Monday, May 7, 2012
A pre-Mothers Day letter to my daughter
Three-and-a-half years ago you were born, and I became a Mum.
By the time my first Mothers Day came around, your Dad and I had discussed how we felt about Mothers and Fathers Days. Quite simply, we were as impressed with the idea of those as we were about Valentine's Day. (Yuck.) And so, each time a Mothers or Fathers Day has arrived we ignore them - except to visit your grandparents. Maybe. If we're feeling charitable enough to ignore the fact we don't like these days and would prefer to (and do) visit them at other unscheduled times.
Last year at childcare you made me a glittery wooden spoon and a card. This year at kinder, I'm pretty sure you're making me a card that tells me what you love about me. (You haven't yet learnt to keep a secret.) (For the record, you love that I read you stories.)
I love that stuff - making a nice card or a funny little offering, not buying me stuff that ads on TV tell you I want. (If I want diamonds I'll hint to your Dad for another occasion.) But I love it no more than any other day you come home armed with paintings and paper plates that you've scrawled your name over, or a picture that you say is of the three of us with big smiles on our faces.
One day when you're older you might want to buy me something small, or make me breakfast, or pick some flowers from our garden for me. But whether you do those things on Mothers Day or on any other random day doesn't matter to me. Frankly, whether you do those things at all is neither here nor there.
What I want is for you to love the people in your life, and to show them that. And show them whenever the urge takes you, not when a date on a calendar tells you to.
You are one of the most genuine, kind people I know - and I don't want that turned into a fake, forced showing of affection by the commercial world. Just be you. Show your love in a way that's you. If you grow up to really love those days and feel that helps you express your affection, then do it - but do it for your own reasons.
In our family we'll celebrate Christmas and birthdays with love and excitement. The rest of the year, let's just give life the chance to happen, and enjoy the hell out of it.
Posted at 8:16 AM