Tuesday, May 15, 2012
The mummy wars: do they even exist?
My view on motherhood is pretty clear:
It's not a job, it's just life. Sometimes life is wonderful, sometimes it sucks a bit.
Mostly, I think we all have our differences - values, views, methods of doing things - but more importantly we all have ONE HUGE thing in common.
We're all trying to do our best.
End of story.
Except, it's not. There is, apparently, a 'mummy war' being fought. We're being told by the media that we all want to know which parent is doing it right and of course, which ones are doing it WRONG. Which ones should we point our fingers at and alienate for their WRONG choices? Which ones should we put a BAD MOTHER label on?
This week has been a tough battle in the 'mummy war'. Headlines have been aimed at breastfeeders, smackers, working mums, those who complain... and that's just in the last few days. (It's probably important to mention here that these are mostly (and I say 'mostly' because part of the smacking story did actually make me quite uncomfortable) not stories about people mistreating or abusing their children in any way - that's a whole different kettle of fish.)
I think it's great to have discussions about parenting. I love hearing about how others do things - that's what shows me what options are open to me, it helps me and my husband make informed choices about our own ways of parenting. And it's okay to have views on what others do - there is no other way to form your own boundaries.
That's (in part) why I read lots of blogs - hearing from other parents has opened my eyes to the world of choice in parenting. Knowledge equals less judgement, and better personal decisions.
But every time I hear someone outside the headlines talking about these stories, I hear one message: Can we leave each other alone please!
And so, I disagree with the media. I don't think any 'mummy war' actually exists.
I think they've created it, just for the headlines. (I know! Shock, horror!)
I think that most of us couldn't care less about finger pointing. We want to talk about things, but not in a nasty way. I think that if it was all presented differently we'd actually enjoy discussing our differences. Which would be much more constructive.
We're all trying to do our best. End of story.
What do you think about the 'mummy war'?
Posted at 9:12 AM