Friday, June 22, 2012
A fresh start ahead
When my baby is born in October, I want a fresh start.
I've been carrying a lot around for the last three years. My entire life has changed and it's been pretty hard to come to terms with some of it.
I used to talk about my 'bad year', with all the words to describe it. Except one.
A label shouldn't matter, except that it helps me confront this with the seriousness it deserves, and needs. All the same, 'Depression' is a label I feel some shame in carrying around.
What I'm focusing on is taking steps to confront it head on: I'm educating myself about it, researching and talking about what it means, and figuring out how to avoid it happening again.
That's the key for me. Although I feel weird about admitting I experienced post-natal depression, I need to be able to acknowledge it... and move on.
On to my fresh start.
I don't want this baby born to a mother burdened with 'issues'.
I have a bit of an action plan (of course!), because it's actually pretty tempting to bury my head in the sand rather than think through all this.
I've written some articles about PND, which has given me a reason to delve deeper and research it, and also hopefully help others understand it better too. Most of my focus is on prevention, because I want to be positive about it and give us all hope. (Which is, ultimately, also the cure.)
I'm writing a book - and whether it ever sees a publisher's desk is almost irrelevant. It's important for me to really think about what happened.
I have a list of goals - writing, travelling, adventuring, the things that make me me.
But it's about more than that, more than me. There's one big thing above all else: a feeling that if I can rise above this, that if I can help others rise too, we can do wonders in this world.
I want to finish my action plan before October so that I can put it behind me and have a fresh start with my beautiful family.
And so that together, we can live the next few years (and beyond) with everything we have.
Posted at 11:11 AM