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| My girl running around a lake in the city |
Abbey twirled around as we waited for our friends out the front of a city theatre. Her little dress spun, and she lifted it up as she jumped and danced around.
Another mum, with twins in a pram, walked over and spoke to Abbey. 'Don't do that, sweetie, THE BOYS will see!'
If you want to make me angry, just tell my child what to do. Gets me fired up every time.
'Don't say that to my daughter,' I said.
'What?' she answered, clearly shocked. 'Do you WANT your daughter... (then she looks around before whispering)... exposing herself?'
'Um... she's THREE.'
'Yes, but you never know who's looking.' She gave me a knowing nod, and walked away.
I'm the first to put my hand up and say I'm pretty naive. I've never had to deal with anything terrible, and I've not done anything much 'wrong' in my life. And, while I'll have to face some realistic conversations with my girl one day, I can only use my attitude to life to guide her.
She is yet to know anything of 'stranger danger'. She approaches the world as, in my opinion, a three-year-old ought to: with innocence and fun and not a worry. In terms of dangers, she knows about not touching hot things, how to cross a road, water safety... and that's about it.
My approach to discipline is pretty straightforward, too. If there's a safety issue or a life lesson, then it's worth insisting she does or doesn't do something. But if she's having fun and it offends one person? No. It doesn't work like that, not in my world.
I want to know what sort of life people are living when words such as 'exposing herself' are deemed appropriate to use in relation to a young child? When a child twirling around at her mother's side is thought to be in danger?
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A few days later, we were at a busy inner suburb beach and I spotted two girls running around wearing nothing but their knickers. They were, at a guess, about nine and seven, and the smiles on their faces as they ran in and out of the water were beautiful. They were having fun, just enjoying a sunny day with their family. Carefree.
I looked around, this other experience fresh in my mind, wondering if anyone was going to voice an objection to these girls or their parents.
No one did. I saw nothing but smiles as people walked by.
I guess the world isn't so big and bad after all. And it's a relief to know that.
So utterly ridiculous a comment to have made to you or your daughter.
ReplyDeleteI can't begin to write about why what was said was so wrong, it would turn into an essay.
I am glad you saw the two girls at the beach and had your faith restored.
Oh wow I hear you on this! I know we need to keep our kids safe, but fearmongering and teaching them that nothing is safe doesn't seem the best way to go about it.
ReplyDeleteI've forgotten who it was by, but there is a really good stranger danger concept online about teaching our kids that not all strangers are bad - there are times they need to go up to someone and ask for help (if they're lost or need help). It's still a bit alarmist for me, but it's better than the "fear everyone and everything" concept that is preached so readily.
I think they other mother just exposed herself. There's a difference between teaching stranger danger and body image.
ReplyDeleteBut that's a whole long conversation.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
UGH!! The whole stranger danger thing gets me riled!! It just doesn't happen...well it does...but our kids are more likely to be hit by meteorites!
ReplyDeleteI stand and applaud you, Our children in this day and age are so quickly stripped of their innocents, I have a daughter now 6 and I would be livid if anyone would to approach her, before me and tell her what to do!
ReplyDeleteDid the women feel she was no more a stranger to your daughter or a threat beacuse she was female?
If I see children playing so freely, so childlike and acting there age it is a breath of fresh air you pause to watch and smile,reminisce on your own youth, not have the audacity to scould.
Innocence is to be treasured as long as possible, babies need to be babies, toddlers and children all in turn, with the all the fun that each stage presents. Imagine a world of three year olds who are afraid to go outside because there might be strangers out there. Ridiculous. Teach them personal safety by all means, but as the need arises, not as a wet blanket effect.
ReplyDeleteYou know how I feel about this kind of complete bullshit from strangers. I see the world, and parenting much the way you do and it really infuriates me that people offer unsolicited opinions like these. S knows the same dangers & want him to keep his wide eyed innocence as long as he can. X
ReplyDelete