The day my baby hated burgundy cars

So I'm enjoying being back home. Back in my house, my hills, my car... and it seems after two weeks in a slow old campervan I'm enjoying my zippy little car a bit too much.

Driving home from a day-trip to a friend's farm near Wilson's Prom (picture above - is that not the most amazing place to live?) I came upon a slow car in front of me. You know the people who drive really slowly and then, just as you get to an overtaking lane, they speed up? Yep. That.

So I too sped, wanting to get past him while I could and then enjoy the rest of the drive home at normal speed. I got past him but then heard the sirens. Looked in the mirror and sure enough, the police had noticed me. One feels really classy when pulled over by the cops with two and a half children (we had my niece with us) in the car.

'You were going a bit fast overtaking that car,' the policeman explained. 'Any reason for that?'

'Yes, officer,' I replied sweetly. 'See, when I turn on my air-conditioning my car loses all its power. But it's getting a bit hot and stuffy in here, so I'm using my open window as a cooling device. And I wanted to turn it up.'

'Oh! Well that's a fair and reasonable explanation!' he agreed. 'Have a nice day, ma'am.' And we each went our separate ways.

Okay. It didn't quite happen that way. Let's rewind.

'You were going a bit fast overtaking that car,' the policeman explained. 'Any reason for that?'

'Well, you see, I'm pregnant. And you know that thing about pregnant women being fussy about food? Well, my baby has an aversion to certain car colours and I just felt sick looking at that burgundy car so I had to get past it quickly.'

'Oh! Well that's a fair and reasonable explanation!' he agreed. 'Have a nice day, ma'am.' And we each went our separate ways.

Oh, all right then. It didn't happen like that either. What REALLY happened was:

'You were going a bit fast overtaking that car,' the policeman explained. 'Any reason for that?'

'I just... well... no,' I said. 'I did the wrong thing. Sorry.'

Oh god, I'm such a square.

A square with a $244 fine. Ouch.