I pulled my baby girl towards me, holding her face with my hand just as she likes me to. I looked in her eyes as I sang along: "It's just so easy when the whole world fits inside of your arms".
Later that day someone I know gave me some news. She's moving away. This is someone I've relied on to help me through this past year. She's given me the ability to stay strong.
They say people enter our lives for a reason. Over the years I've had friends who have enriched my life or taught me more about this world and myself. Some of them stick around, others drift out - maybe gone forever or perhaps one day to drift back in. Only time can tell that story.
It's like I'm losing an anchor, left to once again float by myself. I encouraged her, congratulated her, gave her the words she wanted to hear, but I don't really know what it's like. I've never moved away from these hills. Don't really want her to go. But like any change, there are lessons to be learnt.
It's time to trust in myself once again. To know that she didn't give me that strength I've been feeling - she supported me as I found it in myself. It was always there and will remain so, if I make that choice.
I've learnt that when it's all too much, when I'm overwhelmed and ready to melt down with frustration, I shouldn't run away. Those are the times I need to let others help me rejuvenate that strength.
Most importantly, I now know the value of connection. To really feel a touch, to give honestly from my depths, to make eye contact with not just a glimpse but to look. Really look.
The whole world is right here in my arms. All I have to do is hold onto it.
I have been the mover awayerer quite a bit, but I have also had lots move away. I hate it. You don't get used to it, but you do get better at dealing with it. The best thing is, usually those friends become lifers. The ones who will be there dancing at your 60th birthday and beyond.
ReplyDeleteThey may no longer be close in proximity, but I'm sure they will be still close in heart. x
ReplyDeleteI have been the mover and the one left. I'm with Claire on this one.Doesn't make right now any easier though, but most of those left or that have left, are the ones whose homes I can still walk into as if it is my own.
ReplyDeleteYou really write well. I am stranger who's dropping by. Connections are really important. When we want a change from the idea of 'internalized' strength, we externalize it, and find solace in people we love. It really proves helpful.
ReplyDeleteYou really write well. I am stranger who's dropping by. Connections are really important. When we want a change from the idea of 'internalized' strength, we externalize it, and find solace in people we love. It really proves helpful.
ReplyDeleteYou really write well. I am stranger who's dropping by. Connections are really important. When we want a change from the idea of 'internalized' strength, we externalize it, and find solace in people we love. It really proves helpful.
ReplyDelete