Taking a hatchback 4WDing

We have a 4WD in our family... but what's the fun in that? If you want to play in the mud in a car, why not try something a bit smaller and less fitted out for such an occasion?

Here's how it works:

Step 1: Park the Mazda3 in mud. Just a tiny bit too far forward, with your front wheels in the mud. Being a front-wheel-drive, when you try to leave the wheels will spin.

Step 2: Try to get out of the situation by getting yourself further in. As in, heading down a dry-looking track into the forest. (Alarm bells start to ring in your head, but ignore those.) Here, you just need to do a six-point turn to point yourself back up the hill... and then get stuck in more mud. (Turns out it wasn't as dry as it looked.)

Step 3: Call husband, only to find he (and the 4WD) are well over the other side of the city. He offers to call a friend to help, and you sink slightly with embarrassment.

Step 4: Recover some pride and attempt to get yourself out. Moving big branches, making run-ups of dry bark for the front tyres, you feel rather proud of yourself and start to make some progress, until...

Step 5. Random man appears and starts ordering instructions. You listen and end up scratching and denting your car against a pole, and stuck further back in even more mud. Pretend your husband is about to turn up, which makes random unhelpful (but well-meaning) man leave.

Step 6. Be rescued by a friend. Slightly embarrassed, but still can't stop laughing at the whole situation. Ensure you explain you were nearly out until a man got you stuck further. (It's very important to exaggerate this part to make yourself sound less idiotic.)

Step 7. Drive AWAY from the mud. Quick.

As my Mum (who was in the car with me at the time) said afterwards: 'You're such a good mum, Megan, to go to such lengths to give Abbey such fun adventures!'

I'm running with that.