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| For dress-up day at kindergarten, she dressed up as her Dad going to work. |
She asked me what the mums do when the kids are at preschool.
Some go home, I said, some look after their other kids, some have to go out and do other things. And some work.
"No!" she said, laughing at me. "Mums don't work! Only daddies do!"
I explained it to her: some mums work, some stay home, sometimes dads stay home, some parents work from home. Like me. She found the whole thing quite funny; she's four - what happens in her world is the entire world.
I've always felt this pressure to set an example for my girl. Show her that being a mum doesn't have to limit you, that a woman can do anything.
When we had that conversation I was a little surprised, but I no longer felt the pressure.
I know now what she needs from me.
She doesn't need to see some forced version of a superwoman. She doesn't need a mum who's going through the motions. She doesn't need me to become a byproduct of society's expectations. It's not my role to show her that a family can work in countless different ways.
She just needs me.
All she needs to know is that I did what was right for me and for us.
All she needs from me is love. Time. Support. An ear to listen and a shoulder on which to lean.
The rest, it's just stuff.
Oh Megan I LOVE this post!
ReplyDeleteYou're right about the pressure to raise little girls to believe women can do anything and everything. But I've also learned with my daughter that there are millions of teachable moments along the way and the best thing you can do for her is to be your own authentic self in your own home.
Sometimes my daughter, Abi, brings up an odd notion (like women can't do dirty work, for example) and it only takes me a minute to run through examples of women she knows who actually do bloody hard work and she realises the truth. As a mum I see it as my job to provide her with a great example, but to also surround her with a huge variety of OTHER great examples so that she sees the possibility in the entire sisterhood, not just my own one-dimensional version of it.
BTW, not loving your daughter's choice of headwear. Abi would have chosen that hat if she was dressed up as her dad, but thankfully she's followed my superb example when it comes to her footy team ;-)
I love their egocentric take on the world!!
ReplyDeleteI was telling my 4yo about all the different jobs I've had since I was a teenager. He was so amused.
Then I said that my favourite job was being a Mum and he asked me why didn't I just do that first then??!
:-) xx
So true, the rest is just stuff. x
ReplyDeleteVery true, and beautifully said!
ReplyDeleteLove the dress up, she is SO cute!
I was worried that my children would be confused by the fact that I keep on going on maternity leave, so one year I'm at home and the next I'm at work. But we don't need to complicate it, to them it's just how our life is. It's no big deal.
Love this post :)