Emotionally, that's how I am when I've given out too much and not taken enough space for myself. It's like I'm so drained I don't even have the energy to feel anything.
Numb.
Physically, that's how my limbs feel when I've hit that emotional point - but have ignored it.
This morning I went into the national park. Just to feel.
Feel my feet on the rough ground.
Feel the shock of the cold air as I visibly breathe it out.
Feel the certainty of a beginning and an end.
Feel my breath get faster and faster, and then settle into a rhythm.
Feel my muscles working.
Feel the sweat dripping down my face.
Feel my sure footing atop the slippery path.
Feel my heart beat faster and faster. (I'm alive!)
Feel the blood running to every part of my body.
Feel the energy of others walking past, and I soak up their enthusiasm.
Feel the adrenalin rush, the "I did it!" moment.
Feel.
it feels great to get out there, doesn't it? that's how i feel at my personal training sessions. although, they also make me feel completely shattered, so it's kind of a vicious cycle. make sure you're taking care of you Megan. xo
ReplyDeleteThis. You have just written how I feel.
ReplyDeleteBest get out there myself.
And take care of yourself x
Sometimes we need to feel numb to appreciate feeling alive. I'm not saying that this is where we should be on a regular basis, or even recommend it, but I just know that feeling of numb and emptiness. I even posted about it last week. Just to take that time out makes us a new person.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you. Sometimes motherhood, and being a wife takes it all out of us. xxx
i haven't met you. i live in utah, in the united states. i happened across your blog months ago, and have avidly read it since.
ReplyDeletei love you. fiercely. and i want nothing more than to just hug you and be there for you and tell you everything will be okay.
i haven't had kids, and therefore, haven't had post pardum depression. but, i do struggle with depression. and a great many of your posts resonate with me, deep into my soul.
i have recently taken up rock climbing, despite my large fear of heights. and it taught me how to feel again. i went months, almost a year, of feeling nothing. numb. and this past february i rock climbed, i swung off the 140ft corona arch in moab utah. and i FELT.
it was monumental. it was eye opening. it was everything. it brought a great realization of what i have ben doing to myself and how it abolutely was not okay. and how it absolutely NEEDED to change, for good. completely.
i feel alive again. rejuvenated. refreshed. and ready. and more than anything, i want you to always feel this way as well.
you are so strong, and an amazing woman. honest to blog, you inspire me daily.