I wrote this a few weeks ago but didn't want to post it. But, after talking about it with some friends, I thought it would be good to share it. To show you all that life here isn't always perfect...
I recently wrote about all the things I do (here) and how I manage to achieve everything I want to in a day.
Now, it's time to tell you the other side of the story.
That is, it doesn't always work.
There are great days, wonderful weeks, where everything falls into place like clockwork. They are the times I love, the days I fall asleep happy at the thought of everything I have achieved.
Then there are times like I've been having this week.
I'm tired.
My brain is in overdrive, not with wonderful, inspiring, coherent thoughts. No. With random, muddled, frustrating semi-thoughts.
The house is a mess. There is stuff everywhere. The floors are dirty. The washing is piling up.
I haven't cooked in days. Lucky I have a husband who enjoys cooking and has made sure meals are on the table.
And writing? Work? Well, it's getting done. Slowly. I'm not very productive when my befuddled thoughts get in the way.
Why? Why do I have weeks like this?
Is it because I'm getting less help with Abbey? Is it because she's sick or clingy or grumpy? Maybe because of some other outside factor?
No.
I've come to realise that it's just me. I do this to myself. It comes from all the pressure I put on myself.
No one else is pressuring me. Not one person in my life is being demanding or pushing me for more.
It's just me. I'm overwhelmed by my own expectations.
And it takes a lot to overwhelm me.
I'll get over it soon and be back to my usual happy self. But there's the truth for you - how do I do it? Well, I don't always.
Megan
We can't have it all going on perfectly all the time. It sounds a little like my week. Waking up in the middle of the night with great ideas, but negative thoughts, I'm exhausted, not to mention the household is virtually running itself..thanks for sharing,you've helped me realise that I should take a few days break, maybe, just hang about & stop expecting so much of myself...take care
ReplyDeleteI so know where you are coming from with this post.
ReplyDeleteI've been there too - and come out of it many times.
Many people ask me 'How can you do everything that you do.'
and I answer 'not very well sometimes.'
But of course at times everything is a breeze.
xx
Megan no one does it all all the time. No one, even if they say they do... something I am still learning. Slowly. :)
ReplyDeleteWe do put a lot of pressure on ourselves. I am a total control freak, while I used to pride myself on that now I am realising perhaps it's not always such a good thing.
I say go with it, the washing will get done... eventually, writing will resume, inspiration will come back.. in the mean time, put your feet up & watch Hubby cook!
xxx
Thank you for being real.
ReplyDeletexx
This is the first post I've ever read of yours- and I love it, because I live it. I'll keep reading......
ReplyDeleteMegan, thank you for sharing this. I love your honesty and it's my reality too. You are absolutely not alone and I don't juggle as much as you. Give yourself the permission to not be perfect - we all love you just the way you are! x
ReplyDeleteMegan, great post and yes we all feel like this sometimes. Don't be so hard on yourself....take time out sometimes to walk in the fresh air, to smell the roses.To get it all in perspective. Great Blog!
ReplyDeleteHey Megan - in the past I've felt inadequate watching what some other mums can achieve that I don't: working, being on multiple school committees, attending every school excursion, baking their kids birthday cakes. I can't seem to do it.
ReplyDeleteBut I've come to realise that even in the lives of those other mothers, balls are getting dropped somewhere. They really are. No on can do it all ALL of the time.
You're doing GREAT in my opinion! Achieving so, so much more than I did when I had my 8yo at home. i could barely get out the house!
xx