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| Picture yourself here |
My fifteenth year was spent in a room much like any other high school classroom, sitting by the window to make my daydreaming extra pleasant. I sang the words to Bon Jovi in my head, tried to slide under the bullies' radars, and was sure I knew more than the teachers I endured.
My homeroom teacher had a perfect white bob, long skirts and a soft voice. She was quite lovely in hindsight and loved to teach her class how to meditate. "Close your eyes," she'd whisper, and I'd stare at her. "Uncross your legs and your arms." I'd cross my limbs defiantly. In between her relaxing chants to the other girls she'd silently gesture to me to do what I was told, her calm voice at battle with her frustrated eyes. I loved torturing her, knowing she couldn't tell me off right then.
I thought meditation was stupid and dumb and a waste of time. "Reeeeeeellllaaaaaaaxxxxxxx," I'd laugh after class. "She is, like, SUCH a loser."
My hairdresser likes to think he's my counsellor, always tells me how much I need to stop worrying and stressing out. I don't even tell him I'm worried or stressed, he just assumes I am. Maybe I have that look about me. I went in for a haircut last week and he told me I should start meditating.
"Just half an hour a day," he said. "I get up half an hour earlier every morning - so, at 7am I'm up and focusing and breathing and..." Here's where I stopped listening and started concentrating really hard on not laughing. 7am! Haha! I bit my tongue to stop myself from saying, "Mate, if I got up half an hour earlier I'd be up at 4.30am. Not going to happen."
I've heard meditation can be as useful as sleep, but, well, I'd still rather sleep when I can.
I know I could find time to meditate if I really wanted to (maybe at night when the kids are asleep), and I know it might even do me some good. But I think if I hear someone telling me to relax I'll glare at them with the anger of my fifteen-year-old self - or even do something more violent.
Perhaps I should just stick to walking out my stress. Or sleeping.
Do you meditate? How do you deal with people telling you to "Just relax"?
I think you and I are alike in this. If someone tells me to do something, even for my own good, even if I want to, I'm likely to cross my arms in defiance.
ReplyDeleteI do meditate. But it's less about time and more about thoughts. I went to some classes in a temple at the back of our mountain. They were good, one day I may go again. But my evenings are precious.
As for being told to just relax... nothing makes my shoulders tense faster!
I can't stand being told to relax. I just did IVF for 18 months to get pregnant with my son and if one more person told me that all I needed to do was relax I was going to punch on.
ReplyDeleteI try to meditate though, just before bed - but like you I would rather be sleeping. Especially because my little man could be waking me up at 1.30am!
Nothing winds me up tighter than being told to "relax"! I do want to do some meditation but like Naomi said above, it's to stop the thoughts. I have been meaning to try a guided meditation but not got there yet. If I find a good one that isn't too airy fairy I will let you know. X
ReplyDeletePs. You and I were alike even at 15!!!
ReplyDeleteI've always wanted to meditate, ever since Gary McDonald said it helped with his anxiety. But I just can't stop thinking about all the other things I could be doing, like reading a book or faffing about on the net!
ReplyDeleteWhen my husband says, "Relax," I feel murderous so maybe I should try a littler harder!
I continually love your blog. Honestly I think you're a beautiful writer :) In terms of relaxing I think listening to Classical music, or reading in the bath.
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