There's nothing that can make a mum feel more like a speck of dirt on the floor than the question, "What do you do all day?"
Well, except for the thoughts that go through your mind afterwards: "I feed the kids, clean, feed them again, clean up again, go food shopping, do the dishes, drown in piles of washing, run them around, feed them, watch swimming lessons, tackle meltdowns, do kinder duty, feed them again..." And then the suspicion: "My life is shiiiiiiit!"
I was asked this question the other day and just laughed it off at the time. But later I faced those inner thoughts, which left me feeling crushed and flat for a day. Ordinarily, I'm quite proud of what I do so that result annoys me. I guess it highlights some deep doubts, something that's perhaps bound to happen when your life isn't completely your own anymore.
In the end I bring myself round by rethinking it. What do I do all day? I nurture people as they grow, encourage them, sometimes teach them hard lessons, and provide them with a childhood to be remembered fondly forever. Then, I write - in limited time I've built the career of my dreams, not to perfection but to just right for now.
What do I do all day? I just live my life.
Greetings - after a long time.
ReplyDeleteYou do one of the most important jobs - rear future citizens of your country to become useful members of society, which these days means worldwide!
Sorry not to have been around - malignant computers and other media things have been occupying me to the exclusion of this enjoyable pastime. Intend to return to blog following more regularly, so....nice to see you looking so well.
Isobel: www.ColdhamCuddliescalling.blogspot.com
Oh Megan. That question is so derogatory! And do you nobody has ever askede what I do all day? Time has never gone so fast, and any full time job I've had has never been as busy as motherhood. And what's even more scary is the fact that I could do so much more, and feel inadequate over THAT! Three cheers to motherhood. The job that is never done, not really appreciated, and the best one I've ever had. X
ReplyDelete"what do you do all day?"
ReplyDeleteI used to answer this with "not much. I baked some brownies, read a book for a few hours, cooked dinner...". They'd say "but don't you have kids?" and I'd say, "yes, 4 of them, I chuck them outside after breakfast and don't let them back in until dinnertime". Try it and watch the jaws drop. For heaven's sake! They had kids themselves, what did they think I did all day?
Oh lordy I hate this question. There is so much that makes my day and most of it yes, is boring Mum stuff but it's that stuff that creates beautiful human adults (hopefully). All day whether I'm mothering, writing or working I am setting an example for my children and keeping our family moving forward. I may not be saving the world but to me it's just as important.
ReplyDeletePS Love your answer x
Bravo, well said! I find I'm only ever asked this question by those without kids, or by those who had them so long ago they can't remember. Reading your post reminded me of a quote I read this morning: 'Be happy. It drives people crazy'. I've only recently discovered your blog and I love it.
ReplyDeleteNext time someone asks you that, give them your "I nurture people as they grow, encourage them, sometimes teach them hard lessons, and provide them with a childhood to be remembered fondly forever
ReplyDeleteresponse then say, "What do YOU do all day? I see workforce production is down significantly due to people taking too many sick days and spending too many hours on social media...." xo Aroha
Such a ridiculous question! Imagine asking someone in the office environment what they do all day? Seriously! Maybe that's why I like Instagram so much though. Cos it's a record of what the heck I do all day with my little darlings. This very day is the first time ever that I asked Mr 4.5 if he could play whilst his brother napped so I could rest and read my book as I'm not feeling the greatest. And he actually said yes!!! I'm constantly thinking of ways I can engage, entertain and enlighten them and keep on top of the mountains of dust, food crumbs and washing. Xxx
ReplyDeleteMy goodness when will people learn? Perhaps when they become a parent who stays or works from home themself x
ReplyDeleteBetter someone else ask the question, I say! x
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Been thinking about this. Love that last paragraph. My answer: I'm creating a life I love xx
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