do you think? Have you ever been sold to the dark side?

 

Some great posts around this topic have helped me think through this area of blogging:

Eden questioned social media

Ann Nolan wrote about personal bloggers working with brands, as opposed to business or niche bloggers

Dorothy talked about feeling the need to audition for brands

In this transcript of a live chat, Mrs Woog shares details of how she and Eden sought sponsorship

The comments on my post about what I want to do made me think about this too (although that post wasn't about this issue, the comments about spending your time doing the things you really want to do extend to anything in life)

 

I blogged for 2 years and got some great memories

I sat down at my computer and did something scary. I didn't know what it meant or what would happen; I just knew it felt right.

This weekend marked two years since I started blogging. Here, I've written my way through some of the best times and the darkest times of my life. I've questioned everything and shared more than I ever thought I was able to - and it's felt good. I've lost my way, found it again, lost it, and then created it all over. I've made new friends, stepped outside my comfort zone to try new things - and I've laughed a lot.













A big thanks for reading, and I look forward to sharing much more with you.

 

10 things you didn't want to know about me

[caption id="attachment_1301" align="aligncenter" width="427" caption="No. 9 - I had some buyer's regret after an impulse buy yesterday... until Twitter talked me off the ledge"][/caption]

1. I have a really weak stomach and lots of things make me gag: soggy bread, sick spewy people, eyeball goop, people chewing with their mouth open, people sharing toothbrushes. I say the word 'disgusting' a lot, because I find so many things in this world, well, disgusting.

2. Most people who have read my blog and then meet me, are surprised at how tall I am. It appears I blog like a short person. (No, I have no idea how I do that, but if you're reading and thought I was short maybe you could enlighten me.) In fact, I'm 5'8" and considered tall by most standards... except that of my family. Between my parents and three siblings, I'm the shortest. It's the greatest injustice in my life.

3. The scariest movie I've ever seen is Con Air. John Malkovich is one creepy guy, and after seeing him in that movie I wouldn't let Steve leave me alone in the house for weeks. Literally. For those who haven't seen it, this is not a horror movie, which might explain how easily I am spooked - and why I won't watch actual horror movies.

4. I'm struggling to think of things I haven't talked about here before, because my memory is really bad. I can read books ten times and still wonder what's about to happen. Same with movies, which drives Steve insane when we're hiring a DVD ("Oh, this movie looks good!" "We've seen it." "No we haven't!" etc. etc.). However, my bad memory means I write everything down because I can't trust myself to remember it, so when people accuse me of not remembering something because of my bad memory I have a fall-back. Confused? Yeah, me too.

5. I once sat in a group of people I didn't know and told them the story of when my husband died. I was laughing as I told it and then realised that they were all looking at me in horror. "No!" I explained, "He's alive now! He just died for a couple of minutes, and it was before I even knew him!" They just looked at me like I was an idiot. I don't tell that story very often anymore.

6. My thumbs are horrible. When I had my nails done for my wedding, I found out they don't even make fake nails wide enough to fit my revolting thumbs.

7. I talk in my sleep sometimes, and Steve tells me my favourite sleepy topic is toast. Which is weird in itself, but partly because I'm not a great fan of it. Maybe so much so that it gives me nightmares.

8. I don't like phones - or at least, not to talk on. Phone conversations freak me out, because I like to see someone's face when I talk to them. I feel awkward if I can't.

9. I'm a very decisive person usually, but not when it comes to shopping. I'm forever returning things and then going back to buy them again, or filling an online shopping cart and then closing the screen when I'm halfway through the checkout process.

10. When I'm nervous, I laugh. When I'm tired, I struggle to form sentences. When I'm hungry, I'll yell. When I'm sad, I want to hide away. When I'm asleep, I sleep through anything. When I'm content, I find a new challenge.

(Thanks to Jane and Clint for tagging me to do this post!)

 

 

So? What are you going to do?

I cuddled my girl to sleep tonight and as I did, I opened my eyes. Right there, just millimetres from my face, was her teddy bear. He stared at me with those big inquisitive eyes, and if he could think or talk (which he might be able to; who am I to question that?) he would have been interrogating me: So? What are you going to do?

And if he could think, I don't doubt that he'd first be thinking of Abbey. What are you going to do to make life best for her?

*

When Steve picked Abbey up from childcare today, he told them that she'll be finishing up in a couple of weeks. He told me they were devastated. They love our little girl.

Where once I felt guilty for putting her in there, I now feel guilty that she won't see her friends anymore.

Childcare is odd like that - your kids form relationships with children you don't know, and you can't keep that friendship going because you never see the other parents.

The ladies asked if she'll be back next year, and Steve shrugged. Partly because he didn't want to tell them that it's unlikely. And, I suspect, partly because no one knows what I'll end up doing next year.

*

Twelve years ago, an eighteen-year-old girl left school and went to university, just as she'd always dreamed.

She only lasted one semester. She got impatient and decided Tafe would be quicker, an easier way to get out there earning a living soon. She spent a couple of years studying her dream job: travelling, writing. And when she finished she turned her back on it for a safe corporate job so that she could buy a house and live happily ever after with her man.

For twelve years she's known it, felt it - that there's more out there for her.

*

It's like a rerun of a corny drama show on the telly.

Will she follow her heart and her emotions, or go with her head and the yearning for security?

Everyone knows what they want to see someone do. But do they dare do it themselves?

Or do they just tread their own way and be damned to both the dreamy and the sensible paths?

*

So? What are you going to do?

 

10 reasons to go bushwalking with kids

We recently spent a weekend at the glorious Wilson’s Promontory in Victoria, checking out some of the wonderful walking tracks there.

The first walk we did was to the top of a mountain, Mt Bishop (an easier walk than it sounds!), and the three of us headed off with Steve carrying Abbey in a carrier on his back. It wasn’t long before our inquisitive girl was asking to walk “all by myself” – and I have to say, after carrying 18kg of squirming child, Steve didn’t take much convincing!

She walked with us to the top of the mountain, and then halfway back down, a total of about 3.5kms along rough tracks. We’ve done this a couple of times before in the national park close to our home, and always see so many benefits of taking a young child bushwalking.

Here are some reasons to get out there and give it a go:



It’s a full sensory experience. Smell the air, see the beautiful sights and colours, taste the fresh running water, hear the wildlife noises, and feel the different textures. All the senses are stimulated during a bushwalk.

It’s good for the imagination. Abbey spent much of our walk chatting away about what she was imagining, drawing in the dirt with a stick, and pretending the rocks at the top of the mountain were a shop (as you do!). It really is a whole other play experience – with no toys required.

[caption id="attachment_1214" align="aligncenter" width="550" caption="Seeing the wildlife's poo was just as intriguing for Abbey... especially when she discovered that wombats have square droppings!"][/caption]

Seeing wildlife outside a zoo. These days we spend a lot of time taking our kids to see relatively tamed animals that they can watch, pat and feed. Seeing animals in their natural habitat is something different altogether, and teaches children a great respect for and understanding of them.

The exercise is good for them. And for you. And the best thing about Australia is there are so many walks available to us, for all different fitness levels and abilities – you can find something that suits you and your kids.

They’ll learn respect for their environment. Until now, most of our bushwalking with Abbey has been with her in the back carrier. Giving her a chance to walk taught her new things: not to walk off the track, not to stomp all over the plants, and how to be safe in the bush.



Bushwalking is great for their gross motor skills. Going for walks around suburbia or in parks is great on a day-to-day basis, but this is a different experience entirely. Walking along rough tracks covered with tree roots, rock steps, bridges and puddles is amazingly good for young walking legs. 

It’s valuable family time. While you walk, you’re together and you’ll probably be chatting to each other. What better way to spend a few hours together than just enjoying each other’s company?

It suits any budget – or lack thereof. Bushwalking doesn’t cost a cent, so you don’t have to worry about trying to squeeze it into your budget.

You’ll feel like the best parent afterwards. It was a great parenting day, giving Abbey the chance to learn while having fun and being outside. And it taught me a lot about what she’s interested in at the moment, by listening to her questions and watching what she was drawn to.



Bushwalking is the perfect confidence booster. When we reached the top of the mountain, Abbey looked at the view in amazement. “Did I climb to the TOP?!” she asked, and the grin on her face when we told her she had was priceless. It was even better when we reached the bottom again, and pointed to the tip, showing her where we had just been. The rest of the weekend she looked up at that mountain and said, “I did that!” It’s a wonderful way to show your child that they really can reach great heights.

Bushwalking is a fun family activity that will benefit everyone. Most of all, you’ll notice how much your kids love being in the great outdoors, roaming and exploring their environment.

Why not give it a go!

Managing the busyness of life

[caption id="attachment_1218" align="aligncenter" width="550" caption="Abbey and I watched a spider make its web: a busy but purposeful life"][/caption]

When I feel like my life is well balanced, I try to take note of why that is – because it’s sure to be a fleeting moment.

In a life of trying to achieve lots and tick a variety of boxes, there is one thing that seems to be a common factor every time I feel that things are going well: I’m less busy.

By that, I don’t mean that I’m doing less or not achieving as much in my day, or that I have less on my to-do list. I mean I’m less caught up in the busyness of life. I'm more purposeful.

I don’t like it when people talk about being busy. ‘I’m too busy to do that,’ they’ll say (or I'll occasionally find myself saying without thinking), and I cringe.

I’m a big believer in the theory that you make time for anything you want or need to make time for.

I used to work with a man who loved to talk about how busy he was. I'd go in for a meeting and spend the first ten minutes listening to him talk about how hectic his day was, and I'd think about all the things he could have ticked off his list in that time, instead of rattling on about how much he had to do. I really think that for some people, it's more about looking 'busy and important' rather than actually needing to get through a lot in a day.

Most of us do have a lot to achieve each day, and sometimes it feels like a constant battle. My advice to you - and to myself - is to stay calm, write a list and just do it. Don't let your mind get caught up in busy thoughts that will make you waste time talking about general busyness.

How do you manage your busyness?

 

Wilson's Prom: it's true love

 



I've fallen in love. Hard.

It's the unexpected kind: when you think nothing could surprise you, and then you see this place and you just fall for it.

Gippsland. It's always been there, right on my doorstep. The edge of it is just an hour's drive from my home, but I ignored it - never knowingly, it simply never entered my thoughts when I was planning a trip. It was more of a place to drive through on the way to other spots - maybe the far edges of the region, or further.

It's funny how that happens: the things that are closest to you are the ones you overlook so easily.

First it was Walhalla. Now it's Wilson's Promontory.

The Prom, as it's called, is just two hours drive from me and two-and-a-half hours from Melbourne. And it is AMAZING.

From perfect white sand beaches...



[caption id="attachment_1194" align="aligncenter" width="550" caption="Abbey tests the sound effects of the sand on Squeaky Beach"][/caption]

... to sparse flatlands...

[caption id="attachment_1198" align="aligncenter" width="550" caption="Spot the kangaroo!"][/caption]

... to rolling hills...

[caption id="attachment_1201" align="aligncenter" width="550" caption="Yep, it's definitely the rolling hills that made me stop here"][/caption]

... to some of the state's best bushwalking...





... there is so much to do and to see here.

We spent our time at Wilson's Prom giving Abbey a taste of bushwalking, relaxing by the beach, spotting dozens of wild animals (wombats, kangaroos, wallabies, emus and birdlife), driving around to explore the surrounding countryside, and enjoying a good country pub meal (you can't blame me for wanting to partake in some local seafood and wine!).

The Prom is the southernmost tip of the Australian mainland, and has only recently re-opened after the March 2011 floods, when they were hit with about 330mm of rain overnight. The remains of the damage are still visible in spots: landslides and rebuilt roads, as well as some walking paths still closed (the famous Mt Oberon walk is still shut, but we found views just as good - and in all honesty, a better bushwalk - at Mt Bishop on the west side of the Prom).

There is one place to stay in the Wilson's Prom National Park itself: the Tidal River campground, which offers tent sites, powered sites, cabins and group lodges. It's an easy way to enjoy camping, with full facilities available including showers, toilets, barbeques, an information centre and a general store. Even so (says she who is used to bush camping!), it's a beautiful spot tucked into the bushland, with a very short stroll to the beach. You'll even find wombats wandering around at dusk! There are plenty of other places to stay outside the park - more camping, bed and breakfasts and hotels.

We loved every minute of our time at Wilson's Prom. A weekend wasn't enough, and we'll be back very soon for more.

Because a long-distance love won't work, unless I visit more often.

Enormous thanks to Destination Gippsland and Brand Meets Blog for sending my family and me to enjoy a weekend at Wilson's Prom. Travelling and writing = my dream job!

 

Today was not good. Today was not fun. Tomorrow is another one.

Remember the other day when I said the 'threenager' attitude was really funny?

Well, today it was not.

Today, she pushed me. Attitude, meltdowns, refusing to listen, demanding things - it was constant all day.

I wanted to click my fingers to turn her back into her usual, wonderful self. I wanted to kick myself for having such stupidly unrealistic expectations that once my working week was over we'd blissfully enjoy each other's company. I really wanted to walk away.

There were so many moments that I didn't know what to do.

I felt out of my depth today. Way out of my depth.

And I'm not proud of how I handled any of it - making her apologise to her swimming teacher (seriously, who does that?), forcing her to sit in the corner (all that does is make us both feel like crap), going home instead of to a friend's house (all that did was make ME miss out on some fun), ignoring her (that really doesn't work), blah blah blah.

I got caught up in this whirlwind of emotional punishment, acting on impulse and anger and doing things before I thought them through. The one thing that I try so hard to avoid in my parenting.

And then, at the end of the day when I felt like all I had no energy left, she threw a balloon to me. I jumped up to catch it. She laughed. She laughed so much that she fell over.

We played with that balloon for half an hour, and we both laughed the whole time.

How I love that kid.

And boy am I glad that tomorrow is a fresh start.

 

At my place this week

This week...

Melbourne turned on the beautiful weather on the weekend, so we took the chance to head out to the beach.



We had a family movie night, introducing Abbey to The Man From Snowy River (an Australian classic) (yes, we are THAT daggy), and she loved watching the horses and seeing the film locations that she's been to. And the popcorn, of course.



I quite a lifelong habit - picking my nails - and then painted them brightly to celebrate!



Abbey announced, "I drawed a picture of Daddy!"


What's happening at your place this week?

 

Try something new & you might just surprise yourself

Today I have a story for the doubters. Anyone who says, ‘I hate camping’ or ‘I couldn’t do it’ or ‘I’m too old for that’ – read on for an inspiring story.



My Dad always loved heading out into the bush – fishing, camping, bushwalking, photographing nature. I often think Dad has adventure in his blood (and that’s where I get it from!): his parents moved from London to literally the middle of nowhere in the Tasmanian bush, so to them camping or bushwalking was something to do but not a big deal in the scheme of things they’d done in their lives.

Mum didn’t like any of that. She wasn’t exposed to it either – her father was a prisoner of war during World War II and had no intention of living out of a tent ever again. Being able to provide his family with safety and a roof over their heads was a source of pride for Grandad, and he saw no reason to mess with that.

For years, Dad tried to convince Mum that camping and outdoorsy holidays were the way to go. When my siblings and I were younger we’d head out on the occasional camping trip to caravan parks or my aunty’s farm. Mum hated every minute she spent in a tent.

Dad missed it, though, and eventually they reached a compromise and purchased a caravan. They made a couple of small trips in it, but neither Mum nor Dad enjoyed it. The problem when you live where they do (near me in the hills) is that you get used to space, not being close to your neighbours. In a caravan park, you’re surrounded by people.

When Dad turned 60, he wanted to go away for a couple of weeks. He informed Mum that they’d be taking their caravan into the bush. She was nervous, but they bought a few camping ‘luxuries’ – a shower and toilet, for example – and headed off. They both loved it.

The freedom, escaping from life’s pressures and noise: this was heaven for a couple who lead busy lives (Mum and Dad both still work full-time).

Mum was transformed after that trip – she’d seen what could be. Soon she was talking to Dad about bushwalking (expecting the occasional stroll through the national park), and he was so excited he had them booked on The Great Ocean Walk soon after.

They started training – and they did it. Dad, who hadn’t been hiking for years, and Mum, who had never wanted to do anything like that. And now they’re unstoppable: they’ve since completed The Great Ocean Walk and some day-hikes in Tasmania. Every weekend they’re found in the national park training. They’ve slept in tiny hiking tents, in the back of their car, and truly ‘roughing it’.





They’ve started all of this in their 60s. And they’ve never looked healthier, fitter, more relaxed or happier than they do right now.

Mum and Dad have no intention of using their caravan again (in fact, it’s up for sale). They’ve caught the true camping bug.

I asked Mum the other day what changed her mind after all this time. She said that once she’d realised the places she could see, the things she could do, and the experiences she could have if she temporarily left some comforts behind, she knew she wanted to keep doing it. Camping and hiking have given her confidence that she can push herself to do anything.

All that, just by getting fit and going without a proper shower for a few days at a time.

Mum and Dad prove that if you just give something new a try, you might just surprise yourself and find it makes your life a little better.

Finding balance: who is responsible?

This speech is quite lengthy, but so worth it. Listen while you click around doing other things on your computer, and just take some time to absorb what he says. If you want to talk balance in life, you need to hear this.

In a nutshell: finding balance is the responsibility of each of us. Others are wired to get as much as they can from us, and we need to be able to say 'stop'.

Which is the hard part for a lot of us, really: saying no.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdpIKXLLYYM

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the notion of taking responsibility for the balance in your life.

 

Introducing 'Writing Out Balance'

On October 6^th 2011, the day that Apple founder Steve Jobs died, I watched this speech of his.

We often hear inspiring things like this – live like it’s the last day of your life.

I have one problem with that sentiment: if today were my last day, I wouldn’t spend it vacuuming the floors or doing my tax return. I wouldn’t discipline my daughter, I wouldn’t pay the bills, would give up the idea of that course I want to do that requires a lot of hard work and I’d give exercise a miss.

Instead, I would spend all day with my family. I’d laugh and play with my daughter, walk hand-in-hand with my husband, spend time with my parents and siblings, catch up with friends, eat amazing food and drink expensive champagne.

Two extremes of life – one being the ideal, the other the necessities. Neither can exist in isolation.

If I spent every moment of every day laughing, drinking and playing, I’d never learn anything. I'd never push myself out of my comfort zone or achieve things that make me feel good long-term.

To enjoy life, I need to have the boring things in order. I need to be earning money to have a house and go on holidays, I have to have a clean home that’s at a minimum level of ‘hygienic’ and I need to discipline my daughter so that she learns to live her life as best she can.

I just don’t want to spend all my time doing those things.

Instead, I aim to live my life with balance. Or, as I like to think, with imbalance – a heavy leaning of time on the things that I’d spend the last day of my life doing, and less time on the necessities.

That’s my ideal in the work/life balance agenda.

Here, I want to explore ways of finding that imbalance. My personality is quite 'all or nothing' so balance is something I struggle with - and I'm sure it's the same with many of you.

I look forward to sharing this little corner of the internet with you, as we look at the balancing of life with work and other necessities, and I’d love to hear from you with questions, tips and ideas.

Let’s find a way to live our lives not like each day is our last, but as each of us really want to live.

 

12 things I love about camping

People are often surprised by my decision to go camping.

It's something you either really love or really despise - the thought of no toilets or showers, setting up, the dirt and mess, cooking over a fire - it makes a lot of people dream of five-star hotels.

And it isn't so much that I love those things - I'd prefer to be clean and use a proper toilet, too. It's more that if we didn't camp, we simply wouldn't be able to go away as often as we do - and my love of travelling wins over all else.

It got me thinking about why I do love it, though, or perhaps why I've learned to love it.

1. Getting away from technology, work, stress - it's so good for the soul.


2. Spending time as a family, away from all the technology and work, makes up some of the best times we've shared together. No television to turn on, no computer to type madly into; we just sit around a campfire and chat.


3. Seeing my gorgeous girl enjoy it. If you look up the term 'happy camper', I'm sure you'll see a photo of Abbey: covered in mud, hair everywhere, daggy clothes... and a huge smile on her face. Truly, this girl is made for camping.


4. Jumping into our 4WD and exploring. In it, we see amazing hidden spots - and when I climb into the drivers' seat (sometimes!) I enjoy learning the skills that also make me a better driver elsewhere.


5. The food - we eat better than ever while we're camping. Roasts, curries, stirfrys, cakes and puddings - all cooked on the fire (or its coals). It all tastes amazing.


6. Spending some time focusing on the basics of life: food, water, shelter, family. Nothing else matters, and for a short time life is uncomplicated and my mind stops racing around.


7. We often go camping with some friends, and it's wonderful to catch up with them properly away from a life where we all have other things to do and places to be.


8. Watching Abbey enjoy the freedom of having nowhere to be, nothing to race off to. She just plays and helps out and wanders, swims in the river and runs around, before enjoying an evening bath by the campfire. Bliss.


9. Our friends are amazing with Abbey, and camping is her time to enjoy their company one-on-one. She wanders with them and talks to them about what they're doing, and they do fun things with her like making rope swings and playing games.


10. Watching the dog enjoy her freedom and doing what she loves best: being around people. And eating lots.


11. When you camp somewhere, you really experience it. You get to know its dangers, its smells, the great parts about it. In a hotel you could be anywhere, when you're camping it's different everywhere you go.


12. Coming home and jumping straight into the shower!

 

When a child uses a DSLR (part 2)

You may recall a couple of weeks ago I shared some photos Abbey had taken using my digital SLR camera. They were quite average photos - many of them blurry (which tends to happen when you move the camera to look at the screen while still taking the photo), and if a person happened to be in the picture it was really just due to their skills at putting their face in front of the lens.

This weekend she had another go - it turns out what we'd told her about cameras has stuck in her mind.









She has really caught the essence of our weekend away: the happiness, the dirt, the beautifully vivid bush colours.

I'm sticking with my old theory: I should definitely get a new camera while we give this one to Abbey. After all, we don't want to be accused of not nurturing a talent, do we?