I think our fears of childhood obesity have gone too far.
Today, Steve and I took Abbey to her two year check at the Maternal Child Health Centre. All was fine and we were happily
She always made us feel good about our parenting and we would be really boosted after a visit to her. Abbey was a big baby, born just shy of 10lb (4.5kg) and putting on lots of weight as a baby. While I was trying to block out comments from some people around me who seemed to be so focused on obesity that they couldn't see the difference between a chubby baby and an actual problem in later childhood, this nurse was always really positive about Abbey's health.
But I was so disappointed today when, after weighing and measuring Abbey and entering the figures into the computer, the nurse began looking at Body Mass Index numbers. She sat down and talked to us about how it was all okay, because Abbey was just within the 'normal' range.
I dismissed what I felt she was insinuating and quickly changed the topic. I looked at my beautiful girl, who is just perfect in every way. I remembered noticing her little ribs through her chest last night when I bathed her, and looking at her still-slightly-chubby arms and legs and feeling thrilled that she still has a few little rolls. I thought about my body image when I was a child, and I felt incredibly sad.
I know that I may be over-reacting - after all, the nurse did talk to us about healthy foods and not giving our child too much 'screen time', and some parents need to be reminded of that stuff. I know that she's just doing her job and trying to help children be given the best start in life - and I fully support that aim.
But, despite that, I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable about having that conversation. Perhaps it's because I had the knowledge of Abbey's lifestyle (eating healthily and a maximum of half an hour 'screen time' each day - during which time she stands and dances, rather than sit down!).
Or perhaps it's because a healthy two-year-old should not have to be the subject of such an analysis.
Megan
So hard. My two boys have entirely different body shapes. Mr 8 is tall, lean and rangy ... Mr 7 is shorter, stockier, ball of muscle. But not fat, not even overweight. They weigh the same! But they will never, ever have a similar body type.
ReplyDeleteThat said, have a look around your local school or swimming pool - you'll see plenty of kids whose parents don't see that their kids are rapidly developing a health problem in later life.
It seems unfair that you had to be "chatted to" in that way when you are so doing the right thing with your wonderful little girl. I think it imminently sad that BMI is even charted for children at age 2. I see the reasons why the chat happened but all the same it'd be best if they asked you questions about what your child is like before assuming the worst? I think that because you are so hyper aware of the self esteem issues you'll be such a good and positive role model for Abbey that she won't feel it as keenly as you. You're a wonderful Mama Megan, truly, and this worry of yours is yet more evidence of that. Happy almost birthday gorgeous Abbey - and to her Mum and Dad well done to you both! Much love beautiful. xx
ReplyDeleteEx paediatric dietitan here. Damn child health nurses.... even gave me the guilts when mine were little. If your angel is close to the same percentile for weight and height (e.g.25th %ile weight, 25%ile height or 75th/75th) following along those percentiles and not crossing over them as they grow .....that is a more of an accurate indicator of how she is tracking. No such thing as a healthy weight RANGE as such for a 2 year old. Intelligent parents know best. Don't give it another thought. You are a superb Mum :) A-M xx
ReplyDeleteYou know, I have kind of the opposite problem. My boys are really thin, but I'm not worried one bit, because I was exactly the same as a kid, and I ate a lot. They eat a lot. Nothing abnormal at all, but still people can't help but comment about their ribs and how they need to 'fatten up'.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who had a little girl that was always really 'big'. As in, not 'fat', just kind of big all over. Tall, 'chubby' etc. She said that her daughter was the spitting image of her as a kid - and she was really thin herself! Some kids start off a little heavier, and then thin down as they grow. And for goodness sake, she's TWO! She still has her lovely baby weight!
Don't worry about what anyone says. You know best. We all walk on eggshells far too much these days overthinking everything. Enjoy Abbey. She IS perfect.
I'm inclined to think this nurse is just kind of following a procedure, telling you what she's obliged to tell you based on stats. But we all really need to not worry too much about what those stats say! Each child is different.
xx
No, they shouldn't. How awful for you! Like the time a dentist soundly ticked me off b/c son had three cavities- turns out he has an enamael defect and has since had 15 fillings and 6 extractions- but the cavities were NOT due to what I was feeding him.
ReplyDeleteThat same son was a huge chubster as a baby/toddler but is now like a praying mantis on a diet. If you know you're doing the right thing relax. I'm sure you are!
I totally agree with the Paediatric Dietician.
ReplyDeleteEx DHS primary school nurse here. As long as the height and weight percentiles are close to the same, no problem! In the next year or so you will see her change from toddler body shape to little girl shape.
She is a healthy beautiful toddler.
Liz
I hope you didn't dwell on that 'chat' for too long. You're dead set one of the best mums I've ever 'met' and Abbey sounds like such a healthy, active and happy little girl. What more could you ask for!? x
ReplyDeleteSo weird you're talking about this.
ReplyDeleteLast night, Ella asked me if she was fat (she's not) but I have noticed she's got a teensy little extra coating - something that tends to accumulate on 10 year old girls who are about to have a growth spurt.
And I found myself worrying. Was Ella 'fat'? Of course, my God, she's far from it, but I remember feeling nervous about it all - mainly because she had to ask me if she was fat.
She's only 10. It's all a bit frightening.